The "Changed by Jesus" series features stories about how Jesus is working through the ministry of Mars Hill Church to change lives. If God has used Mars Hill to transform your life, email your story to testimony[at]marshillchurch.org. by Marie, Seattle I grew up in a small church here in Ballard. I lived in a family that put on the Sunday Christian facade. I did my share of drinking and drugs at an early age but at 17 the new youth pastor at our church especially sought out those of us who went to church but didn't really want to be there. I accepted Christ as my personal savior was baptized and went on to become a youth leader in our church. Cut to 10 years later I am living in a garage with my drug-addicted boyfriend caring for him and his children. I spent a total of over three years with a man who stole my money, screamed hateful things at me daily and raped me. I had told myself that this is as good as it gets, the very small morsels of what I perceived as love and affection were all I was worth. During a majority of the relationship, I continued to attend church and was a Sunday school teacher. Every Sunday I would leave church knowing my relationship would never work. One Sunday a friend brought me to Mars Hill in the middle of the Peasant Princess series and I was blown away. Pastor Mark was speaking about men and the different ways they can be demeaning towards women. My boyfriend was the over-achiever, as he didn't qualify in one or two of those categories but every single one. The more I attended the more God spoke to me. Not that there were men out there that would treat me right but that He is my Father and cried for me when I couldn't cry for myself. That He was with me in the very worst of moments. Moreover, He still wanted me and could never love me anymore or any less. I joined a community group in my neighborhood and quickly realized that this was my family who wanted to walk with me though the ugliest parts of my life. Even with that support I deliberately turned away from God and all that He had blessed me with. I chose to live the sin God had already once delivered me from. Walking away from that relationship a second time was hard but it was the understanding and accepting God's grace that truly broke me. It amazes me how God has blessed me through my rebellious actions! I was baptized about a month ago here at Ballard and the Lord has freed me from the identity I created for myself in that relationship and I am walking in my new identity in Christ!! I have repeatedly chosen fear over freedom, lust over love, greed over graciousness, and hatred over forgiveness and humility and yet through it all God has loved me as His daughter.