Women as Homebuilders
Proverbs

This’ll be fun. I’ll pray.

(Laughter)

God, thanks for a chance to get together. Thanks for a chance to study the Scriptures. Lord God, we come as James tells us that we should, seeking wisdom and asking for wisdom, understanding practically, Lord God, how you relate to the affairs of our daily routine and how you should better relate to those events.

Lord God, we thank you for a chance to study the Scriptures. And we ask you to instruct us. In Christ’s name. Amen.

We’re continuing in Proverbs, a series on the ladies. And we’re gonna talk this week about homebuilding. Before I do that, though, I need to get a large philosophical deconstruction under way. Here is – here’s my basic presumption. 1 Corinthians 1 and 2 says that there are two kinds of wisdom in this world. There is wisdom that loves God and wisdom that does not love God. Wisdom that does not love God is all the opinions, and theories, and thinking, and strategizing, and planning, and structures that people put together with the best guess that they can shoot out of their three pound fallen brain. For everyone else, we believe that God has spoken to us through Scripture, and through Christ, and through the Spirit.

And so, we have wisdom that God has given us, which means that, practically, our lives should look differently than other people’s, if we are Christians because they’re operating from a set of assumptions, worldly wisdom. We’re operating from a set of assumptions, Biblical wisdom.

And the reason that I need to get into this real quickly, especially for you ladies, is because here is my fear. That the world is constructed for us in a 98 story building, and what our temptation is is to go to the top floor and then rearrange the furniture and say, “Well, that’s Christianity”, when, in fact, no Christianity is completely vacating the building and building something else entirely in its place. And so, we can’t make a few minor alterations to the way that this culture does things. We need to be counter cultural, according to the Scriptures, not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Think differently with the wisdom of God about how we do things.

So, here’s what I’m talking about. These are false assumptions, false wisdom, that govern the way that life is done in this world and, particularly, I would say, in relation to our topic today of women.

The first is that human beings are the highest being that there is; that at the apex of all that is, humans, and not just humans, but individuals, are the most important and highest being. The second under that is that pride is the highest virtue. So, in our culture, we say things like, “Oh, you’re not doing very well. You need more self-esteem.” Because if you felt better about yourself, then you would be a better person, which not necessarily. You may be, then, an ax murderer with a very high view of yourself. You could still be a wicked reprobate and have a very good self-opinion. You know some people like that. They do terrible things, but, really are impressed by the quality of their goodness.

And pride, and self esteem, and self love is the guise that it comes under in our culture. In addition, that people are not connected. They are individuals. That we’re each an individual, and within that, then we need autonomy, independence, and self-reliance. We don’t wanna depend on anybody, be connected to anybody, obligated to anybody. We wanna be independent. In addition, self fulfillment is defined by the individual and that’s the highest value. Whatever fulfills me as an individual, that’s the most important thing. And so, who are you to judge me? You have your things that fulfill you. I have my things that fulfill me. We live in disconnected autonomous worlds. You do what you want. I do what I want, and if those things are at variance, that’s okay.

In addition, the way we achieve this, then, is through freedom. And freedom means that we can do whatever we want. That’s freedom in our culture. Freedom means you can do anything you wanna do. It’s nobody else’s business. Your parents. Your spouse. Your church. The law. God. No one has any right to tell you what to do. You decide what you wanna do.

In addition, that there is the home and the marketplace, but that in our world, the marketplace is the most important. So, you’ll sacrifice marriage, children, the safety, security, comfort, building of a home because the marketplace is the most important. The most important thing.

And then, lastly, that other people, like the family, your church, your friends, exist so that you can consume from them. You’re the individual wanting to meet all of your desires and people exist for you to take things from so that you can get what you want. That’s our world. So, the relationships that we even have in this world do not tend to promote authentic friendship and ongoing relationship. The relationships are built around business, or sex, or sports, or something where there’s an affinity to where I’m getting something from you, and as soon as I stop getting that, our relationship is over. That’s why there’s so many books being written about loneliness, and depression, and the need for community. Because the world that operates under these presumptions, everyone is isolated, everyone is lonely, and you can’t trust anyone ‘cause everybody’s trying to take something from you.

Here are the Biblical values. The wisdom of God says that we’re not the highest being; God is. The most important thing on this planet would be God and what he’s about; not us. And that pride isn’t the highest value; that humility is. It’s not about us getting our glory; it’s about us pouring ourselves out to benefit others. And that we are not independent people, but that we are communal people. We, like the Father, and Son, and Spirit, we’re supposed to be connected together. And only sin separates and God’s work in Christ reconciles us back together.

So, we shouldn’t be independent. We should be interdependent and we should help one another. According to the Scriptures, the highest value is not that I am self fulfilled; the highest value is is that we love God and we love each other as a demonstration of that love for God. So, it’s not about me being fulfilled. It’s about God being loved and you being loved. Again, you’ll notice that these two worlds – one is absolutely everything is focused toward the self. The other is the self reposition back toward others and God. The arrow’s going completely antithetical directions. Freedom means, not that we can do whatever we want, but that we’re connected to each other, and we’re connected to God. Now, we’re free ‘cause we don’t do well in isolation. In addition, the home is where ministry, interdependence, life happens for a woman, is a Biblical value.

And then, lastly, that other people, like our family, our friends and our church exist, not so that we can consume from them, but so that we could participate with them in life and that it affords us an opportunity to be like Jesus and to serve them. Now, the reason I say this is because this morning my topics for the ladies is homebuilding, and if you assume that the most important thing is you, your self fulfillment, being independent, autonomous, disconnected, and then consuming out of other people, and having all of your relationships be short term and business transactions, you’re not gonna understand why it’s important to be a home builder because the whole value system mitigates against it. And when I say homebuilding, some of you ladies will struggle with the term because what we’ve done is we’ve take things like housewife and we’ve made it a degenerating term. When I say homemaker, if you would like, just use the word minister. And when I say homebuilding, just use the word ministry. It’s a synonym in the Scripture. It’s the exact same thing. And as we get into this as well, some of you ladies that are single, you’re gonna say, “Well, this doesn’t apply to me.” I’ll show you, it certainly does. You’re still building a home and out of that is going to come influence and ministry.

And when the Scripture talks about the home, it’s not doing so in a low and denigrating way. We tend to view, in our culture, the home as a place that is very transient. Sort of pull in, sleep, and then pull out so that you can either go into the marketplace and make money or go off into the economy and shop and spend money; or go off into the entertainment industry and be entertained. But, certainly, there’s not a lot that happens in the home in our present day world and so the home is not highly valued. In the Scriptures, it certainly is. God uses a number of metaphors. In addition to our home and our residence, here are some of the things that God calls his home.

In the Old Testament, it’s the temple. Matthew 21:13, Jesus says, “It is written”, he said to them, “My house will be called a house of prayer.” In the Old Testament, the temple is God’s house. In the New Testament, the church is God’s house. It’s his home. Again, in your notes, Ephesians 2:19, it says, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but rather fellow citizens with God’s people and member of his household.” Members of God’s house. The temple, God’s house. The church, God’s house. Christians are God’s house. 1 Peter 2:5 says, “We are living stones being built into a spiritual house.” Paul says as well that, “Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, the house of God.” And lastly, the Heaven is God’s home. In John 14:2, Jesus says, “I’m going to my Father’s house and in my Father’s house, there’s a lot of rooms and one day when you die, you get to get a better room than you got now. You get to move into my Father’s house.”

And so, when the Bible talks about the home, what it’s talking about is this wonderful place where God and his people dwell together. They live together in friendship, and fellowship, and love, and interconnectedness. And that – out of that comes ministry. And so, in the Old Testament, the temple is God’s house. In the New Testament, the church is God’s house. Our body is God’s house and heaven is God’s house. So, ladies, when I say that you’re duty is as a homemaker or as a home builder, don’t view that in any denigrating terms. That is held as highly as the human body, the temple, the church and the Kingdom of God. So, you’re on good standing and good plain as far as the respect that you should get for the domain that you’re called to.

In addition, the Scripture talks about who should build the home. The Bible never teaches that a man should build his home. It always teaches that is the opportunity and the blessing of women to build their home. And, again, there’s marketplace and there’s home, and men are called to marketplace focus; women are called to homeward orientation. And it is not that one is good and one is bad; it is that they are to work in synthesis, left hand, right hand. That if you have all business and no homebuilding, you get a culture that looks like ours and kids that look the kids that are coming out. And if you get all home and no marketplace, then you have, you know, dad who’s a really nice guy, who sits around all day and read the Bible with the kids, but they starve to death.

(Laughter)

And Paul says, “If a man does not provide for the need of his family, he’s denied the faith and he’s worse than an unbeliever.” Okay, so there are these two domains. God calls men into one and women into another to work in harmony. And so, who builds a home? Titus 2, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.” Women aren’t supposed to be alcoholics and gossips. They’re supposed to be Bible teachers. Hard to be both, though some have tried.

(Laughter)

Then, they can train the younger women. And see, here’s the deal. Older women are supposed to teach younger women. And most of the church in our context here is younger women. Why? I had some people say, “Why don’t we have any Godly older women?” Because there aren’t very many. It’s not like there’s thousands out there and we just haven’t asked them to come. We can’t find them. It is – there are not a lot of Godly older women. There’s just not. You say, “Well, that sounds terrible.” It is terrible. What happens is is that a lot of women in previous generations believed a number of lies and, as a result, are not Biblically very Godly women. And the Bible says that women who have walked with God and faithfully built their home, and walked with wisdom, they are invaluable because there are a slew of young women who need someone to talk to and could get some practical discipleship from older women. But, if you don’t have any older women, those younger women are left to begin where they are.

Now, this church is blessed in that the older women we do have, I would submit to you, are outstanding. Most of the older women that come to this church come to this church so that they can invest in younger women, which is great. But, what often happens is as soon as a woman has her children raised, she runs off into the marketplace, and I’m not saying that it is sinful for a woman to do that, but wouldn’t it be great if there were some women who viewed as their ministry to pour into other women? I mean, invaluable. And it’s interesting to me because I’ve spoken to a great number of older women who say, “Well, you know, now that my kids are raised, I wanna do something significant, so I’m going to work.” It’s like, ahhhh. But, significance would be you adopting 50 or 60 young women and opening the Scriptures and loving, and encouraging, and admonishing, and instructing, and doing Titus 2 with them. That would be a great – you wanna do something valuable and worthwhile, you know, implicate five generations through 60 households. That’s a big deal. That’s bigger than filing at the office.

(Laughter)

Much bigger.

And so, older women are supposed to teach younger women. Okay, here’s what I’ll say to you younger women, especially you ladies that are single. If you would like to go to a woman’s home who is married and raising her children, and get some time with a woman who’s a little bit further down the road than you, you contact the office this week and we will schedule that for you. We’ll do that. You wanna get together with ‘em, one of the moms in the church? We’ll do that. You ladies call or email and we’ll hook that up for ‘ya. But, it’s interesting to me too. A lot of women say, “I wanna be in full time ministry.” And when the Scripture says that a woman is to build her home, that’s full time ministry, and we’ll see how that all relates to things.

So, Titus tells us that then they could train the younger women to what? “To love their husbands and their children.” Literally, to be really into husband and children. Some of you single women, you get annoyed when you get around married women ‘cause they’re really into their husbands, and they’re really into their kids. They’re supposed to be, and they’re supposed to disciple you in that. What you don’t wanna do is be married with kids and not be into them. Women are naturally, if well loved, inclined toward being into their husbands and into their children. And just if you’re single, you say, “Ahhh, these women are not _____ _____.” No, learn from them. Learn from them.

“And to be self-controlled and pure.” That’s important ladies. “To be busy at home.” Not just at home. Some women are at home a lot, but they’re not very busy. “And to be kind, to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the Word of God.” Now, let me ask you this. Ladies, have you ever heard anyone who took this text and just said, “Oh, that’s outdated. Patriarchal. Old School. It’s dated, that’s a foregone culture. It’s dead now. These things don’t apply to us. In the Greek, this means a woman should put her kids in daycare.”? Have you heard these kind of things?

(Laughter)

You heard that? Why do you hear that? Because older women aren’t walking righteously. Younger women aren’t being trained and we feel free to malign the Word of God, just like Paul said would happen. He promised this would happen. Older women don’t do their jobs. Young women do follow their discipleship ways, which are wrong, and then we malign the Word of God. We say, “Oh, Paul was a sexist patriarch. He was a misogynist pig. This is limiting toward women. Aren’t you glad we live in a free society where they can go out and be molested by teenage boys?” And we do all these foolish things and we malign the Word of God. And the most honest conversation I’ve had with some people on this, I dealt with a female pastor and I said, “What do you do with Paul’s instruction?” She says, “I don’t read Paul.”

(Laughter)

I said, “Why is that?” She says, “Paul’s a sexist.” I said, “So, you don’t read Paul?” She says, “No.” I said, “That’s about 25 percent of your New Testament.” She says, “Yes, and I don’t read that.” I said, “Well, at least your consistent.”

(Laughter)

“You’re gonna be consistent to hell, but you’ll be consistent.” And I guess that’s what it is. If you come to the Bible, you say, “I don’t really like that”, just be honest and say, “Well, forget the Bible. You know, I’m smart. I have a degree, you know, in sociology, so I know how the world should go.” So, we malign the Word of God. Here’s another one. 1 Timothy 5:14. “So, I counsel younger widows, women whose husbands have died or, in our context, maybe guys who have abandoned their covenant relationship to marry, to have children, to manage their homes, and give the opportunity for slander.” The concept here is the manager, it’s a very strong word. It means that, basically, she is in charge. She’s ruling over her home. That’s her domain. And you have moms that made really strong house rules and she ran the house. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Now, for the husbands and the dads, how important is it that dad reinforce the house rules? See, here’s what happens. Mom sets up her domain and she rules it. And then, dad comes in and breaks all the rules so the kids’ll think he’s cool or funny; or maybe he’s just a slob.

(Laughter)

And the woman is supposed to be ruling. You say, “Well, doesn’t she have important things to do?” She does. Millions of dollars are going to pass her through her hands. Generations of influence are going to pass through her hands. Thousands of people are going to pass through her home and she has to be wise and strong to manage this as a small business, seeking maximum output of her resources. So, here’s what Proverbs says then. This is our transition into Proverbs. “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears it down. Proverbs says, “In regards to the home, there’s two kinds of women. There are wise women who build a home. There are foolish women who tear ‘em down.” So, all ladies are either wise or foolish, either building or tearing. And some of you ladies are single. You’re saying, “Well, I don’t have a home, so it doesn’t count.” But, here’s the deal. If you’re going into major credit card debt, if you’re spending foolishly, if you’re getting yourself into a financial hole or an emotional hole, you are building a home. You’re building a really bad one and when you get married, you’re just gonna put more weight on a shaky foundation and it’s gonna collapse.

The most likely people in our society to be in debt are young, single women because they don’t think that they’re really doing anything that’s going to have any implications yet. “I’m single. This doesn’t affect anyone.” It does, and especially if you get married, it does. So, here are the principles of homeward ministry. Ladies, we’re now gonna talk about your full time ministry. Fully time ministry. Some general principles toward your homeward, full time ministry.

First, Proverbs 24:3-4, this is all in your notes. “By wisdom, a house is built through understanding. It is established through knowledge. Its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Wisdom, understanding, knowledge. Ladies, you tell me. To build your home, what knowledge, wisdom and understanding are you gonna have to have? What do you need to know to build a good home?

Response: Scripture.

What’s that?

Response: The Word.

You’re gonna need to know Scripture very, very well. You’re gonna need to be a theologian because you’re running a little Bible college for your children. And some men are foolish. They say, “Well, I just wanna marry a woman who loves the Lord. You know, she doesn’t need to know her Bible very well.” Well, your children are gonna know about as much as your wife; and if she doesn’t know anything, that’s gonna be a real problem. You want a woman who knows the Scriptures well. We’ll get into this a little bit. A woman needs to know her Bible. What else does she need to know? See, it’s foolish too ‘cause it’s like I’ve heard people say, “Well, you know, that woman, she doesn’t really need an education. She doesn’t really need to be a theologian. She’s just gonna be a mom.” I’m like what the – “You know, that elementary school teacher, they don’t really know how to read and write. They’re just an elementary school teacher.” I’m like, “Well, it would be nice if they were literate because they are teaching and so is mom.”

(Laughter)

What else does a woman need to know to build her home? Areas, just the things you’re gonna need to get? What’s that?

Response: Children.

Children. What else?

Responses: Financial.

Finances, investing, stewardship, diet, nutrition, investments. There’s a lot that goes into this. Business woman. She’s gonna have to be part homeopathic doctor, be able to figure out health and life for her children, and her husband, and her friends. She’s got a lot of things she needs to master, which means if you’re single right now, it’s a great time to start getting some knowledge, wisdom and understanding. It’s a great time to start reading, studying, do your homework.

Another general principle. “The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked” – Proverbs 3:33 – “but he blesses the home of the righteous.” Okay, ladies, you wanna be righteous. The foundation of your home has to be righteousness, holiness, love for God and obedience.

Another one out of Proverbs 16:3. “Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed.” I love this verse because it says to plan and pray. Now, some people plan only. They just assume that God will bless whatever it is that they wrote down. Other people never plan and they pray ‘cause it’s spiritual. These are the people, the night before the final exam, “Oh, Lord Jesus, help me, Lord Jesus. Please, Lord Jesus. Amen.”

(Laughter)

“Good. I’m gonna get an A now, right?” And the Lord answers the prayer and he says what? “You should have planned.”

(Laughter)

“Yeah, you should of planned and now, you’re gonna flunk and that’s Biblical.”

(Laughter)

Because you were supposed to plan and pray, okay? Now, planning without prayer, that is Godless. Praying without planning, that’s Godless too. Some people are real hyper spiritual. “I don’t plan. I just pray.” How about pray about planning. How about you do that for us?

(Laughter)

Ladies, if you are going to run a home that is a ministry, you’re gonna invite in your neighbors, your friends, you’re gonna raise your children, you’re gonna love your husband; if you’re single, you’re just going to come and cause this to be an extension of the church, and your families, and Bible studies, and ministry, and such, you’re gonna need a lot of planning. Budget. Money. Finance. Housing. You’re gonna have to put a lot of information. You’re gonna need a plan.

How about this one? Proverbs 31:17. “She sets about her work vigorously. Her arms are strong for her tasks.” This is a woman who is continually moving, always doing something. In the last few weeks, my wife had her third child, which meant that I had to become homeward in my orientation. And I knew I was preaching this and I looked at my wife one day and she says, “You just look very unhappy.” I said, “I am very unhappy.” She said, “Why?” And I said, “Well, the dishes are never done. The laundry’s never done, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.” She says, “Now, you know how my world is.” I said, “Ahhh, I’m preaching on this. I should have known the Lord was gonna do this to me.”

(Laughter)

And I am the worst homebuilder ever.

(Laughter)

Every day, my mother and my mother-in-law kept calling like every 15 minutes and they would drive by all the time to see the kids and drop off food. They assumed that the children were gonna die because I was in charge for a week.

(Laughter)

And there was good reason. I mean, there was good evidence to come to that conclusion. I – we have one – we have hardwood floors and we have this one little tiny rug. And the rug, you couldn’t even see the rug. My son, for some reason, he just eats on it and puts things all over it.

(Laughter)

And so, I thought, “I’m gonna vacuum that rug”, you know? And so, I asked my wife, I said, “Honey, where’s the vacuum?”

(Laughter)

Okay? I yell upstairs. My wife says, “In the closet.” So, my four year old daughter says, “Daddy, I’ll show you.” “Okay, sweetheart.”

(Laughter)

My four year old daughter takes me over, shows me the vacuum. I plug it in. Okay, I’m working on a Master’s degree right now. I do not know how to turn the vacuum on.

(Laughter)

I’m looking at it. I’m looking all over the dang thing. I cannot find the button.

(Laughter)

I said, “Ashley, do you know where the button is on the vacuum, honey?” Four years old. “Yeah, daddy, it’s right here.” “Okay, praise the Lord. Okay, here we go.”

(Laughter)

The dishes – I have never done dishes. I didn’t know where to put the –

(Laughter)

− is it the – is it soap? I didn’t know where to put the soap.

(Laughter)

I have not done a load of laundry since the first Bush administration.

(Laughter)

I’ve never done laundry.

(Laughter)

Even when I was dating my wife in college, I never asked her to do it. She came over, picked up all my clothes, washed ‘em, folded ‘em, ironed them, brought ‘em back, put ‘em away when I was dating her.

Response: Oh, man.

(Laughter)

And every guy goes, “Oh, yeah.”

(Laughter)

“Yep, that’s” – see? And ‘cause I came home one day and all my clothes were gone and I thought the guys at my house were mocking me, making fun of me, taking my clothes. I said, “Guys, where’s my stuff?” and they said, “Grace took it.” And I was like, “Really?”

(Laughter)

“Really?” ‘Cause see, I was doing clothes. Everything was pink and small.

(Laughter)

And she started to do it. You know, and I married her for a long list of reasons and that was one.

(Laughter)

I thought, “This is genius.” So, I’m homeward in my orientation. I’m trying to figure out – I can’t – I don’t know how to cook. I do not know how to cook. I am a totally pathetic guy. And a lot of ladies are like, “Well, you should change.” We’re not gonna change. This is the way we come.

(Laughter)

This is just standard issue male. Just no idea. I told you last week, that’s why guys never do the dishes until they’re all done. It’s just – just, it’s not – it’s just a different orientation. And so, God bless my wonderful wife. There is so much to do around the house. It is unbelievable. Especially when you through two, three, four, five kids on it, throw a little homeschooling on that, man I was looking for sharp objects to throw myself on.

(Laughter)

There is a lot to do.

I looked at my wife. I said, “You know, if you went and got a 40 hour week job, you’d feel like you’re on vacation.” She says, “Totally. Absolutely. That would be like going on Sabbath.” This woman in Proverbs, she is moving. She keeps to it. There is a ton to be done and thank God for these women.

Proverbs 31:27. “She watches over the affairs of her household, does not eat the bread of idleness.” Ladies, modern day idleness. What does that look like?

Response: TV.

What’s that?

Response: TV.

TV. Soap operas. Talk shows. Talking on the phone. “We’re not gossiping. We’re sharing prayer requests.”

(Laughter)

“About other people who have done really bad things.”

(Laughter)

Email. Websites. Chat rooms. You can spend a lot of time gossiping, talking, busybodies. The New Testament talks about people aren’t busy. They’re busybodies. They’re not doing things, so they start getting in everybody’s business. Wise woman, she doesn’t do that. She just keeps moving.

Proverbs 25:19, another general operating principles. “Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance in times of trouble.” Ladies, here’s the deal. Things are gonna get hard. Your friends, if you’re single, are gonna hit a hard spot. Your husband, if you’re married, is gonna hit a hard spot. Your children, if you’re a mother, they’re gonna hit a hard spot. If you’re a grandmother, your grandkids are gonna hit a hard spot. And you need to be strong and have fortitude to press through those difficult seasons rather than just giving up. Some women start with great intentions and then, it gets hard and they just say, “Ughhh, that’s too much. I’m just done. I can’t keep up.” Proverbs says, “No, be strong and keep moving.” And there are a lot of good women in this church who can look back and say, “Ughhh, that was a hard season, but we pushed through that and by God’s grace, it’s much better and things have improved.”

So, those are general operating principles. Here’s our ministry to our family. “A woman’s ministry to her family. “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste lead to poverty.” Proverbs 21:5. Ladies, most of the money in the home is going to be dispensed through the hands of the woman. And so, a woman who knows how to spend her money is going to save a lot; and a woman who doesn’t, she’s gonna make hasty decisions. They’re gonna lead to poverty. She’s gonna be grabbing things instead of making a list before she goes to purchase what it is that is needed. She’s just sort of walking around putting stuff in that sort of intrigues her at the moment. Haste comes in.

Some of these are ladies who don’t plan and so there’s nothing for dinner, so they keep ordering takeout or calling for delivery. And haste leads to poverty. You gotta be thinking in advance. The best time to buy a winter coat is in the summer. The best time to buy swim trunks is in the winter. You get things at the end of the seasons. My wife is like that. I opened my son’s closet the other day. And in there, there was all of these clothes. And I asked her, I said, “What is this?” She says, “Oh, those are all clothes for the next season. He’ll grow into them and his shoes.” She says, “When a season’s over, everything’s on sale and then I buy him, you know, six months to a year ahead of his size so he’ll grow into them.” I was like, “That’s smart. Never would of thought of that”, but that’s genius according to Proverbs. You’re not being hasty. Winter doesn’t come and you run down to the store and you get the top dollar payment for the winter apparel. Just haste leads to poverty. And a wise woman has plans and she’s thinking down the road about, “Okay, we’re here, we’re gonna need a vehicle. We’re gonna need investments. We’re gonna need clothes for the kids. We need to pay for schooling. We’re gonna need to do this, that, the other thing.” And she’s putting financial budgeting and planning in place to make that happen.

In addition, she blesses, not only with the finances, but with her words. Proverbs 16:24. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Right? There’s – a woman who has healing, sweet words, she is invaluable. Who blesses instead of cursing. When someone is discouraged or hurting, she has healing, sweet words to offer. Her speech is a big part of her ministry.

And here’s another one. Proverbs 31:26. “She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Ladies, you should know your Bible well. You should read the Scriptures often. You should commit yourself to Proverbs regularly. Why? Because your whole life is going to be filled with opportunities to speak wisdom and instruction. And it’s weird to me. It’s like, some people say, “Oh, well, women should be teachers. It’s like women are teachers. They’re always teaching. Every time they open their mouth, they’re speaking, either on behalf of God or against him, and their influence is enormous. The average child sees themselves as their mother speaks of them. The average husband sees himself as his wife speaks of him. A lot of your girlfriends and your guy friends, ladies, have a lot of their identity shaped by the words that you use to speak to them. You have a very powerful ministry. It’s very important that, like James says, you control your tongue and you use it wisely with discretion to give wisdom and instruction.

Have you ever seen a mom who just lost it on her kids? “Wish I would have had an abortion. I wish you were never born. I hate you.” I tell ‘ya, those are not pleasant words that promote wisdom and instruction. That’s death.

How about this one? Proverbs 15:6. “The house of the righteous contains great treasure, but the income of the wicked brings them trouble.” This issue that a wise woman builds a house and in that house are valuable things, I think valuable things include friends, family, ministry, theology, the whole deal. But, I think part of it too is also just aesthetics. The interior design of the home. How many women, aesthetics matter to you? The lighting, the furniture, the setup of the place, the painting on the wall, the coloring? It’s important. Most guys, not exactly the same measure of concern. Walk into a single guy’s place, how do you know that it’s a single guy’s place? What’s hanging up in the living room?

Response: Posters.

A poster. That’s right. Have you ever seen a woman with a poster in her living room? Like a poster of a car or another half naked woman, or maybe an athlete, or a band?

(Laughter)

For the love of God, no, unless she’s, you know, needing serious, immediate, professional help, she doesn’t do that. Women don’t come in and go, “We need to decorate. Let’s put a poster right there.”

(Laughter)

I’m like, “Women just don’t do that.” Completely different.

(Laughter)

It’s amazing to me. When we got this building, we had some ladies, full time staff, with us and, all of a sudden, the place started to look really different. I don’t know if you noticed that. But, like I came in one day and this wall – I’m told this is called texturing.

(Laughter)

And then, I went in the other room and there were flowers, not because men had forgotten to clean and things were beginning to grow.

(Laughter)

But, because a woman had intentionally placed them there for an aesthetic reason. And I walk in and she’d painted the fireplace. She said, “Well, the bricks don’t match.” Right on. I had no idea.

(Laughter)

And there’s candles. The next thing I know, there’s matching chairs, and then there’s food out. And I thought, “Well, this is glorious. Why didn’t we get our own place a long time ago? This is amazing.” The guys, we never – you should have seen it when we did our bit. It was not good. You wouldn’t like to be here. It was not warm, and inviting, and pleasant. It was not. And this issue of décor, how many men, when they got married, the first thing they noticed is that they were living in a completely different world now.

(Laughter)

And their wife starts giving them education about things. “That’s a fork. Boy.”

(Laughter)

“Really? That’s a genius invention. Who came up with this?”

(Laughter)

“This is a dining room table. We eat here.”

(Laughter)

“We do. That’s a couch and that’s a bed, and those are different.”

(Laughter)

Right? Ladies, does the toilet paper roll go over or under?

Response: Over.

Men? Does it –

(Laughter)

− you’re right, it goes over. The men? “Toilet paper?”

(Laughter)

Just different. Wise women, their house is filled with treasures.

(Laughter)

You ladies have ministries you don’t even know about. You just say, “Well, aren’t all the people like?” No. No, most guys are not like that. What else we got?

Here’s one. “The house of the righteous” – oh, here she is, Proverbs 31:14-15 – “She’s like the merchant ships bring her food from afar. She provides food for her family”, right? At least one of our brothers here today is into naturopathy and homeopathy. Here’s something to think about. I would submit to you that a lot of depression, a lot of physical illness in our present day is because of the lack of understanding about diet, nutrition and overall health. That food is tremendously important. My wife is the queen of homeopathy and naturopathy. I love her for it. I mean, it’s amazing to me. I’m home with the kids this week. I say, “Hey, kids, you wanna eat this?” Blah, blah, blah, whatever it is. My daughter says, “We can’t eat that, daddy. If we eat that, then, at this time of day, it does this to us and it’s not good for us and dah, dah, dah, dah. We should eat this instead.” “Really?”

(Laughter)

“How did you know that?” “Well, mommy told us.” “Well, good.” And, “No, Zach, you can’t have that.” He is starting to develop a cold and “If he has dairy, that’ll make his cold worse, so he needs to do this, and this, and this.” “Really? Oh, okay.” I’m going to college here with my four year old as my professor –

(Laughter)

− because she spent time with her mother. And early on, my wife’s like, “Well, we’re not gonna do certain vaccinations.” And, again, I’m not saying that you have to do this. Just things to think about. “Certain vaccinations, we don’t need to do. We’re not gonna do antibiotics in certain seasons. We’re gonna do diet to build the immune system instead. Certain foods are only gonna be introduced to the diet at certain ages because the body doesn’t have the ability to develop a real good digestive system for those things that’ll hurt the children.” You start going, “Man, there’s a lot of wisdom, but that’s a – how much work is that?” That’s an amazing amount of information you gotta go through.

I tell you one for me. I had really bad allergies, asthma, and continual bloody noses growing up, my whole life. And I was just on medication that would really dry my sinuses out and make me sick. I get married to my wife and my wife always says, “Eat these minerals, vitamins, supplements. Take these things out of your diet. Do X, Y, Z, you’ll be fine.” My allergies, gone. My medication, gone. I had food allergies. I didn’t know that. Last year, I’m having major congestion. I say, “Well, honey, I gotta schedule an appointment with the doctor and go get some meds.” She says, “No, you don’t. You need to go to this homeopathic doctor. You need to talk to him about your diet and your overall lifestyle, and you need to have them make a recommendation ‘cause I bet you it has something to do with environmental conditions.” And she gets on the internet and reads all this stuff and gives me a very convincing argument.

So, I go to the doctor and the doctor – this homeopathic doctor says, “No, no, no. You don’t wanna take anything to suppress that. Your body is cleansing itself. It does that every spring. Part of it’s triggered by the dandelions that grow up.” I never knew that God had dandelions for any reason –

(Laughter)

− other than to annoy men who mow lawns.

(Laughter)

“And the dandelions come up and”, he says, “it triggers a releasing of some of the toxins in the liver and your body is cleansing itself. That’s why you have so much congestion. What you need to do is drink nettle tea. That’ll speed up the process and your body will cleanse itself and you’ll be healthy.” Nettle tea. Okay. I drink nettle tea; I’m great because of my wife. And then she was, “Is that a ministry?” Yes. See, what we’ve done is in this dualism, we say, “Oh, there’s the body and the soul. We do ministry to the soul.” Do we just do ministry to the soul? Didn’t Jesus heal sick people? Didn’t he feed hungry people? We do ministry to the body as well. And a woman who has wisdom, she understands this. She understands that for her friends, and for her children, and for her husband, and for whomever she’s in relationship with, that she can promote well being and health. And in so doing, she is benefiting them and that is part of her ministry. You ever wonder why in the Old Testament it has a lot to say about what you should and should not eat? It has a lot to say about sanitation because God is concerned with the physical body.

So, here’s what I do with my beautiful wife and my kids last night. I went to the grocery store. “Oh, this is gonna be great.” Here’s what we do. Okay, first, you know, you’re real busy. You don’t have time to feed your kids breakfast, so you grab one of these and they can eat it on the bus on the way to school. This is a breakfast Lunchable, also known as a demon in a box.

(Laughter)

It comes – here’s what you get for breakfast. You give this to your kid. Okay, first, we give them a drink. Now, it looks like orange juice ‘cause it has an orange on it. Is this really orange juice?

Response: No.

No, the main ingredient, water and sugar. It’s sugar water. So, you give that to your kid, send your six year old crack addict off to kindergarten.

(Laughter)

Wonder why the principal keeps calling because there’s discipline issues. Then, you get two little tiny cinnamon rolls, and then you get some sort of apple quasi paste –

(Laughter)

− and this other thing here in a bag that isn’t even on the periodic chart, but somehow it made it into this little bag. Now, how many grams of fat in this breakfast? Twelve grams of fat. Most of it, sugar. Most of what is in here is sugar. You put that in a kid and you send ‘em off to school. Okay? And you say, “Jeez, I don’t know. My kid is really hopped up. I think they need meds ‘cause they’re, you know, they’re really hyperactive.”

(Laughter)

“So, yeah, here you go, Johnny. Here’s your pills. Wash it down with some Mountain Dew. You’ll be just fine.”

(Laughter)

So, you don’t have time to make lunch. My favorite Lunchable that I saw. I tell you my favorite too. My favorite one was cheese and crackers. Now, is it that hard to make cheese and crackers, that you have to put a kit together? Like, you put a block of cheese in one bag and crackers in the other. You’re like, “I don’t know, that’s a – no, no.”

(Laughter)

“That’s a lot.” You know? So, you buy those. The other one that I love, they now have frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for kids’ lunches. They’re frozen because, after all, who has time to put jelly on bread?

(Laughter)

I’m like –

(Laughter)

− it’s amazing. And they’re frozen. You put ‘em in the kids bag and they thaw out by the time it’s lunch. Right? Which, I’m sure is too, not only nutritious and healthful, but very tasty, I’m certain.

(Laughter)

Here is the lunch you can get for your kids. Ultimate nachos.

(Laughter)

Okay? Guys are like, “Hey, don’t blaspheme.”

(Laughter)

This is wrong, okay? You get cheese. It’s not cheese, though, is it? Because if you put cheese in a box and let it sit there for six to eight years –

(Laughter)

− it’s not cheese, right? It’s anthrax. And so –

(Laughter)

− you can’t put real cheese in here. You gotta put processed, quasi, sorta cheese. A lot of you are like, “What does this have to do with the Bible?” Everything. We’re talking about wisdom and folly. This – this would be folly.

(Laughter)

They give you the chips, the nachos and the salsa. Okay, not only that, what do you have to wash it down with?

Response: (Inaudible comment).

A coke. A coke. And then, in here too, there is a candy bar. And it says right here – where is it? Oh, yeah, it also comes too with shock tarts candy.

(Laughter)

Shock tarts candy.

(Laughter)

Oh, yeah, you’re kid won’t have any problem listening to a math lecture after that. And, in addition, it – this pop is wide mouth. Why? So, the child can, basically, have an internship for beer bonging in college.

(Laughter)

As much as possible down their throat.

(Laughter)

After all, kids are in such a hurry, they don’t have time to sip the pop. They have to just guzzle it all down at once.

(Laughter)

How many grams of fat? One lunch, 32 grams of fat. Ohhh.

(Laughter)

Okay? Let’s do another one. Then, they come home. You’re real busy. You don’t have time to cook dinner. That’s okay, there’s hamburgers.

(Laughter)

Meat in a box for a month? Just connect the dots in your own head. And there’s two of ‘em.

(Laughter)

And you put this in your kid. This is spackle, okay?

(Laughter)

Your kid is gonna have major digestive issues. Not only do you have the burger, you have processed American cheese to put on it with condiments, and you get a pop, and there’s chocolate for dessert. And it says here, “A good source of calcium.” Now, where do you think the calcium’s coming from? The chocolate.

(Laughter)

Mom’s like, “Calcium. Well, that’s nutrition.” No. America, now listen to these words. “Pasteurized, processed cheese food.”

(Laughter)

Cheese food. I’ll tell you this. Any time they have a food that has an ish on the end, don’t put it in your body. That is cheese-ish.

(Laughter)

What in the world? How many grams of fat? Fourteen grams of fat. Fourteen grams of fat. Not only that, then your kid comes home. That’s okay, they’re gonna be hungry. They need some cookies. This whole package deal. Whole package deal. These little, tiny cookies, they have this stuff right here? What is this?

Response: Sugar.

That is frosting. Because not only do kids need the cookie, they need to dip it in the frosting. It’s like a crack addict with a drink in his hand. It’s like, if one wasn’t bad enough, this should put you over the top. Okay, just a couple of little cookies. One serving, how many grams of fat? Ten grams of fat. Right there, you’re looking at about almost 60 grams of fat. And the kid’s drunk a glass of sugar water, two cokes, eaten a bunch of cookies, some chocolate balls. We wonder why he’s got behavioral disorders. Maybe he needs to go through rehab. That’s why.

(Laughter)

You see? You see what we do? Like, we – that’s why we’re serving breakfast in schools now ‘cause this is what kids are eating for breakfast. And the woman says, “Well, I wanna do ministry.” I’ll tell you ladies what. This is ministry too. It counts. It certainly counts. And you have friends, and family, and relatives that are ruining their bodies and don’t know it. If you have wisdom, instruction, and knowledge, and you know how to speak it with pleasant words, you’d be a big help to a lot of people. We’ll just keep going.

Proverbs 31:16. “She considers a field and buys it and out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.” This is finances and investing. A woman needs to be good with her money, know how to invest that for a good return.

In Proverbs 31:21, “When it snows, she has no fear for her household. All of them are clothed in scarlet.” This is clothing. I dare you. Park outside of an elementary school and watch the kids coming out and see if their mom forgot to get ‘em a coat. Warm clothes for the winter. It’s amazing. This woman here, she knows what’s coming and she’s getting ready to outfit her children in advance.

Someone that I know very well, their child just got sent home from elementary school because the mother sent the child to school, not with boots, wearing just the lining from the boots and it was raining out, and the kid was soaking wet, and their feet. ___ ___ was what? Because mom didn’t pay any attention to anything. You guys and I all went to school with kids who, when it was winter, they didn’t have a coat. They didn’t have gloves. They didn’t have a hat. Why? Because their mom had no wisdom. See, it’s all ministry. It’s the whole person that you’re working with here.

She has ministry to her husband as well. Proverbs 21:9, “Better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” One of the ways that a woman tears down her house is she’s just unpleasant so her husband doesn’t even wanna come home. That’s what it says in the next verse, Proverbs 27:8, “Like a bird that strays from his nest is a man who strays from his home.” That doesn’t excuse the fact that men don’t come home, but if their wife is unpleasant, there is a cause and effect relationship.

Here’s another one. Proverbs 31:11-12. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm all the days of his life.” In this context of Proverbs 31, he could trust her with anything. The kids, theology, investments. The homeward domain is hers and she is fully skilled and competent and there’s nothing he can’t trust her with. She can do it all.

And lastly, Proverbs 31:22, “She makes coverings for her bed. She is clothed in fine linen and purple.” Ladies, if you’re married, this’ll make sense. If you’re single, this may not make a lot of sense. Gentlemen, when your wife dresses nicely, is that a ministry?

Response: Yes.

Yes!

(Laughter)

You look at your wife and you go, “Awww.” She says, “Does this look good?” and you say, “Awww. We were gonna go out, now we’re not. That looks really good.”

(Laughter)

It can become ostentatious. It can become overdone. According to the New Testament, some women are just over the top, trying to look at runway models down at the grocery store. But, there is a place where a woman who dresses herself nicely is a ministry to her husband.

It is an honor when a husband looks at his wife and finds her to be lovely. She should consider that a tremendous honor. Just something to think about.

Not only that, how the woman dresses herself, how she dresses her what, ladies? Proverbs 31:22.

Response: Her bed.

Her bed. Oh. Now, we’re connecting some very important dots.

(Laughter)

When you have a woman who carries herself well and she has a bedroom that is elegant, is that a ministry? Yes.

(Laughter)

That’s a great ministry. Every man considers that a ministry. Now, some women will say, “Well, I’m home with the children now and I don’t go out and no one sees me. So, I don’t need to take a shower and I can wear sweats all day. After all, no one sees me.” The husband says, “Well, I’m here.”

(Laughter)

Now, how many men, when you got married, you noticed that the bed that you were in with your wife was considerably different than the one you had slept in previously as a single man?

(Laughter)

All of a sudden, what was on your bed?

Response: Pillows.

Response: Sheets.

Sheets.

(Laughter)

Single men never change their sheets.

(Laughter)

Most single men sleep in sleeping bags.

(Laughter)

Men? Testify. Thank you.

(Laughter)

Many, many single men put a sleeping bag on the bed because then you don’t have to make it.

(Laughter)

Now, I don’t know a lot of single women who sleep in a sleeping bag. A man’s goal is to reduce his life to as close as camping as humanly possible.

(Laughter and applause)

True.

(Laughter)

Right? Women aren’t that way.

(Laughter)

In college, I lived with a guy. He slept in army cot.

(Laughter)

I said, “Why?” He said, when I move, (Clapping), I just put it together and leave. It’s very simple.

(Laughter)

Now, when you get married, ladies, what should be on a bed?

Response: Sheets.

Sheets. Okay, good start. What kind of sheets? Need they match?

Response: Yes.

Are they allowed to have cartoon characters or sports teams?

Response: No.

(Laughter)

Response: Flowers.

No, that’s a sin. We do church discipline for that.

(Laughter)

What else should be a on a bed, ladies?

Response: Pillows.

Pillows. How many pillows? Women always have lots of pillows.

(Laughter)

And then, pillows you’re not allowed to put your head on. Why?

(Laughter)

Why?

Response: They’re decorative.

Those are decorative pillows.

(Laughter)

Decorative pillows. Really? And the pillow cases match. What else is on a bed, ladies?

Response: Blankets.

Blankets. Not only blankets. There’s a special blanket on top.

(Laughter)

It’s very nice. Usually, a comforter. Something very nice, very elegant, very pretty. And what is around the bottom of the bed?

Response: A bedskirt.

There’s a dust ruffle.

(Laughter)

Like the woman, the bed needs a skirt.

(Laughter)

Any single men here have a dust ruffle?

(Laughter)

Don’t raise your hand. We will be beat you mercilessly.

(Laughter)

Response: It’s the story.

(Laughter)

That’s right. Do you see what I’m saying? A woman’s ministry is her bed and her person. And a man looks at his wife, and he looks at his home, and he looks at his bed and he says, “This is a nice place to be. I like it here. This is a ministry. All these things that women don’t assume are important, men, all of us – if men are wise. Dumb men go, “What are you doing?”

(Laughter)

That’s a dumb man.

(Laughter)

When you have a lovely wife, and a lovely home, and a lovely bed, you have a lovely life. That’s what a man thinks.

Here’s our ministry to others as well. Just some things to think about. Proverbs 9. I love this one. “Wisdom has built her house. She has hewn it out of it’s seven pillars. She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine.” Gentlemen, is that a ministry? Meat and drink.

(Laughter)

Every man will tell you, ohhh, a nice table with a beautiful woman; a hunk of some animals flesh –

(Laughter)

− and maybe an import beer, not a light beer, ‘cause we don’t sin against God.

(Laughter)

That’s a ministry, right? How many men think that a beautiful woman, with a beautiful table, and piece of meat, and maybe a nice glass of wine or a nice beer is a ministry?

Response: Amen.

(Laughter)

Amen! That’s a ministry. See, I’m very committed –

(Laughter)

− to ministry.

(Laughter)

I don’t – we just need to redefine what we’re talking about.

(Laughter)

Let’s do memory verses. No. Let’s do meat.

(Laughter)

See, when we tend to think of ministry, we tend to think of these spiritual things. I think Scripture’s way more practical. “She has set her table.” Ladies, how do you set a – men, how do you set a table?

(Laughter)

Table.

(Laughter)

Table.

(Laughter)

Ladies set a table. Can you walk into a room and know whether it was a man or a woman who set the table?

Response: Yes.

Yes. Women have this art of setting a table. It is amazing to see a woman who can set a table. Until I got married, I don’t think I ever touched a cloth napkin. Now, I’ve been ministered too.

(Laughter)

A woman sets her table. Flowers, candles, tablecloth, dishes, food, smell. All the senses are engaged. It’s an act of worship just to be there. A woman sets her table. How many of the ladies, this is important to you? The way your table looks is a big deal, right? And I’ll tell you this, ladies. Don’t believe all the Martha Stewart hype. A table in a home is not just for looks; it’s for friendship, community, inviting people in. That’s what this woman’s gonna do. “She has sent her maid. She has called from the highest point of the city, ‘Let all who are simple come in here’, she says to those who lack judgment. ‘Come eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live. Walk in the way of understanding’.” What is she doing? This woman has her home. She’s wise. She sets her table. And she invites in people who either don’t know God or do know him and have a lot of foolish thinking going on.

And over the meal, she imparts wisdom, and Biblical instruction, and insight. And she helps them walk from folly into wisdom. That is a glorious ministry. Here’s the silly thing that I hear all the time. “Women should go into full time ministry.” Women are in full time ministry. The only question is whether or not they’re doing a good job. Well, let me ask you this, ladies. What is the average size of the average church in the United States of America? About 70 people. Maybe 75, it varies. Ladies, if every week, you set your table and invited five people over for dinner, how many people would you have in your congregation? About 260. Do you know that 80 percent of the churches in the United States of America are 200 or more? You could do that at your dinner table. Once a week, five people over for dinner. You say – see, here’s my thing too. I live under no illusion that the most important thing we do is get together and hear me yell for an hour, an hour and a half, two hours, whatever I’m feeling like.

The most important thing is when you go home and live according to Biblical principles and open up your homes to invite others in to learn Scripture, to pray, to hear about Jesus. That is the most important thing. Because I can sit here all day and if you don’t go live practically in your homes for Christ, we are accomplishing nothing. How many of you ladies love the concept of having people into your home who either don’t know Christ or need to learn, and you using the fullness of your gifting, including your theology, to pour into them and see life change? Most women I know love that. Why? Because God made them that way. It would be foolish to say, “She should do important things.” It’s like, “She is doing important – it’s amazingly important.” How many of you came to Christ because someone invited you into their home and into their life, and through that hospitality, you saw and heard the Gospel and it clicked for you? Hugely important. Hugely important.

And in our culture, we have lost any sense of hospitality, haven’t we? We don’t even know our neighbors. And if you invite your neighbors over, are they automatically assuming that you have something good in store? They assume the worst. “Hey, you just moved in. Would you like to come over to our house for dinner?” “Why?” “Well, we just wanna talk to ‘ya.” “You’re not into Amway, are you?”

(Laughter)

“No, I’m not into Amway.” “So, what – well, what do you want?” ‘cause there’s this assumption that we exist to take from each other, and if you’re inviting people in just to give to them, it’s almost like you’re motives are suspect. They’re spurious. It’s a counter culture. Nobody does this. Nobody is hospitable. And even in the homes now that we’re building, we don’t build homes with large living rooms and large dining rooms. We build homes with large entertainment centers and we build homes that have large home offices because we’re going to be there by ourselves all the time. And we don’t have homes where there’s parking, so we can have people over. We’ve set up our whole world so that we continue the isolation and the individualism. And then, we wonder why it’s so hard to ministry. It’s ‘cause the ministry was supposed to be happening around the dining room table or in the living room. \

Here’s some women in Scripture who did this practically. Here’s some examples. You remember Elisha? Elisha was a prophet of God in the Old Testament, and he had no place to lay his head. He was homeless, traveling. So, what did the Shunammite woman do? She was probably an older woman without children. She opened her home to Elisha. Not only that, she created an addition on her home so that he could stay there and be fed. How about Mary and Martha? Were they married or single, ladies?

Response: Single.

Single. And what was their ministry to the Lord Jesus? A place to sleep and something to eat. Did Jesus appreciate their ministry? He loves them. You will see very few people in the New Testament Jesus goes to visit as much as Mary and Martha. He loves Mary and Martha very dearly, and he has a friendship with these two women that is very unique in the New Testament. Why? Because they were hospitable. He would stay at their home when he was traveling, and they would feed him, and love him, and minister to him. Single women.

How about the early church? They met in the temple courts and where? The Bible says from house to house. God added to their number daily. How? From house to house. Families opening their – how much is it a ministry to you whom are single if a married couple with children opens their home and invites you in to be part of their family? It’s a huge ministry. A lot of families say, “Oh, well, you know, it’s just me and my spouse and my kids having dinner.” Well, to a single person, they don’t have that. They spend most of their meals eating alone or in their car. How many single guys think that a home cooked meal with a family is a ministry? It’s an enormous ministry. It’s one that we really appreciate. I can remember in college, my wife and I, we were dating at the time, met this family. They had six kids, I think, at the time. Now, they have 11 kids. They have one boy.

(Laughter)

I don’t think he has ever been to the bathroom in his whole life.

(Laughter)

They are a wonderful family who loves the Lord. And they invite – we went into this church – this great church that we ended up plugging into. It was my first church. And it was a great church. And they invited – the reason we stuck at the church and the reason why we grew so much, I think, was in part that they had us over to dinner at their house. We sat down with the six kids, and the mom, and the dad, and they just loved us and answered our questions. And she had an amazing amount of wisdom. He knew his Bible very well and we’d ask questions, and they’d just talk and visit and hang out. It was glorious. And my wife and I, then, we started taking our Friday nights and volunteering to babysit their kids while they would go out on date night. And it was a ministry to us to learn how to parent by spending some time with their kids and see their family. It was a ministry to them to be able to go out.

And I can remember the first time we went over for dinner, we came time to pray and all the kids prayed, including like a little two year old. And then, they all sang, May God Bless You and Keep You. And, for me, it was just like I’d walked into a different world. And I remember when we left town, we loved this family very much. When we left town, there’s was the last house out of town after graduation. My wife and I packed up. We’d gotten married and we’re leaving, and we stopped to see them last. And we went in and we kissed all the kids and said goodbye to the family. It was a very emotional moment. We’re walking out to the car and all the kids start singing, May God Bless You and Keep You. Like the von Trapp family.

(Laughter)

I just started bawling. I was like, I have – to me, I mean, the Gospel was so living and active, and God was so present, that it was a powerful, powerful, powerful point of instruction for me. You know, for them, they just thought we were playing with the kids, not for me. Not for me at all.

The early church, the families opened their homes and a lot of the people that they invited in were people who had come to Christ and so their Jewish families had kicked them out. And so, now they needed a new family. How many of you, your family is disintegrated and you need a new family? And the church is supposed to be that. After all, we’re brothers and sisters, right? Older women are like mothers. Isn’t that what the Bible says?

How about Lydia? Was she married or single, ladies?

Response: Single.

Single. Was she a successful business woman?

Response: Yes.

Very much so. She was good with money. She was a sharp gal. Lydia was probably, maybe a little bit older, established, single, businesswoman. Paul preaches – share the Gospel with her. She comes to saving faith in Christ. What does she do for the Apostle Paul? She invites him into her home for a bite to eat. Why? He has given her Christ. She is going to minister to him with her gifts. Not only that, when it comes time to plant the church in that town, where do they begin? Lydia’s house. And I would submit to you that it is likely that most of that ministry, initially, was probably funded by Lydia. She’s probably very affluent.

Where did Mars Hill start? My house. We’ll have over 1,000 people in church today. It started at my house. Just like Lydia, my wife was working full time. She was very successful, making good money, climbing the corporate ladder and I realized that it was more important for her to work with me in the Gospel than it was to do that. And so did she, and so, she quit and we launched this church together in the living room of our home. You’re here because of the beginning of my wife’s hospitality. We didn’t have a place to meet, so we met in our living room and my wife allowed people to come in and to taste our family and the church came out of that.

A couple of others. Paul, how about Priscilla and Aquila? Married couple. What do they do in their home with Apollos? Apollos is a brilliant scholar, a great preacher. Doesn’t know Christ. Jewish. They invite him into the home. Priscilla and Aquila both sit down, open the Bible and answer his questions. He comes to faith. How many ladies love to see people come to Christ in their living room when them and their husbands are sitting there answering their questions? You wanna have a good marriage? How about that? There’s nothing funner than a husband and a wife opening the Bible, answering the questions, seeing people come to Christ on their couch. That’s glorious. You can do that for 50 years and never get bored. Priscilla and Aquila, as well, they’re a married team and they travel with Paul, help plant churches. In Roman 16, I think it’s around verse 5, it says, “Greet Priscilla and Aquila in Rome and the church that meets in their house.” Priscilla and Aquila are launching churches out of their home. Husband and wife working together. Paul met people in their homes. The end of his ministry, the end of Acts, he opens up his rented house. A single man opens up his house and has lots of people through.

And lastly, the church says that the elders are supposed to be hospitable. Manage their home well and then invite you into their home. In Hebrews 13:7 says that, “Then you should imitate their way of faith and the outcome of their way of living.” What that means is the elders and the pastors of the church should have their house in order and you should be coming into their house for ministry. Every elder in this church has their home open once a week teaching a Bible study. You’re welcome to go to their house, meet their family, get to know them. That’s the way we do it.

I figured it out and my wife and I, we just cut back a little bit ‘cause she had the baby. We’re ramping up again here in two weeks. We’re gonna take one night a week and start having people over for dinner. I figure if we can have six or eight people a week, you know, we can get through 300-400 people a year, just over dinner, which would be awesome. We’ve done that in the past. And I figured it out, between Bible studies and everything else, there was a year there, about a year ago, we had average of over 60 people a week in our home. That’s 3,000 people a year in our home. So, ladies, when I tell you that it is your ministry to build your home, I hope in no way you see this as a denigration. The Bible doesn’t do that.

And I will say this, too. You look around. We cannot see everyone we have this morning in this building. This church cannot grow until God provides more space. We’re at six services. We can’t do anymore than that. We will – people ask, “Why don’t you have Sunday School?” We don’t have room for Sunday School. “Well, you do more programming mid-week.” We don’t have room. We don’t have parking. The way God has forced this church to operate is through your homes. See that? Some of you will say, “Well, it’s too bad. You don’t have a big building.” In some ways, I wouldn’t mind having a bigger place for worship, but that doesn’t mean we’re gonna do everything in the church ‘cause everything else should be happening through your homes. It’s not high school kids in this room, college kids in this room, single people in this room, married people in this room. It’s people coming together as families, in homes, with hospitality to study Scripture, and to do life together, not as individuals, but as a family. As a community.

And I’ll tell you this, ladies. The whole church is riding on your backs. It is. We cannot grow. We cannot operate unless women here build good, wise homes and are hospitable. We cannot do it. And so, it’s funny to me. I hear women say, “Well, you just – you reduce women to the role of homebuilders.” It’s like, yeah, that’s the foundation that the whole church is riding on. I hope they don’t view that as diminished. We desperately need them and everything is riding on their ability to do this. Do you understand this world I’m talking about? It’s a totally different world, but it’s a Biblical world.

Here’s some questions then. Are you gonna – if you’re a rental, how can you accommodate hospitality in your rental? Are you going to buy? If so, where are you going to buy and what are you going to buy? Look at issues of parking, and seating, and feeding, and even housing. Accommodating of guests. What ministry do you want to happen in your home? Prayer? Bible study? Fellowship? Worship? Socializing? What do you want? Does your budget permit it? Does your schedule permit it? Do you actually do it? And it takes time and money.

And if you’re single, are you doing it? If you’re planning on being married, are you preparing for that? If you’re a single man, are you preparing so that you can buy a home?

Last two things I’ll close with. One, Ecclesiastes 3 says, “There’s a time and a season for everything.” Ladies, you will go through different seasons in your life. When you’re single, that’s one season. When you get married and you’re both working to pay off your debt and buy your house, that’s another season. When you have a kid, that’s a whole new season. When you have a few children, that’s a totally different season. When your children are young, that’s a totally different season that when your children are older. A lot of your life is going to continually adjust itself as your life is moving along. So, it may not be that a woman who has four kids who are all under the age of eight is going to be doing a lot of real estate. And maybe a woman who has raised her children, she has 30, 40, 50 hours a week to do a business on the side that she’s running from her home and also, you know, go out and teach children at a school or disciple other women, or run a ministry, or whatever, that your life, and your flexibility, and your time will adjust itself. But, as you learn wisdom through the practical things, then when you’re older in life, God gives you more time because now you have more wisdom. Now, you have time and wisdom. When you’re younger, you’re learning as you go.

And what I’m not saying is that a woman is bound to her home. She can never leave the four walls of the room. I’m saying that she works from her home as her base, and that her influence extends out, but it is also for the purpose of blessing her home. That’s her first priority.

And the last thing I’ll distinguish is there is a difference between principles and methods, okay? Principally, the Bible talks about these things. Methodologically, that is up to you to figure out how to implement that. You don’t all need to do your diet the way my wife does. You do not all need to do things the way that my family does. Principally, you should do these things. Methodologically, you need to have wisdom to figure out how to do that for your home, okay? Legalism is when I tell you, “You know, the Bible says you have to have a table that seats eight and parking for five. You need to have two couches, not one; otherwise, we’re gonna have to kick you out of the church.” We’re not talking about that kind of control. We’re talking, principally, how to set up your life in such a way that the home is the base of ministry and extends to the ends of the earth.

Ladies, do you understand what I’m talking about? Men, will you join me in affirming this rather than belittling the contributions of the ladies in our midst because they’re different than us. We tend to view those as secondary or unnecessary. Some guys who are total knuckleheads actually make fun of it.

We now respond to God. The primary way you respond is you look at your life, your days, your money, and you reorganize stuff to fit the Biblical paradigm. You go live it. Part of it is you repent of the ways in which, perhaps, you believed some things that aren’t true and sought your autonomy, rather than community; sought to be a consumer rather than a participant; sought to isolate yourself rather than connect yourself from those who are in need. Part of it as well, is we respond to God through tithes and offerings. If you’re a visitor or a non-Christian, thanks for coming. Don’t give. Good to have you. For everybody else, it’s part of our act of worship to pay the bills for this house. And we respond through communion, which is remembering Jesus’ body and blood. God came, lived, died, rose, conquered our enemies of Satan, sin, and death, not just to forgive us, but to change us so that we’re new people and we don’t live according to the wisdom of the world; that we’re not counter cultural people, glorifying God and not ourselves.

So, God thanks for a chance to get together and study your Word. Lord God, I thank you for the ladies in this church. I thank you that, Lord God, for the vast majority of the women in this church that I know of do open their lives and homes, and do concern themselves with their husbands, and their children, and their friends, and their church. And they have just a wide myriad of influence that extends from their homeward orientation. Lord God, it is my prayer that you would give the women a lot of wisdom how to think through all of these issues and plan for the many seasons of their lives.

Lord God, I pray for the men, that we would increasingly find the contributions of the women to be not only invaluable, but just great and tremendous blessings and ministries to us, and to everyone.

And, Lord God, I pray for the future generations that’ll come out of this home. Some of the people with us this morning are single and it seems like a long way off but, at some point, they may have children and grandchildren and be building a legacy as well. Pray for wisdom on how to do that.

Lord God, we love you and we thank you, that you have forgiven us of our sins, that you have come to dwell within us and make us your home. You’ve come to dwell in our church and make it your home and that you are coming to take us to your home where we will see you face to face. And we love you and we look forward to that day. In Christ’s name, Amen.