By Ryan Singletary (28), Mars Hill Bellevue
By the Summer of 2005, Annie and I had been dating for almost five years. You read that right--
five years. I was afraid of marriage just enough to avoid it. But I sure didn't want to lose her either, so I kept it on the table...for someday when we were both "ready." Annie was afraid of me leaving her just enough to act like she didn't mind.
From the outside, and by worldly standards, everything looked great. We used important words like "love" and "commitment." We never raised our voices at one another. Nobody ever saw us fight because, well, we didn't. Some of our friends were puzzled that we hadn't already moved in together.
But something was missing.
We were both lost. Searching. Annie had little church background. I had once been a committed Catholic, long since lapsed. The prodigal son not yet convinced to come home. Then one day I decided to pick up the Bible that had been collecting dust on my bookshelf. A gift from Annie's mom. Annie had a matching copy. So when I told her of my plan to read the whole thing in a year she decided to join in. The two of us on yet another journey together.
In the months that followed we kept on pace. We agreed to look for a church to attend. Occasionally (and separately from on another) someone would notice us reading from the Bible and comment. A few suggested we check out Mars Hill Church in Ballard. Eventually we did. It was different from any church either of us had ever known, or even heard about. The pastor was direct, convicting. The words we had been reading came to life. We began to change. Slowly at first, but picking up speed as though we had been swept up in an avalanche of God's saving grace.
I prayed to Him about my future with Annie. I prayed in Jesus' name. He answered by removing my fear.
Since that time God the Father has had His hand on our relationship. Annie and I used our nine-month engagement as a time of sanctification. We asked Jesus into our relationship as well. He held our hand as we tossed out five years of sinful living. He washed us clean.
When the wedding day came, Jesus stood with me at the altar. Jesus walked Annie, in her white dress, down the aisle. His gospel was proclaimed. And by His grace we entered into covenant as man and wife, becoming one flesh.
The change continues. We moved to a new town to begin our new life together. We joined a community group through which God has showered us with wonderful friends. Last spring we welcomed our first child into the world, a son. All along our love has grown deeper. Closer. More real.
Not to say there haven't been tough times. There have. But we approach them differently. With love and with full commitment. Just like Jesus does with us.
As Valentine's Day approaches, Annie and I are reminded of the stark contrast between now and then. For us, as I think for many, this holiday's theme used to be give much to get much. But grace doesn't work that way. Jesus didn't give himself up to death, even death on a cross, to get something in return. There's nothing we have that could repay Him. So that's how we try to love each other--giving fully, expecting nothing in return.
Yes, we are selfish sinners. Yes, we fall short. But with Jesus, Valentine's Day isn't about giving in order to get. It's about giving because much has already been given to us. In this is love. On Valentine's Day and every day.
Share your story. Has Jesus used the ministry of Mars Hill Church to change you? Email testimony [at] marshillchurch.org.