Last week, Pastor Dave wrote about how compliance—those outward displays of obedience—is not in and of itself what he and his wife want for their daughters, but rather that their hearts be turned toward Christ and that then their actions follow out of that conversion. Today, he writes about what a parent's role is in that conversion for their children. It seemed like the perfect plan for my daughter Lauren’s fifth birthday party. We would celebrate with a big family dinner followed by ice cream and cake. Then, just before she unwrapped her gifts, she would invite Jesus into her heart. Everything went according to plan, except the very biggest detail: Jesus didn’t follow our script that night. Dad must have a biblically formed view of salvation as he watches for evidence of God’s work in the lives of his kids. Specifically, he needs to come to terms with the scriptural sequence of salvation. Some good Christians falsely believe that people initiate relationship with God by making a decision to trust Jesus, and God then responds to human initiative by granting grace.

Father knows best, not Dad

But the Bible consistently presents the reverse scenario: The Bible teaches that God initiates relationship with us through the life-giving ministry (regeneration) of the Holy Spirit, and then we respond in faith. Jesus most convincingly makes this point. He claims in John 6:44, "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him." He similarly explains to a baffled Nicodemus that one must be born again by the Spirit of God to enter the kingdom of God. No one arrives through his own will (John 3:1-15). Jesus’ disciple John draws a similar conclusion in the prologue to his gospel: children of God are born not of human will nor initiative, but by the will of God himself (John 1:12-13). In this sense, the regenerative work of the Holy Spirit precedes saving faith even if just by a nanosecond.

Dads, don't get in the way of the Father's plan

This may seem like splitting hairs to many, but it makes all the difference in the world. If my daughter could enter relationship with Jesus through a simple prayer, or by intellectual assent, or even via a clever scheme by her dad, then my birthday plan for Lauren was brilliant. But if new life can only be given by the Holy Spirit, then my plan was destined to fail if I was out in front, thwarting the Holy Spirit’s regenerative work in my sweet girl. Fast forward five years later. Lauren was ten and listening to me preach through Luke 14:25–35 while my special guest at a college retreat. She was struck by an illustration I used from C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. She for the first time got that Mrs. Beaver is really speaking of Jesus when she says of Aslan, "’Course he isn’t safe. But he is good. He is the King, I tell you." As we took a walk together later that evening, she crumbled under the weight of her sin against and separation from King Jesus. She was desperate for Jesus to forgive her. We prayed together and she was reborn.

3 things dads can do

So what can dads do to work alongside God as he saves children? Here are a few things that have served me well:

1. Pray tenaciously that the Holy Spirit would breathe new life into little dead hearts and don’t stop until he does.
2. Preach the gospel to your kids and plead for a sincere response of repentance and faith.
3. Look for traumatic conviction followed by true consolation in Jesus the Holy Spirit performs as his signature work.

Dave Bruskas is the campus pastor of the Albuquerque campus. He and his wife, Lisa, have four daughters. Coming up this weekend on the sermon podcast, hear Pastor Mark preach on the same Scripture mentioned above, Luke 14:25–35.