Four Guys in Portland, Talking about Jesus
Statistically, males between the ages of 18 to 29 living in the Pacific Northwest (and New England) are the demographics most likely to claim “none” for their religious preference, and it’s not hard to imagine why going to church on a Sunday morning might not be a guy’s natural inclination.
So what about the guys who are going to church? Why are they there? Why are they not rolling out of bed to go get brunch? One Sunday at Mars Hill Portland, staff editor Holly talked with four friends, Ryan (21), Nate (21), Mac (19), and Brad (23). One is a painter at a subfab manufacturing plant, another is an electrical apprentice, a third works with graphite parts, and one is, well, working on finding a job. All four had been going to a church in nearby Gresham that closed its doors last November and have since started attending Mars Hill Portland. Some things in life they feel like they’ve got figured out, but there’s a lot still to go. One thing’s sure though: whatever they’re doing in life, it’s gonna be a life that starts Jesus. Here are their thoughts on church, service, marriage, and mission.
Mars Hill: So what’d you think of your first service?
Mac: I liked it, I enjoyed it, it was cool. It was weird watching like a television for a sermon, but I liked the message and stuff. . . . It kinda had the same feel [of our old church,] more of a smaller, community-based church. The building was way cooler and the pews are really tight, kinda old school.
Have you had a lot of Christian community before this?
Most of my friends are Christian, but they’re not really living like they are. They party a lot. A bunch of my friends live in the same house and they drink every night and they’re all underage. They’re wasted every night. So I’m trying to distance myself from them more and more. . . . They’re just kinda going the wrong direction and I don’t really wanna be around that necessarily.
Why don’t you wanna be around that?
I don’t wanna get sucked into that again. I partied a lot for a couple years [Nate: “We both did.”] It was a couple years of just not really caring about the direction I was going in life at all but still saying I was a Christian, and I’m trying to get out of that rut. So I haven’t drank in a long time and I don’t get high anymore so it’s kinda been like, gonna steer away from everything they’re starting to head towards more and more.
If you’re steering yourself away from them, what are you steering yourself toward?
I don’t know yet, I’m just spinning the wheel right now. I wanna get connected in the church and just go over there [to the CG sign-up area] to see if I can get rooted here.
Why’d you come to Mars Hill?
Brad: It was recommended to us by [a friend]. We weren’t sure where we were gonna go at first. Our friend really recommended it here. . . . It was an opportunity to come here, serve, and get plugged in. For me, it was like, “Alright, I’ll just kinda come here, go for it, see what happens.” And we just got plugged in security, Community Group, and everything.
What’s it like serving?
It’s pretty cool. [The guys I work with] are all awesome. We’re here to help and have something to do, just be part of it.
I just wanna serve, you know, and just contribute to the church and do whatever God is praying for, I guess. I know it sounds kinda vague but it’s just because I don’t really know what it is he wants me to do yet. I have a solid job and everything so I know I can contribute to the church financially, and maybe one day when I get my own house I can offer up the house for Community Groups some day or something like that, so I can contribute that way. But really I’m just here to serve the Lord in what I can, you know, just kinda do what needs to be done.
That’s a lot to give up: time, finances, and home. Why do you want to serve in all those areas?
Well it’s ‘cause you’re always gonna need it. It’s not like you tithe once a month or something and are like, “Oh, I’m good for the year.” I mean, we’re constantly gonna need to grow, and we are growing—Mars Hill’s exploding right now.
And there’s plenty of new believers coming around, and we gotta be able to be prepared for them [and] serve them . . . just be able to grow and expand. So just serving the church as it grows and gets bigger. Yeah, that’s kinda what I got in my head right now.
So how excited are you all to come in as a group of single guys and find out we’re doing a series on marriage for 11 weeks?
Ryan: I like it. It’s like [Pastor Mark] warned us at the beginning of the sermon: just because we’re single doesn’t mean we can just tune out and go off on vacation. No, this is stuff that we’re gonna learn, [so] we might as well learn it now before so we can start seeing the signs ahead of time and can catch ourselves.
Brad: Yeah, I’m stoked to be doing marriage. I mean, I imagine most single guys probably wanna get married, for whatever reason, but you know, it’s cool. It’s kinda like the next step for me personally, so yeah, it’s a big part of life. Marriage is huge in how our relationships are supposed to be with God and everything and so I just want to [apply] that.
Why is marriage huge in your relationship to God?
Because how marriage is supposed to reflect how we’re the bride and how God is the groom and everything. And so like it’s about glorifying God and life, how he wants you to reflect his glory and how like how he loves us and you reflect that and loving your wife or your husband one day and not doing a 50/50 relationship where you do your part, I do mine, but where it’s genuine loving toward each other just because you love them.
Why would a 50/50 relationship not feeling loving?
Because when it’s, “I’ll wash the dishes if you vacuum the carpet,” or something, the relationship is just about, “You do your part, and I’ll do my part.” When you do that, it’s, “Oh, you didn’t do the dishes this week? So I’m just kinda gonna give a little bit less.” But, when it’s, “Only because I love you, I just gotta give everything I got into a relationship,” that’s what God did with us. He didn’t wait for us. It’s not like he was like, “OK, I’ll give you a little bit, now you give me something.” No, he just did it. Even though we were still sinning, his Son died for us. He didn’t wait for us to make the first move.
Ryan: It’s the covenant, not the contract.
What does “covenant, not the contract” mean?
Covenant would be more like a “I’m doing this for you.” Not, “This is a contract where I have to do it and then you do your part, and that’s how we come to our agreement.” Covenant with God was basically that, he was going to [save] us out of grace. Not because we deserve it or not because we did anything to deserve it—just because he loved us.
[A contract relationship] causes more stress than anything because you’re more worried about the other person and not yourself and so you’re trying to be someone’s boss over everything . . . and making sure that they’re holding up their end and you’re not focused on you holding up your end. Whereas, if you both keep each other accountable, then, it’s communication.
What have you seen in the relationships in the church?
Brad: Something I’ve seen is all the married dudes, they seem to be really involved in the church in some way, like none of them are being really passive and just attending. Especially in our Community Group, they’re all there, not just to be there, but to grow into leaders, and they want to disciple other leaders. It’s not just a “get comfortable” situation. It’s about stepping forward and growing.
Stay tuned next week to hear from one Mars Hill Portland woman, Alissa, and how God’s turned her life upside down in the last year—in the best ways.
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