The "Changed by Jesus" series features stories about how Jesus is working through the ministry of Mars Hill Church to change lives. If God has used Mars Hill to transform your life, email your story to testimony[at]marshillchurch.org. By Drew, BC, Canada My marriage was as over as it gets. Pot, porn, infidelity, control and abuse were my fruit. There was no joy or freedom left. There was only baggage. And I considered myself a Christian! I was baptized, attended church randomly and was not moving forward. I would go on massive house cleaning missions and become Mr. Religious now and again. Of course, my wife would be thinking "Put down the 2 x 4 Pharisee!" My heart was the same as it ever was; acting good never worked. Trying harder meant that I would eventually slip into conviction and guilt. Conviction and guilt would turn me into Mr. Sin. It would lead to porn, pot and gaming leaving my wife alone for hours every night. This behavior eventually led her to give up on me and pursue a relationship with another man.

Rock Bottom

The lies I believed about who I was and who God is stopped me from letting Him in. During my downward spiral I listened to Pastor Mark’s podcasts. The life he spoke of in Christ was foreign. His humor really reached me and as I listened, here was a guy who spoke in a way that was relevant, yet biblically sound. But, the feeling of conviction inside of me would force me to turn him off. My life hit rock bottom when I was forced to be honest with my wife about an affair, my pornography and all of my sin against her and God. I had nothing left. I asked God to run my life and I was doing such an awesome job letting Him back in! God literally led me to a recovery program and I jumped in.

Turning Around

Listening to Pastor Mark and John Piper about sin drove me to share it with a brother at work, my pastor and as many Christian friends that I knew. I figured all I had to lose was the crappy life I had been leading anyway! So, I self-imposed rules; There would be no more pot or software games in my life. And, I became accountable to my brother at work. I encouraged him to ask me those hard questions and thanked him every time he did.

True Freedom & a New Marriage

Freedom is wonderful and it’s only found in Christ. I was astounded by the love and encouragement my brothers and sisters had for me. The more I let go of my secrets and the more I accepted the love of God, the more I wanted to be like Him. For the first time in my life, instead of feeling the pressure to control myself and act the part of a Christian, I felt the love of God pouring out of my heart. The word of God seems to be written just for me. My wife is a new woman to me, and next to Jesus she is my treasure. He has turned my heart of stone into one of flesh and written his commandments on it. I have a new marriage and even joy with my kids. I see them hungry for God because of my example, not my commands. The Gospel is true and miracles happen every day!