My wife Sue and I came across to the USA from Johannesburg, South Africa, nearly a year ago, thanks to a set of miraculous circumstances that I previously outlined here. I came to Seattle to study at the Resurgence Training Center, and also to intern at the Shoreline campus. I wasn’t prepared for the fact that my time interning at Shoreline was going to be just as an important in my learning and development as my time studying was going to be. It has nearly killed me, and I mean that in a good way. Here’s how that makes sense. I worked as a pastor in a growing church for five years before I came to Seattle. I was in no way ready or prepared for that job, and God in his infinite wisdom knew that I had developed some major flaws in my character as a result. In fact, what I have realized is that I had made ministry into idolatry. Here’s how interning is helping me to put that idolatry to death.

1. I have been stripped of my title of "pastor" and left to understand my title of "son."

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I had started to get a great deal of affirmation and sense of identity from the fact that I was a pastor. No one called me "pastor" at church—in fact I insisted that they didn’t—but I needed them to see me as their spiritual leader and one who could bring them fresh insights into God and his love. I was elated when we "succeeded," and miserable when we "failed." As I spent a lot of time articulating God’s loving fatherly heart to others, I failed to properly preach it to myself. No one knew who I was when I arrived at Mars Hill. It was refreshing at first as it meant that pressure was off and I didn’t have to perform. But after a while, my ego starting craving recognition, and my identity idol started demanding to be fed. One night as I was running cables under the stage in preparation for a Christmas service, I snapped, and screamed out in my head, Do you know who I am? Do you know what I can do in God’s church? It instantly sounded ridiculous, as idols always do when they are exposed, but that night I found myself staring in the mirror asking, "Do you know who I am?" The Spirit of God whispered, "You are my son." Galatians 4:7 confirmed this for me, and I have been trying to live in it daily ever since. Being a son is much better than being a pastor.

2. I have been given a huge appreciation for volunteers.

I have always been the guy who set the bar high for the performance level of volunteers. I believe that the work in God’s church needs to be excellent. But, in that quest for excellence I overlooked the hard work and sacrifice that the volunteers were putting in. Being a volunteer has been really helpful for me, and it will hopefully always stay in my mind as I work with volunteers in the future. Remember what it has cost your volunteers to be where they are. Call them to excellence, but love them well as you lead them along the way.

3. Being away from my home church has given me a renewed love for "my own flock."

I love the people at my home church in South Africa. But the problem with the continual access to things like podcasts and articles is that pastors often spend most of their time wishing they had the flock of the guy they are listening to on the podcast does. Acts 20:28 says that the Holy Spirit gets to decide which flock you get to oversee, not you. Love the flock you have, not the one you wish you had. I had to be away from mine for a while to realize this.

4. The mystery of "the successful church" has been removed, and an increased wonder at God’s Holy Spirit has replaced it.

Mars Hill is an incredible place, and it has really gifted leaders overseeing it, but it is mainly just a bunch of really ordinary people who love Jesus and who are seeing incredible things happen in spite of them and not because of them. When we look in on movements like this, the temptation is to think that the people are superhuman, rather than to wonder at the God who is supernatural. With all due respect to Mars Hill, I don’t come away thinking that the people are better than the rest of us. Rather, I come away thinking that God has done and continues to do something really amazing in and through them. The cool thing about Mars Hill people is that they will be fine with that. It’s all about Jesus after all, and they live and breath that.

5. I have been forced to examine whether my private devotion matches up to public appearance of devotion.

I’ll just say it: pastors learn the subtle art of faking spiritual devotion. Well, at least I did. When you aren’t the guy on the platform, then there is nothing to fake, and all you are left with is what is actually happening in your life, and that has been alarming, but ultimately releasing for me. My private devotion to God didn’t come close to matching my public appearance of devotion to God. That’s changing, thank God. Being an intern at Mars Hill has very nearly killed me. I have a couple of months to go yet, and hopefully the old me will be totally dead by the time we are done. Why don’t you give it a go? Find out more about Mars Hill Internships. Deadline for applications for the 2011-2012 year is May 15. Ross Lester coordinates the Sunday Service teams at the Shoreline campus. This summer, he and Sue will return to Johannesburg, where he will pastor an Acts 29 church there. This post originally appeared on his blog.