Jeannie and I were married during the first term of the Reagan administration. Some of you may not even know who Reagan is. I was in college on a basketball scholarship, leading a community group, teaching a college Bible class and working full-time at night. Jeannie was an only child who was living 1,388 miles away from her parents' home, a mere 18 years old and madly in love with her new 21-year-old husband. (Okay, maybe not "madly.") We dreamed of raising a beautiful family, serving the Lord together as a family and staying as thin as we were at that time forever. But you can't have all your dreams come true. We didn't get pregnant until seven years into our marriage. After talking about adoption, we were planning tests to see why she couldn't get pregnant. One afternoon she ran into my office after visiting a doctor about her unexplained sickness and our lives changed forever. After seven years of barrenness, we were thrilled to be expecting a child.

"Ten hours later we had a son, one who had a hole in his lung."

But, as if waiting seven years to be parents weren't enough, now our unborn child was a full two weeks late. Jeannie was pregnant nine and a half months by this time and unless she was having an elephant, the doctor figured she was ready to bring this kid into the world. They induced her; she struggled through the labor. Ten hours later we had a son, one who had a hole in his lung. They rushed him into neonatal intensive care unit and put him in an oxygen tent. We were stressed and confused. We couldn’t get pregnant for many years, and now that he was born we wondered why God would take him away. I walked the NICU hallway and prayed for his healing and I told God that if he wanted our boy, he could take him and we would praise him in spite of the pain that this would bring us. I placed this long-awaited child in God's hands and left the outcome to him. After three days in the hospital, his lung repaired itself. He has been healthy ever since. Twenty-one years later, he is actively involved at Mars Hill Church, working part-time and finishing his senior year at the University of Washington. We could not be more grateful for the grace of God in his life. We had another son four years later. His mother struggled with her health in this pregnancy. He is now in his senior year at Shoreline Christian School. He is active in church, sports and is preparing to attend his older brother’s rival college in August, Washington State University. This summer we will celebrate two graduations and 30 years of marriage. We will also begin an empty nest phase with gratefulness to God for entrusting two handsome boys to us to bring glory to God. The circumstances of my son’s birth changed my view of parenting. Our two sons do not belong to us. They are entrusted to us by God to bring glory to him. Being parents changed us as people in the following ways.

1. We learned about the sacrifice of a Father. We sacrificed for our sons and committed our lives to shepherd them into spiritual, mental, physical, and sociological maturity.
2. We depended daily on the grace of God, the Spirit of God and the wisdom of God for guidance and provision to guide their lives.
3. We enjoyed the bumpy ride with them. We made mistakes, apologized, forgave, and laughed often.
4. We learned more about the gospel. We learned more about our identity as a child belonging to a family. We learned how sin separates us from our relationship to our Father and that the pain is experienced by all. We learned that sin has consequences and mostly we learned that confession, repentance, and reconciliation are available through the redemption story.
5. We experienced grace in real ways. A grace-filled home is where it is safe to make mistakes, be yourself, have fun, try out new dance moves, and bring friends over.

The Apostle Peter tells elders to shepherd the flock of God that is among them, to provide oversight with a willing heart as God does for us, and to be an example to those entrusted to us (1 Peter 5:1-3). To parent our sons, we believed these principles applied to us to pastor our family with graceful, sacrificial, and exemplary oversight. I’m grateful God entrusted them to us for his own glory. Scott Thomas is the president of Acts 29. Stay tuned for more Parenting Sons and Daughters posts this winter from Pastors Scott and Dave, respectively.