Women and Femininity
Proverbs

We had a good week. My wife gave birth to our third child. She’s doing great. My son, Calvin Martin –

(Applause)

− if he’s an Arminian, it’s not my fault. He’s good, so we’re very happy. He sleeps two hours, and eats, and sleeps two hours, and eats. So, I’m coveting his life, but it’s going well for him.

(Laughter)

Let’s see. We’re gonna have a good time today ladies. At least I will.

(Laughter)

It’s just like going to t he dentist. It’s good for you, but you’re not necessarily looking forward to it. I’ll pray and then we will get busy.

Father God, thank you for a chance to get together and to study the Scriptures. God, we thank you that you are our Father. That you have taken note of our condition in sin and death, and that you have put together a plan to redeem us, and to save us, and to love us, and to heal us, and to adopt us into your family as your kids. Lord Jesus, we thank you that you have come for us, and died for us, and risen for us. And, Holy Spirit, we thank you that you have inspired your children to write the Scriptures. That you have caused them to be translated and handed off to us through your servants. We thank you, Holy Spirit, that we have a copy of the Bible to read for ourselves and study. We also thank you that we are literate people and that, in addition to that, you dwell within us, and that you teach us, and lead us, and guide us, and convict us, and use the Scriptures to reveal Christ so that we would love him and glorify the Father as we worship him.

And so, God, we come to you and we thank you for all your various ministries to us, and we open the Scriptures, and our hearts, and our minds, and our lives. In Christ’s name, Amen.

We have been going through the Book of Proverbs, and we did a series on the men. Now, we’re doing a four part series on the women. And the first thing we’re gonna deal with this week is a Biblical femininity. Everything I say today is highly controversial. Everything, to some, will be tremendously offensive. I would just ask that you would go with me. Give me an hour of your life, maybe a bit more, and we’ll think through these things and hear my argument in sum.

I’ll begin in Genesis, the book of beginnings, by telling you about God. The Scripture is clear that there is one God. The Scripture is clear that there is one God and that this God exists as three persons – Father, Son and Spirit. We see this is Genesis where God, the Father, speaks. Jesus Christ is the Word of God, the agent of creation. And the Holy Spirit hovers above the water, bringing order out of chaos. I’ll give you another example. In Ephesians 1:3-14, the Apostle Paul lays out the plan of salvation. He says that God, the Father, predestined us before the foundations of the earth to belong to him. That Jesus Christ came and died for our sins and rose from death. And that the Holy Spirit indwells and lives in the children of God. And so, what we see is that there is one God. Deuteronomy 6:4, “Hear, oh Israel, the Lord our God, he is one.” There is one God – Father Son and Spirit – and they are absolutely equal in every way, sharing all attributes and qualities, yet there is a difference of role and function between them. God, the Father, does not die on the cross. The Holy Spirit is not birthed out of the womb of Mary. There is a difference between the Father, Son, and Spirit. And they have particular functions that they accomplish, but they are, in a very real sense, in every real sense, one. There is only one God.

And so, it is possible for there to be difference, yet equality, and oneness, even though there are more than one persons. What is true, and God’s image is true in the image of the man and the woman, that as God is one, the man and the woman, in marriage, are supposed to echad, one, Genesis says. They are to be one as God is one.

Now, when you get that picture of God, then you go through Genesis and you realize that the man and the woman were created in the image and likeness of God. That men and women are a shadow of God’s nature, God’s existence. We are not little Gods, but we reflect some of the attributes of God. We have the possibility of showing a little bit of what God is like. And what we see, then, is in the Trinity, there is a difference. And between men and women, there is a difference. That difference does not mean that they are unequal. Our culture really struggles with it. They can’t understand how people could be different and still equal, but in God they are.

The Father, Son and Spirit are equal, but they are different, and they are one. In the same way, a man and a woman are different, though they are equal, and in marriage covenant, they become one. What we see, then, in Genesis is that God creates the male and female and that makes them equal. A woman does not need to be able to carry a fire hose up a ladder as well as a man to be equal to him. She does not need to be as skilled in hand to hand combat as a man to be equal to him. Likewise, a man does not need to give birth to children to be equal to a woman. Praise the Lord.

(Laughter)

And so, what happens is that there is supposed to be different domains. Okay, for the woman, she is given – she is the essence of our focus today – she is given some roles in Genesis at creation before sin. One, not necessarily in any order, she is to be a mother. We are told that they are to be fruitful, multiply, increase in number, fill the earth, and subdue it. Build a God glorifying culture through the bearing of children that perpetuate the love of God globally and generationally. And so, a woman is supposed to have children, multiply, but fruitful children, not just a lot of children, but children that are fruitful. That means that they love God, and they fear God, and they serve God, and they participate in glorifying God on the earth. So, one of her duties is as mother.

Another of her duties is as wife. We’re told in Genesis that for Adam, no suitable helper was found after he had named the animals and so, God created for him this beautiful woman to be his bride. And she was taken from his side. That is because she does not belong in front of him in domination or behind him in denigration; she belongs as an equal and as a helper, right along side of him. That she is the other half of him, very literally. And in the sexual union, the two become one flesh. What was taken from the man reunites with the man. And so, her additional duty, then, is as wife. And it’s a high and noble calling. And some have denigrated that role because we are told that she is the helper of the man. In Genesis, we are told that she is called to be the helper. Helper is, in no way, a denigrating term. In Psalms and in Hebrews, God is called our helper. In addition, we are told by the Lord Jesus in the Gospel of John that when he departed, he would send the Holy Spirit, and the name for the Holy Spirit there is the helper. The Holy Spirit helps us. So, when anybody says, “Oh, the Bible teaches that women are weak and that women are incapable, and that women are a burden, or that women are second class”, they, obviously, don’t understand their doctrine of the Holy Spirit.

We would never look at the Holy Spirit and say, “Oh, yeah, he’s the weak, passive, incapable, fruitless member of the Godhead.”

(Laughter)

Nothing gets done without the Holy Spirit. And as the man is to be like Christ, so the woman is to be like the Holy Spirit. And as the man honors and serves the Lord, as Christ did, the woman is supposed to be like the Holy Spirit, and help him in those things that are assigned to them as a family. So far, so good. So, ladies, don’t – when you hear the word “helper”, don’t think it a denigrating term.

And I’ll ask you something, too. Is it not true that most women, even women that are strongly feministic and disagree with everything I’m going to say today, they don’t usually gravitate toward careers that are helpful in nature? They do. Women gravitate toward jobs and careers where they can be helpful. And even if a man and a woman do the same job, if you, often times, ask them why, one of the greatest motivators for the woman to do that job is because she’s being helpful. Most women gain a tremendous amount of satisfaction from building, nurturing, cultivating and being helpful because God made them that way. That’s not a bad thing. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m sure Adam was glad to get a helpful wife. I was very glad to get a helpful wife.

So, wife and mother. In addition, she is to be a daughter of God. That God creates her. God is her Father. And God takes her and literally walks her down the aisle at her wedding and gives her away to Adam, whom he has chosen to be her husband. And so, a woman is to be a wife, and a mother, and a daughter of God. She is to love God. And submit to God. And God is her Father, and God cares for her, and she cares for him.

And lastly, she is to be a sexual woman. You see this in the Song of Solomon where the woman does the majority of the speaking. She does a lot of sexual initiating. She is very free and liberated because she loves God and she’s married. This whole naïve notion that sexuality is something that is beautiful when it is forbidden is a lie. A woman who is married and in a loving, covenantal relationship, should be sexually liberated and free with her body to give it to her husband. And we see that in Genesis 2:24-25 where it says that, “They were naked and without shame.” And so, those are the initial seedlings of the identity of the woman in Genesis. Wife, mother, Christian, lover. That’s who she is.

What happens, though, in Genesis 3 is that Satan comes as a serpent. Revelation 12:2 and Revelation 20, I think it’s verse 1 or 2, says that this serpent is Satan. That Satan comes to the woman and he lies to her. He contorts what God has said and he tells her something that is not true. He tells her that it would be better if she were an individual. If she were independent. If she were autonomous. That if she separated herself from God, and if she separated herself from her husband, then she would be free. He tells her that she can be like God, knowing good and evil. She can make her own decisions. She can figure out her own life. She can determine how the world is supposed to run. And the woman believes that and she sins against the Lord and in so doing, she separates herself from God and she separates herself from her husband. They hide – the husband and wife hide from each other and they hide from God, which is indication that her sin has made her independent, but not good independence.

We tend to think in this culture as independence as exclusively a good thing. When a husband and a wife are running from each other, and running from God, they are independent, but that is not good. That is a bad independence. That is a destructive independence. It is a lie that they are actually free. In the same way, as a Father, if my children run away from home, they’re not free. They’re in danger. A man who runs away from his wife and his family, Proverbs says, “Like a bird strays from its nest, is a man who strays from his home.” A man who runs away from his wife and children, he’s not free. He’s in danger; likewise, with his wife. And they sin, and they separate themselves from God and one another, and what we are told, then, is that God comes in, and God pronounces a curse upon Satan. He tells Satan, Genesis 3:15, that, “Jesus will come, will crush his head”, though he will do physical bodily injury to Jesus and strike his heel, and that Jesus will make up for all that Adam has lost.

In addition, there’s a curse placed upon the man and a curse placed upon the woman, but they are different curses because they have different domains that they work in. The woman’s primary domain is homeward; and the man’s primary domain is toward the marketplace. And so, God curses the man in regards to his marketplace, in regards to his work. Paul says in the New Testament, “If a man does not provide for the needs of his family, he is denied the faith and he is worse than an unbeliever.” A man’s job is to work hard, and make money, and provide for his family. God then curses the ground beneath him. The man is not cursed, but the ground is. What that means is for every man, it is hard to make enough money to buy a house, marry a woman, raise some kids, and pay your bills. Amen.

(Laughter)

It is hard. There is no shortcut. For a woman, that means her curse is related to her homeward orientation and it relates primarily to her children and to her marriage. Genesis tells us then that she will birth children with great pain. Is that true?

Response: Yeah.

My wife gave birth last week. We bring in the anesthesiologist, which is basically the legal drug dealer.

(Laughter)

Because we need him.

(Laughter)

It is a painful task. Any woman who has birthed a child can tell you that is work. That’s why when you see women sitting around talking about their birth, and then you go down to the VFW hall and you see all the veterans talking about their war, it’s really the same conversation.

(Laughter)

Twenty-four hours in the trenches. Just about cost me my life. I got a scar. You wanna see it?

(Laughter)

I mean, it’s the same thing.

(Laughter)

Women preparing for birth are a people preparing for battle. It is work because of the curse. In addition, she is cursed in regards to her husband. Her desire is to rule over him. Ladies are saying, “No, no, no, we’re just trying to help.” No, don’t fool yourself.

(Laughter)

You’re trying to rule over him. It says in Genesis that, “She desires to rule over him.” In Genesis 4, the next chapter, it uses the exact same language to talk about in Chapter 4:7 of Genesis how sin wanted to master Cain so that he would kill his brother Abel. In the same way, the woman wants to master her husband and rule over him as sin did Cain. That’s how we got gender wars. That’s how we got feminism and chauvinism. That’s how we got conflict between men and women. Adam was a silent, passive coward who stood there while the enemy lied. Didn’t do anything. Genesis 3:6 says that Eve grabbed the fruit and handed it to Adam who was there with her, hands in his pocket, doing nothing. And now, he is – his ground is cursed and now she will experience pain and childbirth and she will have a very hard time trusting a man because he has not been helpful. He has fallen down on his duties and that makes her vulnerable. What Paul tells us on two occasions in the New Testament is that Eve was deceived. I think it’s 1 Timothy 2 and 2 Corinthians 11. I think it’s in your notes.

What that means is that Eve meant well. She didn’t mean to ruin the world. She didn’t mean to cause every woman to have a painful birth. She had noble, good intentions. She was trying to help. She was trying to help. Okay, ladies, this is important. Some women sin obviously. Some women sin with good intentions. And you can think of women who really thought they were helping, but, in truth, they were just creating more conflict and difficulty in their marriage or in their life. And so, ladies, a lot of you could, potentially, and are likely in the same position as Eve. John 8 tells us that Satan is a liar. The father of lies. That’s his native language. He’s been lying since the beginning. Paul also tells us that Eve was deceived by his lies. I will tell you that Paul also tells us in 1 Corinthians that, “The world and its wisdom does not know God.” That this world has a lot of lies. A lot of deceptive teaching and false instruction that is contrary to the Scriptures and most Christian women do not even know that they are believing things that are not true and not in their Bible. And they are deceived into thinking that they’re being helpful by believing things that aren’t true.

So, for the women, here’s what I am saying. I am not saying that you are intentionally, necessarily, doing things that are wrong, but you still likely are with good motives. But, good motives, in and of themselves, are not enough to produce holiness and righteousness. It takes good motives, plus Biblical wisdom so that you know what you’re doing.

Here are some of the lies that are very prevalent. I’m gonna go through a number of them. This’ll take me a while. I’ll say one other thing before I do. The woman’s domain is homeward. The man’s domain is marketplace. In our culture, which is more valued? Home or market? Market. In the Bible, which is more valued, home or market? Home. I’ll get into that next week. Next – when I say homeward, a lot of the women are thinking, “Oh, you’re just gonna chain me to the sink and make me do dishes for the next 50 years. Well, yes and no. We’re gonna have you do more than that.

(Laughter)

There’s a lot more in home building than just chores and tasks, though they are part of the homeward orientation. Next week, I’m gonna do a whole sermon on what the Bible means when it uses the word home, and home building, and homeward orientation. But, in our culture, market is valued greatly. Home is valued very minimally. That’s why we have enormous divorce. Forty percent of kids tonight will go to bed without a father. A lot of women are divorced and left with little money and thrown into poverty. That’s why we have, you know, free and reduced lunches for kids and now breakfast in elementary school and after school programs – because no one is looking after the home and the marketplace is dominating in our culture and it shows. We have a complete social collapse because of that.

But, let me ask you this. What the feminist movement is arguing for is an equality between men and women. And what they mean by that is that a woman would work as many hours as a man and a man would do as many household tasks as a woman, which never happens. It never happens because men don’t care. That’s why a single woman who goes to a man’s house where he’s rooming with a number of other men will never use his bathroom.

(Laughter)

She won’t go near it. It’s like a lab experiment gone south.

(Laughter)

It’s like biological warfare in the home. Men are not naturally gravitated toward a homeward orientation and women, only when pushed because they greatly value the opinions of other women, do not naturally gravitate toward the marketplace. But, if a man really wants to be homeward and a woman really wants to be marketplace in her orientation, there’s a word that the Scriptures use when you want to have something that someone has. Be something that someone is. And do something that someone is. What is that? That’s called coveting. So, just chuck this whole nonsense of equality and just insert a good Biblical word called coveting. Women who covet what God has made men to do, and men who covet what God has made women to do. That’s coveting. It’s a discontented spirit in nature.

And it’s this myth that, oh, if – women think, “If I were at work all day or if I were a man, my life would be better” and the guys have the same myth. “Oh, if I could stay home with the children, then I would be happy.” No, they’re both difficult. Remember, God has cursed both domains. There is not an easy one. There is not an easy job. There are not sinless children. Neither is possible. And so, within that, I wanna just break these illusions and for you to see that the Bible does not say, “Oh, the marketplace is important and the home is nothing.” That there are different domains and God has created men and women and oriented them toward the building of those two domains in harmony and unison. And one without the other is worthless. A great, tidy home with no money is not going to succeed. A lot of money with no wisdom, planning and managing, is not going to be a fruitful home. You need both. It’s not good and bad. It’s left hand, right hand, and harmony.

Here are some of the deceptive lies, though, that undermine that understanding. The first is regarding gender. How many of you were told in anthropological studies or sociological studies that there is no such thing as gender difference, but rather mere cultural conditioning. There’s no men and women. The culture just makes us male and female. And here’s my chicken/egg question I always have is who made the culture? Did culture drop out of the – no, men and women made the culture. And so, if the culture reflects masculinity and femininity, don’t blame it on the culture. That’s just a reflection of creation. And they will tell you, the strong gender neutral instructors, that there is no men. There’s no women. And you’ll see what happens. It automatically goes feminism, homosexuality because is there are no men and no women, then why can’t a woman love a woman and why can’t a man love a man? If there’s no gender, there’s no normative sexuality either.

The next thing we will see in our lifetime is polygamy make a return because what if I love a man and a woman? Can’t we be a family, the eight of us? Watch. It’ll be here. It’ll be here soon. It’s already underneath the radar, but there’s a push. The Scripture says, “We’re created male and female.” Boys and girls are different. Men and women are different. Which ones good? No, equal. Image in likeness of God. If anyone here is a parent and they have a son and a daughter, every day you see this as truth. They’re different. Not good and bad. Different. I’ve got a son. I’ve got a daughter. I don’t even think they inhabit the same planet.

(Laughter)

My daughter is beautiful, and wonderful, and glorious; and my son carries a sword everywhere he goes.

(Laughter)

We went to the doctor’s office yesterday and he takes a sword with him. The doctor says, “Why does he have his sword?” and he says, “To kill bad guys.”

(Laughter)

Just in case. You never know when there’s gonna be a bad guy you gotta kill. So, he’s always packing a weapon anywhere he goes.

(Laughter)

My daughter never packed a weapon.

(Laughter)

Just different. My son chops wood with me. My son eats a lot of meat.

(Laughter)

It’s just – they’re different. I love ‘em both. They’re beautiful. They’re different. Biologically, chemically, hormonally, spiritually, boy and girl.

How about this one? To be equal, men and women must be the same. Here’s a nasty little secret. Do men wanna be just like women? Men, do you wanna be just like a woman?

Response: No.

No.

(Laughter)

For the love of God, no.

(Laughter)

I don’t wanna shave my legs. I don’t look – no, I just – there’s certain things I just don’t covet.

(Laughter)

Would you say that it is more likely for women to covet the role of a man than it is for a man to covet the role of a woman?

Response: Yes.

Yes. Why? Because men are the heads and women want the approval of men. And so, they wanna make as much money as a man to earn his approval, or men in general. Or they wanna excel at it. They want approval. This whole new – it’s just funny to me. That’s why, I was listening this week to – I don’t usually don’t listen to top 40 music but, for some reason, I don’t know, I got penalized by God for something I did or something, and I was listening to top 40 music.

(Laughter)

And a lot of the R & B that’s coming out from the young female artists is about, “I make my own money. I drive my own car. I pay my own bills. My love is free. And I’m no burden to you. I’m equal to you. Do you respect me?” You don’t hear guys singing that at all. There is this myth that men and women must be exactly alike to be equal. Now, what that means is the men are not trying to be women, but the women are trying to be like men and earn their approval. I’ll tell you this, ladies. You have nothing to prove. God made you in his image and likeness. That’s it. That’s your – your identity comes in God creating you and Christ redeeming you. You don’t have to prove anything. It’s like Eve. When Satan comes, she didn’t need to get into the argument. She could have just walked a way. She has nothing to prove.

Here’s another lie that’s been told. That the traditional woman is a Biblical woman. So, when I talk about home building, being a wife, being a mother, these sort of things, a lot of women automatically, and men automatically assume, “Oh, that’s traditional values. He’s arguing for traditional. Well, we live in a contemporary society. Those values are outdated. I’m not saying that women should be traditional. I’m saying they should be Biblical. And there are some things in the traditional woman that may look a little bit like a Biblical woman. Well, you can’t just chuck those things because they are from yesterday. Some people say, “Oh, well, we live in a more advanced society.” Do we? Do we? Most Americans own a gun and have numerous locks on their door. I don’t know if I believe in evolution. I believe in devolution. You know, 15, 20 years, we’ll be monkeys.

(Laughter)

I don’t think the world’s a better place. Here’s another one. Women should be tougher and men should be softer. So, women have gotta be tough and fight for their rights and hold their ground and men, they’ve gotta be more tender. Get in touch with their feminine side. Men don’t have a feminine side.

(Laughter)

They’re men. Dogs don’t have a cat side.

(Laughter)

Things to think about. Women are an oppressed minority group. Have you heard that? Let me ask you a few questions. I’ll ask you three questions. Are there more men or women in this country? More men or more women?

Response: Women.

There’s more women, but they’re the minority. Just think about that. That’s sort of bizarre. Now, do women live longer or shorter lives than men?

Response: Longer.

Longer, so they have a higher quality of life. Are more women or men registered to vote? Women. So, more women vote and control the government. More women exist. And more women live longer, but they’re the minority. Now, I went to public school and I’m smart enough to figure this out.

(Laughter)

And here’s my favorite. Women’s groups have the right to speak on behalf of all women. There’s these women’s organizations, like the National Organization for Women, that speak for all the women. Now, let me ask you ladies, did you get together and vote them in? Did we – how did we get them? Is there a – I mean, if I did a national organization for men, that would be called sexist, and chauvinistic, and domineering, especially if I didn’t take a vote. And so, what happens is, you have these organizations who get quoted in all the newspapers, and they right an academia, and they file legal briefs, and they’re on CNN with their high-powered, ivy league degrees talking about being oppressed, as they’ve got their PhD and their law practice and they’re on CNN talking about their oppression, which is better than we’ve got. Never been on CNN? Most of us aren’t going to have an Ivy League education.

And what happens then is you can’t criticize anything that they say because that would be discriminatory because they speak for all the women. Do they? Do they? Who said they did? Who gave them the right to take over literature and sociology and gender studies departments in universities? Who gave them the right to take over media? Who gave them the right to speak? Because what they end up doing is they end up systematically attacking and undermining the role of the wife and the mother ‘cause their goal is to get women completely independent from their husband and their children. And they’re picking on women who don’t have legal organizations. Who’s the – what’s the organization that speaks for mom. Where’s mom’s platform to defend her case? When does mom get to go on CNN? Well, she doesn’t. She’s just mom. She doesn’t know anything. She’s not a PhD candidate. She’s not filing legal briefs. She doesn’t have a platform. She’s just mom. And so, we attack mom by groups who claim to speak for all women, but they’re not speaking for mom. Mom’s got other things to do.

A few others regarding work. The workplace is more important than the home. And here’s the funny part. You know, women need to go out to work and then that’ll build a stronger economy, but what has it done to the future generations? It’s burdened the economy. Now, you pay more taxes for social services. More taxes for delinquency. More taxes for crime. More taxes for therapy. More taxes for medication. Do you know that now there are more children going into emergency rooms in Seattle for mental health than physical injury? More kids walking into the emergency room for mental health than physical health. We love the marketplace. We denigrate the home.

A woman does not have a career or a true ministry unless she works outside of her home. That’s another one. “Oh, it’s – oh, you can’t go back to work after that you had that kid? That’s too bad.” “Every family needs two incomes to have a decent life.” That’s a huge lie of the market economy. I showed you a few weeks ago, when mom goes to work, between the tax bracket, the travel, the related expenses, and the childcare, unless she’s making over $60,000.00 a year on an average, she is netting zero. You say, “Well, I wanna contribute financially.” We’ll get into that in Proverbs 31. Learn how to invest. Have your money work for you. Don’t just go work for money. There’s wisdom.

Being a housewife is an outdated and degradating career. We don’t even consider that a career. “What’s your job?” “My job is I’m a wife and a mother.” “Oh, housewife.” Do you know in 1968, they took a Gallup poll. The majority of American women who are young and single wanted to have four children, be married and stay home with their kids. It was a high honor. One generation, two generations later, it flips. “Oh, you had a kid. That’s too bad. Sorry about that. You got married? Ughhh. Well, that’s really gonna hurt your job performance. You sure you’re gonna be able to keep this job if you’re married? You won’t be able to travel. You won’t be able to work as many hours. That’s too bad you got married.”

Here’s another one – that teaching the domestics will do a disservice to women. How many of you, when you were in school, had classes called home economics? Right? Nobody under 30 raised their hand that I can see. Maybe one or two. We used to have a class called home economics, which taught you things like making a budget, organizing a home. We don’t value those things at all. Most people don’t even know how to manage their home. Budgeting, what’s that? Saving, investing, tithing, what’s that? Child rearing, diet, nutrition, health, what’s that? I mean, the job is most important, right?

Regarding sexuality, here’s the big one ladies. Who owns your body? Who owns your body? Is that your body? See, that’s the big lie. If you wanna have sex, it’s your body. You do what you want. You wanna have an abortion? It’s your body. You do what you want. It’s your body. Really? Who made that body? Well, God made that body. For what reason? For his Spirit to dwell in so you could offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable as your spiritual act of worship. Your body belongs to God. Paul says, “You’ve been bought with a price, therefore, honor God with your body.” It’s God’s body.

If there’s a young woman, it is supposed to be Biblically that the body of hers is under the jurisdiction of her father. Deuteronomy 22. If she goes out and commits adultery, they put her to death where? The steps of her father’s home. Why? That was his responsibility. It’s the responsibility of a father not to raise a daughter who is independent and goes out, and let’s boys put their hands all over her. It is his job to cause her to be strong by protecting her from wicked men who have evil intentions of abusing her. You wonder why they say statistically that one out of three women in this generation was sexually abused. And that, perhaps, more – a higher percentage than that will be raped at some point in their lifetime. It’s because men have been told that it is a woman’s body and it is not their responsibility, and they have no obligation to that woman’s body. So, they could do whatever they want with it, and they do.

And so, if a woman gets pregnant, she can terminate that pregnancy. She can abort that child for any reason. It’s her body. I’ll tell you something that’s really weird, though, legally in our culture. If a woman is pregnant, and she has an abortion, that’s completely permissible for any and all reasons. If she’s pregnant, and I walk up and I punch her in the stomach, and she miscarries, do I go to jail for murder? I do. Now, why is that? If that’s not a child, how could I have committed murder, if that’s not a child? They say, “Well, that’s her body. She does whatever she wants.” So, even the child living in the womb has no right to any legal jurisdiction over the woman’s body. It’s insane, isn’t it?

When you get married, ladies, who does your body belong to? 1 Corinthians 7 says when you get married, you give your body to your husband and it belongs to him and his body belongs to you. Every man is happy to make that deal.

(Laughter)

“I’ll trade ‘ya.” “Fine.”

(Laughter)

So, ladies, before you’re married, your body, still, is going to be something you were to give to your husband if you were single. It’s not yours. It’s a gift that you were supposed to steward. Out of this wrong thinking, it is told to us that women should be as sexually promiscuous as men. “Well, men are free. And men are sexual. And men are liberated. And men get to go out and just sleep around. Women need to be equal.” Yes, they need to be as reprobate as men. They need to be as sick, and disgusting, as vile as men. Let’s be equal. There’s equality that is bad. I don’t wanna be equal to a child molester. I do not wanna be equal to a murderer. I do not wanna be equal to an adulterer. I want them to repent and walk with Christ, but I don’t wanna go down and be equal with them. God can forgive all sins, certainly. But, when we tell women to be equal to men, you must descend to their most base level. That is not wisdom.

And so, today, if a woman is a virgin and she’s dating a man for more than a month, everyone wonders what is wrong with her if she hasn’t been to bed with him. “You haven’t slept with him?” “No.” “Are you gonna sleep with him?” “Not ‘til we’re married.” “Well, what’s wrong?” “Well, nothing’s wrong. We’re not married.” “What’s that got – you’re gonna get married? Why are you getting married? Why can’t you just live together? Why can’t you just sleep together? I mean, gosh, keep your independence.” And so, women become sexually disgusting like men. The fastest growing market of the porn industry right now is women. They’re buying the stuff, trying to equal men in their depravity. And it’s – you know, the first cover of Playboy Magazine, it was a threshold of lowness in our culture, but it had Marilyn Monroe and she was the quintessential embodiment of a man and a woman’s desires. For the women, there was a woman who was free. Her body is her own. She doesn’t have to answer to anyone. She’s rich. She does whatever she wants. She’s liberated. And for the men, there’s a naked woman you don’t have to marry to see. It just appealed to the baseness of both genders under the guise of equality.

Another one is that heterosexuality is less satisfying for women sexually and emotionally. So, the big deal now is to push women towards lesbianism or at least toward bisexuality.

And lastly, pornography is exploding in spite of feminism. I remember when I was in college that I took a – my first women’s studies class and they were railing on pornography saying, “Pornography denigrates women and it robs women of their honor, and it’s wrong, and it’s violent, and it’s sick.” And I thought, “Yeah, but you’ve just created the world that causes it to flourish.” Tell a man, “You don’t need to marry a woman. You can have sex with her. Use birth control. If she gets pregnant, have an abortion. If you get married, don’t worry. When she’s 50, you can trade her in for 2 25 year olds ‘cause we’ve created no fault divorce, and you can just get out.” And then you wonder, “I wonder why guys are treating women like objects? I wonder why?” Maybe because they don’t believe they have any responsibility to love them, and to enter into covenants with them, and to value them? Because now, we have told the men, “Treat the ladies like men.” And we treat ‘em like men. Men, for the most part, are not very pleasant to one another, and now that women are equal, we get to be unpleasant to them as well. It’s pretty sick.

How about this one? Regarding marriage, women should never be financially dependent upon men. I spoke with a woman not too long ago. She says, “I’m going to college.” I said, “Well, that’s great.” I said, “Why are you going to college?” She says, “Are you saying I shouldn’t go to college?” “No, not at all. I’m just asking why?” She says, “Well, I need to get a good career because someday, if my husband leaves me, I need to be able to take care of myself.” “Really? So, your goal is to get your divorce worked out before you’re engagement?” Is it a sin for a woman to have skill? No. Is it a sin for a woman to know how to make money? No. Is it a sin for a woman to get educated? No. Is it a sin for a woman to prepare for her divorce before she’s even engaged? That’s a problem.

You don’t have to raise your hand, but a lot of you ladies were told that. “Don’t get married young. Don’t get married until you establish your career. He’ll probably leave you. You need to be able to take care of yourself.” That’s your mother’s voice, isn’t it? So, how sick is that? And I’ll tell ‘ya what. That thinking fuels more divorce. “Oh, you’re an independent person. You can make your own money. You got your own life. Good. You don’t need me. Fine. I’m out.” Men like to be necessary and if a woman has no need for him, he will leave. You ladies every wonder why guys are attracted to women who are really needy? It’s ‘cause men like to be needed. They like to be vital. They like to be participated, and if you leave no room for them, they will check out.

No fault divorce frees women to be independent. That was one of the great legal strategies to unbind women and men from marriage. You can get a divorce now for any reason. No problem. And the myth was, “Oh, see this’ll liberate women to be free. That won’t be shackled to the home.” Betty Friedan, she wrote The Feminine Mystique. It was kind of the magnum opus of the feminist movement. She called the home the prison that women are shackled to and now divorce will enable them to get out of their marriage, and get out of their home, and go back to the marketplace and liberate them. Let me ask you this. Has divorce helped women? A woman gets married, has two kids. The guy decides he doesn’t wanna be in it anymore, so he just – he gets out of the marriage and leaves her with the children.

Usually, at this point, I’ll tell you what happens. She wants custody of the children so bad that she’s willing to forego a lot of the financial recompense in order to keep the children. So, he uses the children as leverage against her and, basically, says, “Look, either you give me minimal monthly support responsibilities or I’m going to argue for custody of the children.” And she says, “I don’t wanna lose my kids”, so she just gets a few hundred dollars a month in child alimony. We say, “Oh, look at that. We’ve liberated women. Good, they’re free now.” Statistically, then, they’re in poverty. And the man’s income and his household wealth goes up, depending upon your statistics, between 27 and 40 percent and the woman’s decreases by an equal amount. And he takes his money and he goes off and chases other women. And she is trying to juggle the curse of providing and the curse of raising them, those children, and building her home. And she has a double burden and we call her liberated and free. Isn’t that nice of us? What a bunch of great guys.

Last one. Household duties should be divided equally between the man and the woman, like roommates. You ever heard of the 50/50 deal? I read Genesis to Revelation more than once. I’ve never seen the 50/50 deal. I’ve never seen a verse that said, “Women have to make half the money, and men need to do half the household chores.” Never saw that. I see different domains, but I don’t see where, necessarily, each person needs to carry half of the load in each domain. That’s why when women are working full time, they’re perpetually frustrated because their house is not in order and they get angry at their husband ‘cause he’s not keeping up his half of the responsibility. It’s not a surprise.

I’ll let you in on a secret, ladies. Guys are different. That’s why you go – guys won’t even do the dishes ‘til all the dishes are dirty.

(Laughter)

That’s why you walk in, you’ll see a guy eating cereal out of a frying pan with a measuring spoon.

(Laughter)

“We still have dishes. There’s no need to clean ‘em. We have dishes.” And you go pick up the women’s magazines and it’s trying to teach women how they can go out and work 60, 80 hours a week, still be a tremendous mother, and have their household look like Martha Stewart’s. It’s not possible. It’s not to be divided 50/50. Again, Paul, “If a man does not provide for the needs of his family, he has denied the faith and he is worse than an unbeliever. What it is, is soft men that say, “Honey, my curse is so heavy. Come on out here to the marketplace and help me carry half of it.” The whole while she’s like, “Well, I got kids and I’m your wife, and that’s my own burden. What about me? You’re not helping me here? You want me go help you, but you’re not" – and that’s where the fight comes in on the marriage. I’ve had this with more than one couple where the wife is working more than the husband and she gets all upset because he’s not doing the chores and keeping up with his half of the responsibilities and I look at the guy and I always tell him, “Well, here’s your problem. You’re a really bad wife.”

(Laughter)

You know, and his head spins around and they realize, “Yeah, that’s the truth.” You need a husband, you need a wife, and she’s trying to be the husband and the wife, and she’s frustrated with that. And he just says, “Hey, baby, we’re equal.”

Here’s some myths regarding motherhood. Professionals can better raise children than moms. I don’t know where we got this. It causes women to second guess their instincts ‘cause Dr. so and so with the latest book says, “Don’t discipline your kids. You’ll ruin their self esteem.” “Well, who the pick is Dr. so and so?”

(Laughter)

“Well, he’s got a degree.” “I got kids. I’m a mother.”

(Laughter)

“I win.”

(Laughter)

It’s bizarre. This whole culture came about that said professionals can do a better job raising kids, so let’s cause daycare and nannies. And let’s cause all these other things to raise our kids by professionals. You wonder why they’re demons. We’ll get into this when we get into child rearing. God, I believe, gives mothers natural instincts and the discernment of the Holy Spirit and mom is always better than the professional. Always better. No one is going to do a better job parenting, mothering the child than mom. I don’t care if you have more degrees than Fahrenheit. Mom is still better.

(Laughter)

And how we got to this, I don’t know. So, the professionals, then, in order to sell more books and do more symposiums, and more forums, and get on more TV shows, they create new parenting strategies. Here’s the latest thing. And so, what ends up happening then, is mom second guesses all of her instincts. I’ll tell you what ladies. Read your Bible and go with the leading of the Holy Spirit. You’ll be a good mom. You do a better job than a professional. And see, that whole myth was, again, trying to unhook the woman from her children, and her husband, and her home, and to give her an apologetic so that she could leave them ‘cause now they’re in better care. And you read the women’s magazines, Ms. Working Woman, there are a parade of articles about women who still feel guilty and don’t believe that. And they’re struggling.

Children are a burden and they limit the freedom and independence of a woman. Children are a great burden. That’s why you’ll hear certain young women. They’ll get pregnant and they won’t say, “Hey, the Lord has blessed me with a child.” They’ll say things like, “I think I’m pregnant.” Like, “I think I have cancer”, as if it was this tremendous devastation that just ruined their life. And being a wife and mother is a great sacrifice. It is work, but most women tend to find it very enjoyable. And schools and daycares should extend their hours of services to free career women for more work. Well, we send ‘em to public school. That wasn’t enough. “What we need now is we need a breakfast program because, after all, we don’t have time to feed ‘em breakfast.” “Well, now we’re gonna need an after school program too. So, let’s drop ‘em off at 7:00 and let’s pick ‘em up at 5:00 or 6:00. And let’s go to a year round school ‘cause we don’t have the summers to, you know, play little league and go swimming with our kids. Let’s go to 12 month school from 7:00 a.m. ‘til 5:00 p.m., or 6:00 p.m., or 7:00 p.m. And it’s not problem because what we’ll do is, once a month, we’ll schedule two hours of quality time and we’ll make up for it. And we’ll spoil those kids rotten and wonder why they are such delinquents.”

The last one. Here’s my favorite. Men who support these things love women. See, a lot of you sitting there and you’re saying, “Mark, you’re a chauvinist pig. You hate women. You’re a misogynist. You’re not like those good men who have sex with women they’re not married to and tell them they love them to get them into bed and they’re lying to them. You’re not like those good men who put on birth control because the last thing you would ever want is to be legally obligated to you.” I’m not – you know, I’m not as good as those men who have sex with you and then when you get pregnant, offer to pay for the abortion. After all, those men really love women. They really love ‘em. They love ‘em so much they’ve got those women to declare war on their own womb. To declare war on their own role. To declare war on their own home. And the women do it because they want the affirmation of men.

And the naïve notion that the men who support these things love women has to be dispelled. It’s insane. As if a guy who, like Job 31:1 makes a covenant with his eyes not to look upon a woman lustfully. And he treats women like sisters. And he waits until he’s married. And he saves himself for his wife. And he loves her. And he makes money. And he wants to have children with her. And he wants her to love him. And to build a lifetime with – like that guy is an oppressor. Like that’s an evil man who’s ruining the world. It’s unbelievable.

Ladies, here’s some women in Proverbs. I’ll give you some things to think about. These are some really negative women in Proverbs. You’ll see these in our culture. The foolish woman, Proverbs 9:13-18. “The woman folly is loud, undisciplined, and without knowledge.” You put those together, that is a bad resume. Loud, undisciplined, without – this is a woman who thinks she knows what she’s talking about. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. But, she’s so loud that it almost is convincing. Some women think, if I yell, and scream, and chuck stuff, and declare war, and – Proverbs says that is just foolish. “She sits at the door of her house on the seat of the highest point of the city, calling out to those who pass by, who go straight on their way. ‘Let all who are simple come here’.” All the dumb people could come to my house for Bible study. “She says to those who lack judgment, ‘Let’s just sin’, she says. ‘Stolen water is sweet. Food eaten in secret is delicious’, but little do they know that the debtor there and that the guest of hers are in the depths of hell.” See, this woman has a home where she opens it up and she welcomes everyone over to listen to her ranting and raving. And if you open the door to her basement it’s Hell. And that’s where she takes you.

And some of you women care too much about the opinions of other women and when the woman folly shows up and says, “Hey, don’t get married. Hey, sleep with him. Hey, it’s not good to be a mother. Hey, you don’t need to depend on any income other than your own.” The woman folly is so loud that some of you give her more credence than she is due.

There’s also an embarrassing woman. Proverbs 11:22. “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Some of you ladies are beautiful and you know it. And you use it. And you get away with murder because you are beautiful and men will enable you to do and say embarrassing things because they’re hoping to take you to bed. And you think, “Oh, they really like me.” No. No. As soon as a man conquers a woman like that, he checks her off his list and moves on to the next one. But, some women are allowed to say things and do things and have character flaws that are embarrassing because they’re beautiful.

There’s also the sexually promiscuous or easy woman. The funny thing with this woman is sometimes she thinks that if she has sex with a man that he will love her, which is insane. If he loved her, he wouldn’t have sex with her until he had covenanted with her. And these are women who give themselves to men, hoping that one of them will stick. Proverbs 23:26-28, “My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways, for a prostitute is a deep pit and a wayward wife is a narrow well. Like a bandit, she lies in wait and she multiplies the unfaithful among men.” In Proverbs 29:3, “A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. Some women are like prostitutes. They are cheap. They are easy. They are quick. And for some reason, these women think that men appreciate them and like them. And you should be in on the conversations with these men when they are not in the presence of those women. They do not say nice things about those women. They do not esteem them and affirm them. They talk about how easy they were.

There’s also women who are very expensive. I’ve always told you, there’s two kinds of women. There’s Maryanne and Ginger.

(Laughter)

Go for Maryanne. Proverbs 31:3. “Do not spend your strength on women”, this mother tells her son. “Your vigor on those who ruin kings.” Some women love to play men for money. Some women – we have a term for ‘em. We call ‘em gold diggers. These are women who, they don’t care how old he is, what he looks – he could look like Chewbacca.

(Laughter)

He could be illiterate. But, if he has a lot of – he could be 175 years old, but if he has a lot of money, she loves him. She doesn’t love – she loves his credit card. These are women who play men for money. If they’re really beautiful, they’ll get a car, or a house, or some – lots of nights out, and new clothes, and fun vacations, and they’ll play men.

There’s also quarrelsome women. She’s not really quarrelsome, right ladies? She just has strong opinions. Proverbs 25:24. “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” We call that the pitch a tent club. Those are guys who go to REI looking for camping gear, not ‘cause they’re going in the woods, but because they’re going up on the roof. They’ve given up.

(Laughter)

They’re gonna put a ladder on the side of the house, climb up to the top, and then pull the ladder up.

(Laughter)

Proverbs 19:13. “A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” (Dripping sound).

(Laughter)

Going nuts yet? Fifty years of that, you will be. Some women, “Well, he just needs to know how I feel.” By looking at you, he can tell what you’re thinking. You don’t need to say it. He knows. He fully knows.

(Laughter)

The handgun gave it away.

(Laughter)

There’s also the moody woman. But, that’s okay, ladies. She’s not moody. There’s biological reasons for this. Proverbs 21:19-20. “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill tempered wife.” Moody. The guy walks in the door. Okay, he’s looking. “Which woman do I get tonight? Do I get the nice woman or do I get the wicked witch? Which one is home tonight? Oh, for the love of God. There she is. I’ll be at the pub.”

(Laughter)

Ill tempered. “She’s not ill tempered. She just has strong opinions and strong emotions. She’s Italian. Man, don’t be so hard on her.”

(Laughter)

You notice they always say that – “Oh, she’s Greek. Oh, she’s Irish. Oh, she’s got Latino blood.” It’s like –

(Laughter)

− no, she’s just moody.

(Laughter)

“In the house of the wise are stores of choice food, but a foolish man devours all he has.” The flirtatious woman. Now, this is the woman who, she maintains her femininity, but she abuses it. She’s like gravity. She just pulls men in. You ladies know what these women are like, right? These are the women, when they walk in the room, every guy (whistling), just radar. Just hones in on her. She has found a way to just be like gravity and attract all attention to her. And the guys never see – the guys are always like, “She is so nice.” No, she’s not.

(Laughter)

All the women are like, “That’s a demon in a dress.”

(Laughter)

Proverbs 5. “For the lips of an adulteress drip honey.” Oh, she’s smooth. She’ll walk up to a guy, “Oh, you look really nice. You losing weight? I like your haircut. That’s a nice looking outfit.” On the job, “You did a really great job. I was – man, I’m really glad I work with you. You’re so good at what you do.” Flattery, mmmm. Proverbs later says, it’s like a lamb being – it’s like an animal being dragged off to a slaughterhouse. “Oh, where are we going?”

(Laughter)

These women, they are smooth. You ladies know these women. You have certain friends, you would not let your boyfriend or your husband talk to them.

(Laughter)

There’s certain women, you go into a room and you see that woman sort of walking toward your man, oh no. You know she is nothing but trouble. Her speech, her lips drip honey. Her speech is smoother than oil. Some women play men like instruments with their words. Get ‘em to dance and do anything. See, ‘cause men are dumb.

(Laughter)

If a woman says, “You are so – you are good looking, and you’re strong, and I feel safe when I’m with you”, a guy says, “Well, of course you do.”

(Laughter)

“It makes sense that you would think those things.” And she’s just reeling him in.

(Laughter)

Now, if you’re married, this is great. If you’re married, ladies, this is a great skill. Just, you know, the woman, Abishag in Song of Solomon, she says, “My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among 10,000 men.”

(Laughter)

But, this is not supposed to happen in the club. This is just supposed to happen at home.

(Laughter)

But, in the end, she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double edged sword. She is gonna kill you. Her feet go down to hell and her steps lead down to hell. She’s gonna kill you. Proverbs 7:10, “Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute with crafty intent.” No, no, she’s just going to the club. She’s not a whore. She’s clubbing. That doesn’t count, right? I thought I read that in Leviticus. Clubbing is not –

(Laughter)

− that doesn’t count.” Ladies, let’s just get real practical. Does the sovereignty of God extend to your hemline or to your neckline? We’re gonna get into this a little bit later, but we have lost all sense of modesty. All sense of modesty. The worst is in sports. We have women running in underwear. I would rather be slow than run in my underwear.

(Laughter)

We have a culture where women are glorified for just complete exhibitionism. And women love the attention. And a lot of ladies play this naïve, dumb _____, “Oh, I didn’t know guys were attract – I didn’t know I had caused stumbling.”

(Laughter)

You know, I mean, it’s like the guy who gets pulled over by a cop. “I didn’t know I was going 175 miles an hour.”

(Laughter)

“I was fiddling with the radio. I’m a victim.” No.

(Laughter)

No. You knew. And some women use their body to suck in attention, and to suck in men, and they are death. I’ll tell you a little secret, ladies. For single ladies, we’ll get into this when we get into dating and courtship, but there are two kinds of women. There are women that men will sleep with, and there are women that men will marry. What does that mean if they’re sleeping with you? They’re not gonna marry you. They will tell you they love you. They will tell you whatever it takes to get you in bed. It’s like a used car salesman. Whatever you wanna hear to close the deal, that’s what you’ll hear. That’s why it’s important that dad is vigilant and on the job because who can spot a player quicker than dad? ‘Cause dad was a player. He knows all the moves.

(Laughter)

Proverbs 31. We’ll end on a little more optimism. Proverbs 31, beginning in verse 10. Proverbs is a book of wisdom. The quintessence of wisdom is a woman in Proverbs 31. She is the great philosopher of the book. She is the embodiment of wisdom. “A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” This is a woman who has character, strength, competence and ability, and she is priceless. These women are hard to find. By God’s grace, I married one. And it is God’s grace to me to find a woman who is strong, feminine, competent, able. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” This is a woman you can trust with anything. And we’ll get into all the portions of her domesticity that are under her jurisdiction that she does a tremendous job with. Here is the key ladies. You wanna be a good wife? Just memorize this verse. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Here’s the key. “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of his life.” Good, not harm.

I’ll tell you what. I’ll brag about my wife. My wife has brought me good, and not harm, for 13 years. We’ve been together 13 years. We’ve been married, on March 12th, will be the anniversary – 14th anniversary – of our first date. My wife, I have never seen my wife flirt with another man. Never. She has never spoken ill of me. Just good, not harm. And this lie in our culture would say, “Oh, but see, she’s vulnerable now. She’s not, you know, beating you up and making her own money, and creating her independence. She’s vulnerable.” No, she’s not. The safest place she is is with me because there is no one that cares for her like I do. There is no one that is concerned as I am for her well being. She has made herself vulnerable with me, which means that it is my privilege now to be very careful with her because she is priceless, Proverbs says. I could never, never replace her. Women you sleep with (Snapping fingers), trade ‘em like baseball cards. A wife of high quality, priceless. Only an absolute fool would harm her. It’s a man hating himself, Ephesians 5 says.

By God’s grace, my wife has never done me harm. I told her recently, I said, “Honey, you know, we fell in love. I fell in love with you first.” On our first date, I told her I was gonna marry her. We were 17 years old. Most guys tell you that, they’re freaks. You should run for your life.

(Laughter)

But, I meant it. And I told her, I said, “Since that time, I have had the privilege of meeting thousands upon thousands of other people and Christian women.” And I said, “Today, if I got to put out every woman I’ve ever met and you, and then choose my wife, I would choose you. I would choose you.” I’ve never met a woman that is her equal. She is my helper suitable. She is a fit. She is glorious. It’s like I found my left hand and I needed it desperately ‘cause it’s not good for a man to be alone. And I want there to be, in this church, a Biblical recognition of the high value of women, particularly those who are homebuilders as we’ll see here. And when I say homebuilding, don’t freak out. We’ll deal with that next week. A whole sermon on homebuilding and what that means.

Here’s what she does. “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.” In that day, you wanna make clothes, you wanna have food, you gotta work with your hands. This is a woman who has got a brilliant mind, hardworking, energetic spirit. This is a woman who has got a multitude of gifts and talents. “She is like the merchant’s ships, bringing her food from afar.” Do you know we have lost any sense of culinary art? This is a woman who is going around in varying locations to acquire food for her home. She’s not going down to the 7-11 to buy dinner. She’s not driving through and talking to the clown –

(Laughter)

− to get something to eat. Do you understand what I’m saying?

(Laughter)

We have lost any sense of health, nutrition, diet, homeopathy, health. One of the leading causes of illness for children today is obesity. Wonder why. You eat fries. You know, the average kid today, they’re primary vegetable input in their diet is French fries. If you eat fries and ding dong – you wonder why kids, too, are all hopped up on Ritalin and they’re – just go for a while – but, you wonder why boys are diagnosed with ADD. Maybe some, it’s biological. But, if you get up in the morning and you have a sugar cereal and a few Cokes, and you go to kindergarten –

(Laughter)

− and then for dinner, you have a few more Cokes, and for lunch, you pound a few Twinkies, and you’re high all night on sugar, and hopped up, you say, “I wonder why that kid’s got a behavioral problem.” Well, he’s a five year old crack addict is what he is.

(Laughter)

No one’s feeding him. He needs to eat. He needs to eat food that isn’t going to kill him. She’s a wise woman. She’s a dietician. She’s a culinary artist. She’s gathering food. She’s not just going down to the 7-11 and grabbing whatever’s on the shelf. “She gets up while it is still dark and she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.” She works hard. A lot of ladies say, “Oh, well, of course she was holy. She had servant girls.”

(Laughter)

She also didn’t have what? Electricity.

(Laughter)

Central heating. A car. A grocery store. A dishwasher. A washer and dryer. Indoor plumbing. You say, “Okay, you got me. Alright. That’s” –

(Laughter)

Those things are helpful; at least if you use them, then they’re helpful. Gotta use them for them to be helpful. You say, “Well, this poor woman, there she is, chained to her husband, chained to her kids.” No, she’s also into real estate. How many of you women, you don’t need to raise your hand, feel like you have a good handle on investing, saving, on not just working for money, but causing your money to work for you? Do you know that young women are the least likely to read the financial section of the paper, least likely to invest, least likely to save, least likely to have a retirement account. Most young women do not have any idea about the difference between an asset and a liability, about compounded interest, about debt. This woman does. And so, she gets into real estate. Most of the millionaires in this country have earned their wealth through real estate. She’s into real estate.

I’ll tell you, if a woman loves God, and wants to be a wife and mother, and is good with real estate, that’s a wise woman. Wise woman. The lie is, “Women, put your kids in daycare, go make more money so we can tax you to death, and so that we can increase your cost of living and we could feed this sick governmental structure, so that we can send more money to the families that are not doing their job.” And the wise woman says, “No, I’m gonna take care of my homeward responsibilities and from my home, I’m homeward oriented, but I’m not homeward bound. I am going to invest and acquire real estate, and I’m going to turn a profit with wisdom”, and that’s what she does. She considers a field and she buys it. She’s out looking at real estate.

“Out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.” She turns a profit and then, she goes and she opens a small business. “She sets about her work vigorously and her arms are strong for the task.” She is in good shape ‘cause she is moving a lot. “She sees that her trading is profitable and that her lamp does not go out at night.” This is a woman who’s up late balancing her checkbook, putting together investment portfolio, tracking her savings account. “In her hands, she holds the distaff and she grasps the spindle with her fingers.” In her free time, she makes clothing. Not only that, “She opens her arms to the poor and she extends her hands to the needy.” The kids down the street that don’t have any parents to stay home with them, the 12 year old boys who get home from school and watch porno and drink beer until their mom and dad get home, or just their mom gets home, she has them over to her house, and she evangelizes them.

My mom was like this. I grew up in Sea-Tac behind the Déjà Vu. If you’ve been there, repent to God. And in my neighborhood, looking back, I was the only kid that I knew that had a father. I was the only one I can think of that had a dad. And my mom stayed home with us kids and they set up our home so that we would always be there and our friends would be there too. Sports equipment, mini bikes, batting cage, air hockey. We were not a wealthy family, but we had a lot of things that us kids were home all the time after school ‘cause the other kids were out, literally, gang banging drive bys, drugs, prostitution. Major, major problems. And all the kids in the neighborhood would come and hang out at my house. My mom would feed ‘em. She’d buy ‘em socks, shoes, clothes. That’s what this woman is doing. She’s saying, “Man, there’s an opportunity here for an enormous ministry to help those in need. The single mom who’s down the street and can’t make ends meet and doesn’t know what she’s doing ‘cause she has no older woman to help her think through any of this, she has her over and says, “Here, let me get some time with you.”

“When it snows, she has no fear for her household for all of them are clothed in scarlet.” When winter comes, she’s not freaking out. She’s already bought boots, and clothes, and hats, and she’s stored up, and she’s planned ahead, and she’s got an organized household. “She makes covering for her bed and she is clothed in fine linen and purple.” Not only that, she takes care of herself. This is a woman who dresses herself nicely and provides nice things for herself as well. She takes care of her commitments to the Lord. And her husband. And her kids. And the Gospel. And her ministry. And herself.

Now, what about her husband? You know she didn’t marry a guy who sits on the couch all day doing nothing. You know, she didn’t marry a guy who works 12 hours a week as a barista. You know she’s not gonna go for that guy. A lot of guys are like, “I wanna find a good woman.” Well, you gotta put better bait on your hook.

(Laughter)

“Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” He is one of the preeminent men in the whole city. I’ll tell you this, ladies, some ladies say, “Well, I’m smart. I’m competent. I’m capable. I’m strong.” Great, then at least marry a guy who can keep up with you, if you’re single. Don’t marry some guy you gotta mother and drag around ‘cause he can’t keep up with you. He will be threatened. He will do one of two things. He will either be your wife and just, “Whatever you wanna do, honey. Just pay the bills. I’ll be here, you know, watching TV.” And you’ll get sick of him or he will dominate you and hold you back so that you cannot run because he’s threatened by you. And you see that with some men. Some men stifle their wives because their wives are smarter, and faster, and holier than they are, and rather than them catching up, they pull their wife back. She’s married a man who can run with her. They’re equally yoked.

“She makes linen garments and sells them.” A little side business. She’s working out of the house. “Supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come.” She’s not worried. She’s got the future all planned out. Here’s the other deal. She’s a Bible teacher. “She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” This woman knows her Bible well. She can teach. She’s a good teacher. They probably got people in their home all the time studying Scripture. Titus 2, “Encourage the older women to spend some time training the younger women.” There are very few good older women who actually know their Bibles and are committing time to younger women. She is that kind of woman.

“She watches over the affairs of her household. She manages her home and does not eat the bread of idleness.” She doesn’t sit around a lot. “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her.” Husband, kids (Applause), “There she is, glorious. We love her. She’s outstanding. She’s amazing. Helpful. Wise. Godly. Strong.” “Many women do noble things.” See, a lot of times, I’ve heard commentators say, “This is an ideal woman. This is not actually achievable.” But, he says here, “Many women do noble things.” It is possible for many women to have this kind of wisdom. Now, I’ll tell you this, ladies. Is she a young or an old woman? She’s an older woman ‘cause her children are rising up to call her blessed. Three year olds don’t usually do that.

(Laughter)

“Mother, we beseech thee on behalf of the brethren, that you have blessed us in Heavenly places.”

(Laughter)

You know, when you get a little older, some of you now are at that place. You look back at your mom and you say, “Thanks. That – thanks, mom. That – you’re – I appreciate. I didn’t know what you were doing, but, now, in retrospect, I see what you’re doing and I’m grateful.” Her kids are older. She started her investments young. She started reading her Bible young. She started loving her husband early. She began planting some seeds that, many years later, bore fruit. Here’s the deal. “Charm is deceptive.” Is it, ladies? Are charming women deceptive? They are aren’t they? And they get away with murder ‘cause they’re so cute. They’re so nice. They’re so, “Oh, she’s just so sweet. She’s like Satan.”

(Laughter)

She’s decept – “Oh, we should fire her, but she’s so cute and her skirt doesn’t fit, and she makes good jokes and, ahhh, fire that other one. She’s so cute.” Charming women can be very deceptive. They get by with their humor and their personality and their sweetness. Charm is deceptive. And beauty is what? Fleeting. Gravity takes over.

(Laughter)

You ever seen a hot 90 year old?

(Laughter)

You ever seen a geriatric pornographic magazine? No. The Bible says Sarah was lovely at 90. That’s the only time I’ve ever heard of someone at 90 – you know what? Gray hair is the splendor of the aged. Gravity’s gonna take over. Eventually, we’re all gonna look the same. It’s just – it all comes back down to beauty is fleeting. It is fleeting. Any of you been to your high school reunion? You’re like, “Man, he was a good looking guy. Now, wow.”

(Laughter)

“Thank God I didn’t hook up with him like I was hoping.” And you look at her and you’re like, “Wow. Tragic.”

(Laughter)

Beauty is fleeting. But, a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. A woman who loves God, worships God, serves God, she’s beautiful. She is beautiful in and out. And we look at this woman and we say, “Ahhh, too bad. She’s a housewife. She’s oppressed. Too bad. She’s not free like Ally McBeal. She’s not free like the women on Sex and The City. She bound with all these limitations. Kids. Husband. Ministry. Too bad she’s not free.” You ask her does she have any regret? Fifty years. Happy marriage. Fruitful financial investments. Beautiful kids who love her. Enormous evangelistic ministry. Good handle on Scripture. Health. Wisdom. Love of God. She says, “Don’t pity me. Pity yourself. The world in its wisdom does not know God.”

“Give her the reward she has earned and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” This is the woman who, when the men who rule the city get together, they talk about her and how incredible she is. Let me ask you this. In this whole section, does this woman say a word? She doesn’t say a word. The issue is, “Well, how she’s gonna get her dignity and her honor?” Who gives it to her? Everyone. Her kids. Her husband. The leaders of the city. Her whole life preaches. She is a sermon. Everybody looks at her and says, “Wow, that’s a Godly woman. You wanna talk about wisdom, go talk to her. She’s the best philosopher we got. She can integrate the wisdom of God and the practical living of home. And she’s a genius. God has given her wisdom.

Here’s your assignment ladies. I want you to covenant with me to do this this week. Fast. Fast from television. Fast from radio. Fast from women’s magazines. Fast from trashy romance novels. As much as you are able, fast from all of the false sermons that are being preached to you. And the false Gospels that are being assailed at you. Fast from it for two weeks. In that time, read Proverbs. Read Ruth. Read Esther. Read ‘em again, and again, and again, and again, and again. And read ‘em with a pen or a highlighter. Every time something strikes ‘ya, note it. And read Ruth. Read Esther. Read Proverbs, over, over, over, over, over. At the end of two weeks, watch a sitcom. Pick up a women’s magazine. And tell me if you do not see that this world is filled with the woman folly, who is loud, defiant, undisciplined, without knowledge, but many converts. You may disagree with a lot of what I have said. My question would be this. Do you disagree because you’ve been reading your Bible a lot or do you disagree because you haven’t been reading your Bible a lot? And I think it’s time for the ladies to undergo a renewing of the mind.

At this point, we always come to respond. God has initiated, come for us. We respond. The first thing we respond with is repentance. Some of you men have sinned greatly against women. Some of you are sinning greatly against women and you need to repent of that to God and ask his forgiveness. Some of you women are sinning and you have believed lies and you’ve been deceived. You need to repent of that. Ask God to forgive you in Christ and he will.

We respond through the partaking of communion, which is for us the remembrance of Jesus, his body and blood shed for our sins to forgive us so that we could live new lives in Christ, in freedom and in joy. And we’ll respond with collecting an offering which is your act of worship. If you’re not a Christian, you’re a visitor first time, don’t give. It’s good to have you. For the rest, it’s your act of worship and your privilege and your duty. And we’ll sing and we’re gonna go live our lives counter culturally because the world in its wisdom does not know God. And, ladies, will you covenant with me? Proverbs, Ruth, Esther. Will you do that with me? Proverbs, Ruth, Esther.

Father God, thank you for a chance to get together and study your Word. Thank you, Lord God, that you have not left us void of wisdom and knowledge, that you have spoken to us. Lord God, I thank you for each woman that you have entrusted to this church. Lord God, I thank you that whatever sins they have committed or may have been committed against them, that you are fully capable of dealing with them. Forgiving them. Healing them. Renewing them. Cleansing them. Loving them. Adopting them. Restoring them, like you did with Rahab. Like you did with Ruth.

Lord God, I thank you as well for all the women whom are single, that they have this great opportunity at this point in their life to really solidify their theology regarding gender, and marriage, and life, and womanhood, and that, Lord God, they have a time to really, carefully lay out wisdom for their future. Lord God, I pray for the married women, that they would bring help and not harm all the days of their life to their husband. I pray for the mothers, that they would love their children and raise them up in the fear and the admonition of you, Lord God. And, Lord God, it’s my prayer that future generations that come out of this room would look differently. That they would have different kinds of values. Different kinds of beliefs. Different kinds of convictions guided by your Spirit and by your Word, and not by the shifting winds of a culture that does not know you, does not love you, has not discovered you, and is nothing but deception and lies.

Lord God, we love you and we thank you, and I pray for the women, Lord God, that as they read Proverbs, Ruth and Esther, that your Spirit would lead, teach, and guide them, and that would be a time of great encouragement to them all. Amen.