You probably already know Jefferson Bethke, or you at least know him as the “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus” guy. On February 12, Bethke, who’s part of our Federal Way church, performed his follow-up spoken word poem, “Sex, Marriage, & Fairytales” at Mars Hill Church U-District to over 1,000 people at three Sunday services. Here’s a video of his performance at that event, plus the verses of his poem transcribed below.

“Sex, Marriage, & Fairytales”

Jeff Bethke

Disney movies and chick flicks—see, they’ve put us in a weird position
They’ve distorted our reality, and we forget they’re actually fiction.

See, in marriage, we either get better or bitter, either joy or remorses
But what we’re doing isn’t working, just look at the rate of divorces.

So how’s your marriage? I mean, come on, let’s be honest.
Most marriages seem like a prison than the paradise we were promised.

See, we thought marriage was supposed to make us happy, not lonely.
But the truth is God’s first priority is making you holy.

You say “No one told me, and it feels so odd
That dating felt like a vacation while marriage feels like a job.”

Yet the secret of joy, if we just pull back the façade,
Is realizing those problems arise when we elevate our spouse to god. 

See, without knowing it, we fulfilled Romans 1:25
By our actions, “exchanged the truth about God for a lie.”

We’ve exchanged God for lesser created things—
It’s like a husband trading his wife for a 2-D image on a screen— 

Hoping it will set us free, just to realize on the fumes we’re choking.
Because if your marriage rests in anything but Jesus, it’s resting in something broken.

It’s why guys continually sacrifice their marriage on the altar of sex and lust.
I mean, if our dollars were honest, they’d say “In Pleasure We Trust.”

So men, grow up, put down the controller.
How about you lead her with grace, instead of trying to control her?

See, I’ve never been married, but I’m the product of one that was non-existent.
So don’t tell me I don’t understand the pain; don’t tell me I don’t get it.

So for the singles, become friends first before you ever become lovers,
Pursue Jesus as your foundation before you get under the covers. 

See, because a good friendship here will lead to a good marriage after.
Marriage isn’t just sex; it’s conversation and laughter. 

I mean, some spouses barely even like each other and the marriage seems like a dead end.
You might share a checkbook and a house, but are you actually friends?

I mean, if marriage isn’t a commitment, what’s the point of the vows we say? 
“Til death do us part” really means “til the feelings go away.” 

Like, “Yeah, I’ll love ‘em, but only until my love shifts.”
But I say, imagine if you took that perspective with your kids. 

Like, can’t you see it? The minute a kid spills something on the floor,
The parent going, “Forget it, I’m outta here, I don’t even love you anymore.”

It’s just like marriage: to last, you need the strength from above.
It’s not the love that sustains the promise; it’s the promise that sustains the love.

Out of anyone, who’s actually had the right to leave?
God had every reason in the world, yet he still came for you and me, 

On the cross, bore our shame, took our sin, and set us free.
When he could have called down legions of angels, he chose to stay on that tree.

And he looks you in the eye and says, “I’m taking this for my bride.
Because of me, you no longer have to hide.
It is finished. You’ve been made new.
You’re perfect. You’re spotless. There’s no sin in you.”

See, his death was a proposal; he wanted you no matter the cost.
Where some guys propose on their knee, Jesus proposed on a cross.

So read Ephesians 5, whether husband or wife.
Wives, honor your husband. Husbands, give up your life. 

Like Jesus gave his life up for his bride, the church,
Some men lead by serving, by putting her first.

Lastly, both die to self, put your flesh on a life sentence,
Because you don’t fall out of love as much as you fall out of repentance.