Good morning, guys.

Response: Good morning, pastor.

Did you like that dulcimer?

Response: Yeah.

I like that dulcimer. That’s nice. Thank you, Tim. Put together a new worship team and their first time out. Very, very nice. I like that dulcimer. We’ll go to Psalm 127, 128. Any guys get to lock in their four wheel drive this morning?

(Laughter)

Feeling particularly masculine? Gotta love that. I’ll pray and we’ll get going. I’ll say one prefacory comment this morning. Talking about mama. We all love mama. Some of you single ladies or men will thank, “Oh, gosh. Mama. I’m not a mama”, but you may know a mama. You may have a mama. Somehow, this does apply to you.

(Laughter)

Maybe someday you will be a mama or you’ll marry someone who will be a mama. So, eventually, this may all correspond to you. We’re gonna do a little preventative maintenance this morning and talk about mama. And then, we’re gonna get into children, four weeks, and we’re gonna get into dating, courtship. We’re gonna get into food, alcohol, and you can see how this all comes together. If you’re married, have a few drinks, you’ll end up with babies. That’s how it’s all gonna go down.

(Laughter)

I’ll pray and we’ll get going. Turn to Psalm 127.

God, thanks for a chance to study, get together. Pray for brothers and sisters throughout the city who are driving in the snow today to get home from church or get to church. I pray, Lord God, for safety upon all your kids. Thank you for those whom are able to join us this morning, and thank you for your Word, that we get to study, and read it, and learn from it. And thank you, God, that you put your Holy Spirit in your children so that we can be instructed, and we can be convicted, and we can be conformed to the image of Christ. We’re grateful for that and that’s we seek this morning, in his name, Amen.

Psalm 127 and 128; just do a brief reading here. It says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stands guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat, for he grants sleep to those he loves. Sons are heritage from the Lord and children a reward from him.” That’ll be our topic this morning.

“Like arrows in the hands of the warrior, sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” A guy who is blessed to have many children. “They will not be put to shame when they content with their enemies at the city gate.” It’s always a benefit to have a few boys.

Psalm 128, “Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor. Blessings and prosperity will be yours.” Here’s what happens when God’s grace is on a home. “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house. Your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus, is the man blessed who fears the Lord. May the Lord bless you from Zion all the days of your life. May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem and may you live to see your children’s children. Peace be upon Israel.” It’s the good life. The good life is your marry a woman who loves the Lord if you’re a man. That you have many children. That you sit around your dinner table with all your kids and you love your wife and your wife loves you. You love your kids. Your kids love you. You all love the Lord. The Lord loves you. That there is peace upon your home. That there is blessing upon your home. And that in addition to that, you are a blessing to the city that God has called you to. That’s the good life according to the Scriptures.

What we’re gonna talk about this morning is the role of mom in this kind of family; the important, vital ministry that she has. The first thing we see in Scripture in Genesis 1 is that motherhood is a calling that women were created for. I will say this. I will say that all women that I have ever seen mother. Some women say, “Well, I don’t want to be a mother.” You are a mother. The issue is what are you mothering? True, ladies? Women who do not have children, what do they mother?

Response: Jobs.

Response: Cats.

Their job, cats.

(Laughter)

Some women call their cats their kids. Those are not your kids. Those are your cats.

(Laughter)

Sometimes, it’s a dog. It’s a bird. It’s a pet. It’s a hobby. It’s a relational social network. It’s a ministry. It’s a job. A lot of ladies end up mothering something, someone, somewhere. God had built them for it and that is good. It’s amazing. I know a guy who works with a single lady. She brings Echinacea when everyone is sick, and chicken soup, and always brings cookies.

(Laughter)

She says, “I don’t wanna have kids. He says, “I am your child.”

(Laughter)

Women are called to mother. And mothering is a high and noble task. In Genesis 1:28, God blessed them, the mom and dad, the husband and wife, said to them, “Be fruitful, increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it.” That’s creation. Here’s the issue, ladies. You’re supposed to have a lot of children, but just not a lot of children, not just multiplication, but fruitful multiplication. Some people think, “We’re a good Biblical family because we have a lot of kids.” Not if those children are demons. That’s not exactly what God was talking about. He doesn’t want 17 disobedient, wild, reprobate children. It is a beautiful thing to have many children. They are considered an absolute blessing from God, but you want them to be fruitful. The problem in our society is that there are a number of children, but they are not fruitful children. And so, having children is a lot simpler than raising children to be fruitful. And the duty of fruitful child raising falls, in large part, the role of mom. She should be leading, teaching, instructing, disciplining, involving herself actively in those children’s affairs to cause them to be fruitful. And so, within that, though, this task has become far more complicated, according to Genesis 3. The woman sins. God places a curse upon the woman.

Genesis 3:16, to the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing. With pain, you will give birth to children and your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.” Because of her sin, a woman suffers complications in her life. Her tendency is to rule over her husband. Sometimes, it begins with her boyfriend and then, just continues forward. In addition, she will have children and that process will be painful for her, right? If you’ve ever seen a woman give birth to a child, you know that this is, in fact, true. It is painful. Not only the birthing, but the raising of the children is hard work for a woman. It is painful toil. That does not mean that the children are a curse. The children are not the curse. In the same way, the man was created to work and the ground underneath him that he is working is cursed. Work is not the curse for the man. The ground is just making it much more difficult for him to do his task.

In the same way the children are not a curse, but because the woman’s sphere is cursed, it becomes much harder for her to get pregnant, to have children, the painful toil of birthing children and then, the hard, due diligence of raising children. And so, a woman needs to know going in that this is work and this is not easy. Now, because of that, some women have viewed that the children are the curse, so they don’t wanna have children. So, we have a society that creates, for example, birth control. Abortion. Daycare. Foster care. Whatever it is, places to either avoid having children or, if we have children, to avoid the hard work of raising them because they view the children as the curse. That’s where some women, even married women, they will get pregnant and they will say that they got pregnant, as if they got cancer. “I’m pregnant. I have cancer.”

(Laughter)

And it’s not a Biblical understanding of children at all. It says that, you know, “Blessed is the fruitful vine. What happens then is that Paul tells us that, “The world in its wisdom does not know God and we should no longer be conformed to the pattern of this world.” We should be transformed by the renewing of our minds. That people who don’t understand God look at children as the curse, and we should not. Statistically, what this means, ladies, is for you, if you’re going to be a Biblical woman, you will be swimming upstream against a very strong social current.

I pulled this out of this magazine I was reading this week. It’s The World Future Society. It’s people that are actually professionals in their field that are projection into the future what the society will look like. And this is the 50 leading trends. And there was one in here that I found interesting. It’s about women and motherhood. It says, “Between 1996 and 2006, the number of women employed in the United States will grow from 61.8 million to 70.6 million, an increase of 14 percent. In addition, by 2005, 63 percent of working age women will be in the labor force, up from 58.8 percent in 1996.”

Now, you say, “Well, this is, obviously, single women and single mothers who are working because they can’t afford to stay home with their children, right? In fact, no. It says, “In 75 percent of households, both partners will work full time by the year 2005, up from 63 percent in 1992.” The trend is, even if you get married and make good money, you’re still not going to raise your own children. Statistically, three quarters of women will be in the workforce. And here’s what happens. It’s interesting to me. Women who don’t wanna raise their children, who raises their children for them? Other women. If they don’t great money, usually it falls on the grandparents, usually grandma. But, for these women who are going to be working and living in relative affluence, they will put that responsibility on professionals – nannies, daycares, organizations, institutions. How many of you ladies, don’t need to necessarily raise your hand – are working as a nanny or in a daycare operation, and you see that circumstance and you would never put your kids there? I have yet to meet a nanny or a daycare worker who’s a young woman who says, “This is exactly what I want for my kids.”

(Laughter)

Because she knows that it would be much better if she were able to just raise, discipline, instruct her own children rather than handing off this great ministry opportunity to someone else. Here is, statistically, what is going to happen. It says, “This emphasis on work is one of the big reasons the richest 25 to 50 percent of the population has reached zero population growth. Those women who choose careers choose not to be mothers. They have to choose between homeward orientation and marketplace, and marketplace, in our society, dominates and so, children are not – not pursued.”

Now, sex is pursued. Sometimes, pregnancy is pursued, but not children. “They have no time for children and little interest in having large families.” To have a large enough family to be a freak walking around in Seattle, how many children do you need?

Response: One.

One.

(Laughter)

Statistically, per capita, we are the least likely city in the United States of America to have children, other than San Francisco. The city does not have children. Here, an enormous family is three people. Four people. Five people. Three kids? What are you, Mormon?

(Laughter)

“Because marketplace dominates and homeward orientation is not widely appreciated. So, they have no time for children and little interest in having large families.” Now, what they often do have is children, but it’s much later in life, sort of out of this, really, this selfish interest that, “Oh, I need affection or I need a little kid” or “I need somebody to carry on my name” or, usually, it’s driven by a very selfish interest. “The implications, this article says, “demand for on the job childcare, extended parental leave and other family oriented benefits can only grow. In the long run, this could erode the profitability of some American companies unless it is matched by an equal growth in productivity.” Here’s what happens. People that are making money don’t have children. People that aren’t making money are going to have children. And so, we will tax the people who are making money to pay for the services for those people who aren’t making money. And this whole myth that the more you work, the more you earn, is just that. It’s a myth. You take out of this person’s pocket and put it in this person’s pocket, and that is what’s happening socially. Our tax burden in this state – ninth highest in the nation. And you still can’t drive from here to Kirkland in less than an hour.

(Laughter)

We don’t have roads to drive on because the money is going to social services, in large part, because women and men, but women who have particular burden because they’re the one who births children, are not acting with wisdom. It goes on to say “Two career couples can afford to eat out often, take frequent short vacations, and buy new cars and other such goods, and they feel they deserve whatever timesavers and outright luxuries they can afford. This is quickly expanding the market for consumer goods and services, travel and leisure activity.” What this article is inferring is you will need to make a decision. “Am I going to eat out a lot? Am I going to take a lot of short vacations? Am I going to have a lot of leisure time? Or will I be a mother?”

I will tell you, Biblically, you’d be hard pressed to not choose being a mom. Just reading the Scriptures, you’ll be hard pressed to justify anything that looks like the contemporary American family. Be hard pressed.

Preparing for motherhood, then. How do you prepare? A lot of you women are saying, “I’m in. I just need a man.”

(Laughter)

“I’m short, you know, one part of the equation.”

(Laughter)

“But, I’m sold.” Now, guys, I want you to look at this. Have I not set the table for you?

(Laughter)

Right? I have loaded the bases. I have run it to full count.

(Laughter)

We have zero outs and I have handed you the bat.

(Laughter)

I have set the table. All you need to do is just put the bat on the ball and close the deal. It is amazing to me. We have a multitude of women who I think will be good mothers and do love the Lord, and they’re just waiting for a guy. Gentlemen, do you see an opportunity for you whom are single? Okay, you should.

(Laughter)

Here’s, though, ladies, what you do until or unless God causes you to be married and be a mother. First, you work on your character. You fear the Lord. Proverbs 31 talks about this great wife and mom. It says, “Charm is deceptive. Beauty if fleeting because gravity always wins and a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Okay. If a woman fears the Lord, that’s what causes her to be a great mom and a great wife. If she’s a great Christian, she’ll be a good mom and a good wife. So, you wanna woman who fears the Lord. We did a – I did a sermon on this. It’s on the net. You’re welcome to take The Fear of the Lord down, download it.

But, ladies, you wanna start. “Do I know the Lord? Do I fear the Lord? Do I love the Lord? Do I obey the Lord? Am I committed to the Lord? Am I reading my Bible? Am I growing in wisdom, knowledge and discipline as a result of my fear of the Lord? If so, then whatever God has for me, I will be prepared, particularly if it’s motherhood.” In addition, that’s what it tells us in Proverbs 1:7. That “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge, but fools despise wisdom, knowledge and discipline.” Foolish people don’t fear God and foolish people don’t have wisdom, and they don’t have discipline, and they don’t know what they’re doing with their life. And they are the majority. And you’ll need, ladies, to swim upstream, if you want to have a different outcome of life.

In addition, you will want to marry a righteous man who also fears the Lord. Here is what women do. Women marry men they love. Is that a problem? No. Titus 2 says that “Wives should love their husbands”, but it also says in Ephesians 5 that, “The wife should respect him.” You don’t, ladies, just marry a man who you love. You marry a man whom you also respect. If you don’t respect him, don’t marry him. If you’re single, don’t marry him unless you look at him and say, “I want my children to be exactly like him” because they will be. So, the ladies should wait until they find a man that they say, “I respect him. I love him. And if my children are like him, I will be pleased.” And she needs to factor that into her equation. So many young women get interested in a man and all they’re thinking is, “I will love him. I will be his mother. I will take care of him. I will fix him. I will carry him on my back.” And they realize that, after a while, that kind of love is like two drowning people out in the ocean, one just taking the other down. It’s not love. It’s death. And if a man can’t swim on his own, don’t go out to save him. Let him drown.

You need to marry a man who fears the Lord. A righteous man who respects the Lord. That’s what Proverbs says; 14:26, “He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress for his children. It will be a refuge.” And Proverbs 20:7, “The righteous man leads a blameless life. Blessed are his children after him.” See, the man builds a life and the children are born and they’re brought into his life. And if he is wise and he loves and fears the Lord and he’s righteous and walks in holiness, his children are blessed, just by virtue of being in his home. Conversely, if he is a wicked reprobate, he’s not good with his money, he’s not good with his tongue, he’s not good with his life, he’s not ambitious, his children will be cursed by being brought up in that home.

And then the last thing is that a wise woman, then, will build her home. She’ll build her character through God’s grace and the Scriptures. She will wait patiently for a man who loves her and fears the Lord, and then she will be married and she will build her home. Proverbs 14:1 says that, “A wise woman builds her home.” The wise woman in Proverbs 31 “Watches over the affairs of her household.” Paul says, in Titus 2 to, “Encourage the young women to be homeward in their orientation and build their home.”

So, you start thinking about money, and investing, and saving, and debt, and all of these things that we’ve been talking about as a church. And here’s the thing, ladies. If you fear the Lord and walk with him in holiness, and if you wait for man who loves you and who fears the Lord and walks in righteousness, then you get married, and then you build your home with wisdom, and children are brought into that home. Is that the way we do it here in America? Is that the way we do it in Seattle? No. You don’t start with fear of the Lord. You start with sexual attraction, and you go to bed.

And then, down line, we wonder why it looks like chaos and folly, and tonight four out of ten children will go to bed without a father. Well, it’s because the women didn’t understand the Biblical process. Righteousness. Patience. Waiting for a righteous man. And then, building your home and having sex as a married couple and having a place to bring the children into. If you don’t do that, then Proverbs, we will get into all of these variables that come in to destroy the children. To destroy the marriage. To destroy – the whole society, really, is riding on this issue of women having enough wisdom. And I can yell at the men all day, but if women are still easy, and cheap, and settle for B grade men, will anything change, ladies? No. Because men will rise to the level of expectation. If you have none, they will rise to that. They will be nothing.

Good women are some – it says in Scripture, we’re gonna give you this in dating and courtship. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. It says that, “He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” That’s what Proverbs says. Ladies, you should not be chasing men. Men should be seeking you. They should be finding you. That’s a righteous woman. And waiting to build a home. You should start with some Biblical assumptions of what you’re looking for and if you don’t, you will build a life that you hate and your children will e cursed and it will be years of painful toil.

Here are the objectives of motherhood. Motherhood, ladies, is not so that you can meet some need to be loved or liked. It is not for selfish purposes. Motherhood is not about the mother. Motherhood is about whom? It’s about God. Mothers are in full time ministry serving the Lord. Do mothers receive benefit and blessing? Absolutely. But, some days, will they just do it because it’s for the Lord? They should. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “Whatever you do, do it for the glory of the Lord.” Mothers are in full time ministry with one purpose. Honor the Lord. Glorify the Lord. Serve the Lord.

Here are some objectives as well. Folly is bound up in the heart of the child. Proverbs tells us as well, “Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” The mother’s job is not to just focus in on the behavior of the child but, instead, it’s the heart. Proverbs says that, “Out of the heart, comes life and that in a child’s heart is folly.” Psalm 51 says that, “Children are born in sin.” David says, “I was wicked from my mother’s womb.” If you believe that a child’s heart is basically good, then what you will do is try and encourage their esteem and nurture the goodness to come out of them. And when you do that, you get a nation that looks like ours. People who are reprobate, but think they’re really pretty wonderful.

You’ll see this on test scores. Our nation, in some categories, particularly the math and hard sciences, is very low among industrial nations, but the student’s self esteem is very high, which mean arrogant people who can’t read. You say, “How did they get that way?” Well, there was an assumption that they were really good and were just trying to build their esteem, make them feel better about themselves so they’ll actualize their goodness. You say, “But, if you begin with a Biblical assumption that foolishness is in the heart of that child, you will need to address the issues of the heart.”

I’ll give you an example. Do you need to teach a child to steal? Do you need to train them in that? They just steal, don’t they? You know how many toys we have in my house? My parents, still happily married and I’ve got four siblings. My wife’s parents, still married, years, and years, and years. They have got – she’s got two sisters. My daughter, Ashley, first grandchild on both sides. Alright? Can you fathom how many toys are in my house? We have bags of toys that we give to other people ‘cause we can’t fit them in our home. We have so many things. We have electric cars they ride around the house. We have full kitchenettes. My mom took my son to the Chuck E. Cheese and he jumped in the ball cage and liked it, so they bought him one, okay?

(Laughter)

He’s got a little ball cage in his room. I mean –

(Laughter)

Man, it’s insane, you know? And I said, you know, tell ‘em you want season tickets to the Mariners. You know, that’s what daddy wants.

(Laughter)

Now, in my home, there are a million toys we could have every child in the city of Seattle over to my house and they could each play with their own toy.

(Laughter)

Do you think my kids fight over the toys? They do. Why? Because folly is bound up in the heart of the child. You know what my son plays with? Sticks, rocks, and the firewood.

(Laughter)

He does. He hauls – I will – he has a houseful of toys. He will come in with armloads of firewood, walking sticks ‘cause he thinks he’s a shepherd boy, and pockets full of rocks.

(Laughter)

And you know what my – his sister will do? She will fight him for a stick.

(Laughter)

She doesn’t even want the stick. She doesn’t even like the stick. She doesn’t even need the stick, and there’s 50,000 other sticks. The world is filled with sticks.

(Laughter)

Why does she fight him for the stick? Because foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. If you try to be a child psychologist and dig down to the motive, you will just come to the conclusion that they are insane.

(Laughter)

They don’t have any logical reason. “Why are you drinking out of the toilet?” Don’t – they don’t know. They’re just doing that. There’s no reason. It’s not like they have a syllogism with evidences and a logical conclusion. Just, there’s foolishness in the heart of the child.

And so, when you’re dealing, mom, with the kids, what do you address? Behavior or heart? Heart. Because the behavior comes out of where? The heart. My wife is brilliant at this. I saw this yesterday with my wife. We were home, had a fire going and the kids are going at it, and I’m doing something. I’m reading or something and they’re arguing over the stick. And I hear their mom, my wife, say to my son, “Zackie, what is your sin right now?” Zack says, my two year old son, “I don’t have any love in my heart.” Is that the honest answer to why he’s ripping the stick out of his sister’s hand? That’s the Biblical answer. Now, the foolish answer is, “I had it first.” The foolish answer is, “That’s my stick”, as if he was lord of all sticks and made them. Was creator of the earth. That all sticks were under his jurisdiction.

(Laughter)

The honest answer is, “You don’t have love in your heart.” That’s the honest answer. A wise mother gets to the root issues of the heart and doesn’t worry so much about behavior. She knows the behavior comes out of heart. Can you change a child’s behavior and still have a wicked heart that is hard toward God? You can. Your goal is not to have – we’ll get into this in child rearing – ladies, your goal is not just to have a moral kid. Your goal is to have a kid who fears the Lord and has a redeemed heart that his tender toward his purposes, and his will and his Word. That’s what you want. It’s a heart issue. A good mom knows that. That folly is in there and it’s gonna take a lot of work to address the issues of folly, and by God’s grace, replace that with a redeemed heart that loves and fears the Lord. Now, how much work is that, ladies? That’s a full time job, isn’t it? Because how much foolishness is in that heart? A lot. A lot.

Another objective of motherhood, Proverbs 22:6. “Train a child in the way he should go. When he grows old, he will not depart from it.” Is it true that very early on in life children are learning, and they’re building momentum toward a way of life? Good or bad? See, some of you are struggling right now in your life because you were poorly parented. And as we get into parenting, some of you are going to see that. You’re gonna say, “Well, this doesn’t apply to me. I’m single. I don’t anticipate ever having children”, whatever it might be. The issue is, but if you look at the way you were parented, you will see a cause and effect relationship between the parenting philosophy and your life because early on, a course of life gets set, good or bad. Have you – did you – were you raised with children, your neighborhood, your peers, to where they learn some principles early on, or some values, and they just logically continued in that direction and now they are reaping either the blessings or the painfulness of that direction and course of life? Right?

I went to my ten year high school reunion. It was amazing to me. The guys in my neighborhood whose parents didn’t discipline them, their mothers didn’t keep an eye on them, starting at about ten or eleven, they would come home, drink beer, and watch porno. Okay? Now, these guys, at their ten year reunion, are still doing that and half of them are still living with their mothers. The issue is why? Because they were trained early and a life course was set that they’re just going with. At ten, you say, “That’s youthful indiscretion.” At forty, it is a major underachiever. I go to my parents’ house and there are literally still guys in my neighborhood that are still drinking the same cheap beer and chasing the same girls, and they’re older than me. You say, “Why?” Because a life course was set. And the life course is set. The training happens, as well, in a positive direction. There are some kids, you realize that their parents put discipline in them, and they began to work hard and love the Lord, and be honest, and that built a habitual momentum into their life in that direction as well.

Let me ask you this, ladies. If you are a mother, are you always training? You are. You’re always training. School is always in session. The children are always taking notes. And a wise mother knows that. And so, what she does is she considers this issue of Proverbs 20:11. “Even a child is known by his actions by whether his conduct is right, pure, good.” Here’s the issue. Does an identity of a child get set very young? You met kids. You’re like, “Oh, don’t have – don’t have those kids. Those kids are demons. Those kids are awful. Don’t have those kids in your home.” How many of you, you knew when you were a little bit younger and you got your first babysitting jobs, ladies, there were certain kids you said, “Never again. Never again will I go watch those kids.”? See, identity gets set very, very early, and it gets set either through the poor or good training of the mother.

I saw it this week. My youngest sister’s a senior in high school. I love her. We’re very, very close. She brought me into teach one of her classes at public high school. And it’s very interesting ‘cause I was sitting down in the office waiting for class to start and there’s a couple of guys there that are between 250 and 300 pounds. They’re like 17 years old. One guy’s got the headphones on so loud. I mean, I just keep waiting for his head to come off his neck. And the other guy’s talking on the phone the whole time. And my mom’s the attendant secretary at the school. And I say, “Mom, tell me about these guys.” She said, “These guys are not allowed to go to class. The teachers will not allow them in.” She said, “‘Cause this guy talks on the phone through all of his high school classes.” You talk about annoying. You’re trying to do a history lesson. The guy’s in the back with a hands free kit talking to his buddy in the next class. “How’s math going?” You’re just like, “What the” – talking on the phone. The other guy has the headphones so loud that it disrupts the class and he never listens to the teachers, so they just set him here and they set here all day.

And see, the issue is these guys have accepted this identity. It began when they were young. You’re a delinquent. You’re an idiot. You don’t have to pay attention. You don’t have to respect authority. You’ve been trained that way. You’ve assumed that identity and now you’re 300 pounds, and you’re really a problem. When you were 30 pounds, it was troubling. When you’re 300 pounds, you’re deadly. You’re very dangerous because you have, now, years of foolishness built up in your heart. And a mom knows, “I wanna set the reputation of my kids early. I want people to say, ‘Those are good kids. They’re not perfect, but they love the Lord, and they’re growing, and they respect authority.’ You wanna help set character and identity that shapes that child early.” And that comes through mom.

A couple of duties of mom. Here’s how mom does that. First, is through unspoken instruction. Ladies, your kids are watching you and they are imitating you. They’re like parrots. Most of what they learn will be from observation. Some of you had parents that said, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Which is louder? What I do or what I say? What I do. If I tell my wife I love her and then punch her in the mouth, did my words mean anything? No. Because what I do is a reflection, more than what I say. And so, she preaches with her life. I saw this this week. My newborn son was fussing and my daughter, she’s four, Ashley, walks up and she starts talking to him in this little baby voice. “Oh, Calvie. How you doing, Calvie?” She’s rubbing his head and she says, “I’ll pray for you.” And she lays hands in praise over him. Calmed him down. Then, a couple of hours later, he starts fussing and my wife comes over to the child, “Calvie, how you doing?” Lays hands, prays over him. It was like, “Ahhh, that’s where my daughter got it.” See, my wife never sat her down and said, “Oh, make sure when the kids are fussy, just lay hands and pray over them”, but Ashley saw that and she was being discipled through observation.

How many of you ladies, now, when you get together with your mom, it’s scary?

(Laughter)

Because a lot of your mannerisms and your temperament and your language, a lot of your – you’re like, “I’m becoming my mother.”

(Laughter)

Right? Some of you are like, “And that’s encouraging.” Some of you are like, “And I’m in therapy trying to recover.”

(Laughter)

A lot of who we are is unspoken assumptions that are just sort of observed through life and brought in. Sometimes, you don’t even know that until you get married and you realize that this person was observing their family’s way of life, and you were observing yours, and it’s created this complete set of assumptions that you’ve never even checked.

Here’s what a good mom does with her unspoken instruction. “She gets up while it is dark. She provides food for her family, portions for her servant girls.” Proverbs 31:16. “She considers a field and buys it out of her earnings. She plants a vineyard.” Proverbs 31:21. “When it snows, she has no fear for her household, for all of them are clothed in scarlet. Practical things, like what? Food, money, clothes. How mom lives, and acts, and does things, is a sermon to the kids.

You’ll see it this week. It’ll be cold and snowing. Look around and see if certain kids are not well cared for. Coats, hats, mittens, boots. See if certain parents are not preaching sermons to their kids by neglecting them. They’re not eating well. They’re not sleeping well. They’re not well cared for. They’re not well clothed. And some of you, as well, will realize that you’ve been discipled by your mom. When mom took you to the store and put something on the credit card and said, “Don’t tell your father”, was she training you? She was training you. She was training you. You’re always training by your life.

Women also train their children through their words. Proverbs 19:13. “A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” I keep going back to this verse because he correlates how a woman speaks to her husband and the quality of children that she raises. He brings those in coinciding relationship. If a woman speaks ill of her husband, negates his authority, disrespects him, she is training her children to rebel against him and to be disgraceful. And so, it’s important for a good mother to speak honestly to her husband with respect. “A prudent wife is from the Lord.” But, not in front of the children. “To speak with a lot of kindness on her tongue” is what Proverbs says. To speak in a way that is respectable.

In addition, it goes on to say, Proverbs 31:1 talks about this great mother. The sayings of King Lemuel, an oracle his mother taught him. If you read that section, what happens is that this mother sits down her teenage son and talks to him about, “Don’t get drunk. Don’t run around with bad kids. Make good friends. Don’t chase girls. Grow up.” See, that is also a mother’s job. Now, it has to begin when she’s real young – when the child is young. If the child is not learning to respect and honor their mother and father and to fear the Lord, and to take advice, and to heed correction, then when the child gets a little bit older, they don’t listen. It’s too late. Proverbs says, “Discipline your child while there is still hope.” I’m sitting next to this 300 pound guy who’s a total delinquent, thinking, “I don’t know if there’s any hope here.”

Now, certainly, God can break in and change his heart, but apart from some sort of tremendous invading of God into his life, that guy’s just gonna die. There’s nothing for him. He doesn’t respect his mother. He doesn’t have a father. He doesn’t respect his teachers. He doesn’t respect the principal. He doesn’t respect the law.

It goes on to say how a wife, mother, instructs her children. “She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Some of your translations will say that, “The law of kindness is on her tongue.” Ladies, here’s the deal. You need to know your Bible very, very, very well to be a mother ‘cause you’re gonna teach like Jesus. Did Jesus set up class and invite everyone to come to class? How did Jesus train his men? Life. He’s eating, walking, working, serving, doing life with his disciples. And as opportunities arise, he then teaches. Is that how a mother teaches? Absolutely. As opportunities arise, she brings in Biblical wisdom. She imparts that wisdom to her kids in the course of life.

That’s why, to me, it’s foolish to say, “Well, I’m gonna work eight hours, and I got an hour commute each way, and I’m gonna spend, you know, a good two quality hours with my kids every night and instruct them.” No, you’re not because you missed every opportunity that the day afforded. When they were fighting. When they were pitching their fit. When they were sinning. When they were angry. You missed all of those teachable moments and the word of faithful instruction is not just drop in general. It’s put in specific circumstances. It needs to be administered immediately as the needs arise. So, you have to be with your kids and you need to know the Bible very, very well. A good mother knows her Bible and she continually refers back to it because that is her ultimate source of authority. “God says.”

I worked through the Ten Commandments with my daughter when she was young. And that “honor your mother and father part”, that’s important. Kids need to be instructed early and mom, if she is wise, will do that. It says, it goes as well to say, “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction”, Proverbs 1:8, “and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Proverbs 6:20, “My son, keep your father’s command. Do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” It’s not enough, ladies, just to instruct your children. You should be teaching. But, you should be admonishing them to continue in applying the Biblical wisdom that you give them. Some mothers think, “Well, I told them what to do. Isn’t that my job?” That’s part of your job. Part of your job is to tell ‘em what to do. Part of it is to make sure that they continue in it. Where James says, “Don’t merely listen to the Word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” Just teaching without application and obedience, can lead to very hard hearted legalistic kids who have self-righteousness, but not holiness.

And lastly, she corrects sinful folly. Children sin. There was this weird thinking. Some of you are out of a generation where this was this tremendous experiment done on you and it failed. The experiment was, “You’re good. You need to have high self esteem.” And we realize that that did not work, but now it’s too late because we’ve destroyed a generation of people. The Bible says very clearly here in Proverbs 22:15, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child.” Foolishness, wickedness, rebellion. Now, they were created in the image and likeness of God, so they have dignity, value, worth, but that has been marred and corrupted by the sin nature. We’ll get into this in a bit. “But, the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

We’ll get into discipline as well. The purpose of discipline is not to punish. Some of you were punished. When you hear that, you say, “Oh, that was my parents. They beat me.” That’s not what the Scriptures are saying. The purpose of discipline is not to punish, but to correct. Scripture says in Hebrews that God disciplines the children that he loves. Love and discipline are inextricably intertwined. That’s why some children sin and if their parents don’t discipline them, what do they do? They sin bigger. Why? They’re wanting to see if anyone cares. They’re wanting to see if anyone loves them enough to intervene and correct them. And the Proverbs are clear that if you don’t discipline your children, you hate them. You hate them.

But, see we have child centered parenting, not God centered parenting where the goal is that we give the child what they want and need, rather than calling for holiness and obedience to the Lord out of faith. And foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. And if you don’t get on that early, it becomes death. I’ll show you what happens. I’ll give you a simple example. Do you kid proof your home or do you home proof your kid? Some of your parents intentionally said, “Well, our children will never obey. They’re gonna destroy the home. So, let’s put everything up.” And what did you do? You climbed. You got on the cupboards. You got up on the counters. That’s what children do. Because what we try and do is we try and fix the environment, rather than changing the heart of the child. So, what happens is some parents say, “Well, I can’t take my kids to church. I can’t take my kids to the store. I can’t take my kids to other people’s homes.” “Why?” “They’re destructive. They’re disobedient. They’re wild. And I have to keep them at home in a controlled environment because they’ll never obey.”

See, I saw that same thing now with a 300 pound kid sitting in a high school principal’s office this week. The teachers realized he will never obey. He doesn’t respect authority. He doesn’t care about loving his neighbor or loving his God. This kid is just defiant and difficult. So, what do we do? Put them in a controlled environment where they can’t do anything wrong. Put them in the principal’s office. Where, in this society, is the ultimate controlled environment for people who lack self control and self discipline? Prison. Prison. Prison is for kids, who when they were little, never got disciplined and never learned self control, respecting of authority, and agreeing to the rules that God has laid down, or that God has laid down through the state.

Can you absolutely kid proof your home and your life? You can’t. You cannot. I have a two year old son. We could put it on the roof. He would get there. A wicked, foolish heart will find a way to sin. The only hope is to change the heart and part of that takes discipline and it takes instruction. Modeling, words and correction. And we’ll get into this, but instruction, first; correction, second. That’s why with your kids, if you take them somewhere, you say, “Here are the rules. You disobey, here are the consequences. Are we clear? Good.”

Is that how God works with us? It is, isn’t it? “Do this. If you don’t, here’s what happens. Clear?” “Eat this fruit, what’s gonna happen? You’re gonna die. Clear?” “Discipline your son for in that, there is hope. Do not be a willing party to his death.” Children that are not disciplined are not loved and they die. They die. Did you guys see that kid on the news? I think he’s like 13 or 14. He’s a registered level three sex offender. Nobody knows what to do with this kid because he is a sexual predator. He’s too big to be disciplined. He’s too young to be thrown into prison, so they don’t know what to do with him. So, what they did for a while is they, basically, chained a police officer to him. We pay $1,000.00 plus a day for this kid to have a full time armed babysitter. His recent arrest was up at the Alderwood Mall. He climbed underneath a woman’s bathroom stall and tried to rape a pregnant woman. The kid’s like 13 year old. He’s over 200 pounds.

And it was interesting – I’m going off of memory – but, did you see his mother on the news? No father. There’s never any father with these people. These daytime talk shows and these tragic events on the news. You always see the weeping, bawling, crying mother who had sex with some man she wasn’t married to, and wonders why life is so hard. There is a cause and effect relationship. Is it okay for the man to abandon? No. But, should she have had sex with him? No. It’s interesting ‘cause on that show, I was watching the news, and do you guys remember how many children this woman has? I think she has five. Do you know how many fathers they have? I think they have five. Do you know how many she’s raising? One. Do you know why? She handed the others over to the state, including this kid. And here’s what she’s saying. “This is discrimination. This is wrong. This is not right. The state needs to do something for my child that I’m not raising. That I got rid of.”

And there’s this enormous assumption in our society that children are someone else’s responsibility, other than their mother and father. She is saying, “We need more taxes from you guys to take care of this kid and the four others.” See, the problem is if there’s folly in the heart of the child, what happens if there is also folly in the heart of the mother? Death. Death, Proverbs says. Mom needs a fear of the Lord and a redeemed heart in an effort to, by God’s grace, deal with the heart of the child. If she has a foolish, stupid, rebellious, reprobate heart, and then she has a child that is just like her, Proverbs says, at that point, there’s no hope. The discipline is too late, Proverbs says.

That’s why I think it’s just tragic. My mom works at this high school and there are 16, 17 year old kids who are beyond hope. I was there this week. They have a full time police officer stationed on campus, in addition to a security team on radios walking around a high school. The cop is packing mace, a club, and a gun at a high school. Why? Because these children have never been disciplined and now, they’re beyond hope. When a 17 year old kid doesn’t have enough self discipline not to kill someone, obviously, there’s folly in the heart and the mother and the parents have never addressed that and they don’t understand the Gospel of Christ.

And some mothers think it’s cute. “Oh, it’s just a – it’s a phase.” Sometimes, it’s a phase that goes from six months to the grave unless it’s dealt with. Here’s the fruits of folly. Mothers who don’t do their job. Proverbs 11:29, “He who brings trouble on his family will inherit only the wind and the fool will be servant to the wise.” Trouble. Some kids are trouble. They’re enormous trouble. Proverbs 10:1, “A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son, grief to his mother.” You turn on the talk shows. You see all the disastrous tales of disobedient kids. Have you ever seen a weeping father? It’s always the mother. Mom gets her heart broken when kids don’t come out right. And a child that is not instructed, is not corrected, is not dealt with the issues of the heart, ends up bringing grief to their mother.

Proverbs 17:25, “A foolish son bring grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.” It can become so extreme, according to Proverbs that is a mother does not do her job; she becomes bitter against her own kids. She hates her kids. She’s just trying to get rid of them. She’s sick of ‘em. She doesn’t know what to do. She’s bitter.

Proverbs 20:20, a foolish mother does this. “If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” He will die. Ladies, as a mother, you cannot permit your children to curse you out. You can’t. It is amazing to me that two, three, four year old children will shake their fists, curse their mother, and reduce her to tears. Some of you cursed your own mother. Do you know in the Old Testament what would happen to you as a child if you smited or cursed your parents? Death. Death. Capital punishment. The parent had a right to kill you. You say, “Well, that’s extreme.” Anymore extreme than the world that we live in? Children are not allowed to curse their parents. Children are not peers to their parents. Children do not get to boss their parents around. Children are to honor their mother and father.

I had this situation yesterday. My son, Zack, he wanted juice. He’s two. He’s a good boy. I love him. And he says, “Mom, give me juice!” I said, “Zack, you come here right now.” I said, “That is your mother. You do not raise your voice and you do not tell her what to do. You say ‘Please.’ You say, ‘Thank you.’ You say, ‘Yes, mommy.’ You say, ‘No, mommy.’ Do you understand?” “I understand.” ‘Cause any little boy or any little girl who gets to curse and boss around their mother, is that going to cause in them a fear of the Lord? Good character? Are they gonna be great employees? Are they gonna be good students? Are they gonna be decent husbands, wives, parents? No. They’re gonna be evil, demanding, rude, boorish. They’ll be Americans.

(Laughter)

And some mothers think, “Well, I just need to love this child. I love ‘em so much. Why won’t they respect me?” Love includes discipline and demanding that the children bless you, not curse you and that’s where Proverbs goes. It says, “There are those”, Proverbs 30:11, “who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers.” Let me ask you this. Let’s get real practical. How do you speak to and about your own mother? You should speak well of and to your mother. You say, “Well, she’s not very respectable.” Well, the office of mother is. If nothing else, salute the uniform. She’s a mother.

To me, when I grew up, man, there were a few rules that my dad laid down. I actually grew up in a good home. My dad was the head of the home. The food chain was clear. And the rules were work hard, never lie, and do not cause your mother grief. You break, one of those rules, run for your life. We were never allowed to speak ill toward my mom or about my mom. And if you lied or you didn’t work hard, you were in over your head. And I am so glad. My – we had five kids in a ghetto poor neighborhood. My mom was a good mom, and my dad held us to a good standard of obedience. I love my parents. We get along very, very well. And my brothers and I all graduated. All of us kids college bound. All did well. All happily married. All making decent money. All doing okay. Young. Why? Because, early on, my dad was like, “You do not curse me. You do not curse your mother. In fact, your duty is to bless her and that’ll build character in you. You speak well of mom. You speak well to mom.”

I can prove this statistically but, I tell you, my observation is, which people are the most likely to curse their mother? I would suggest teenage girls are the most likely. Teenage girls, for some reason, often feel the freedom to unload on their mom and disrespect and dishonor her. Proverbs says, no. We do this at the dinner table every night. I say, “Okay, kids, daddy’s gonna pray, but first, I want you to thank God for something that your mother did today. Bless your mother.” And I want them to realize, “Yeah, mom loves me. Mom is good to me. And here are the specific reasons why I am grateful for her.” Children should continually, habitually be in the practice of praising their mother. One, it causes them to be grateful. Two, it causes them to be aware so that they’re seeing it rather than becoming spoiled kids who just think that their blessed life is, you know, expected. They’ll see it as a means of God’s grace through their mother. And it will transform the child into being a grateful person. Children should speak well of mom. You should bless your mom. If your mom did a good job, you should thank her and tell her. And you should demand that same thing from your kids and dad needs to reinforce that.

Proverbs 19:26, here’s what else happens if women do not do their job of mother well. “He who robs his father and drives out his mother is a son who brings shame and disgrace.” Kids who are not disciplined and instructed early, later on, they push their own mom out of her home. Do you know I saw this in high school? There was a kid in my school. He was a gang bangin’ kid. He began selling drugs to his mother. He was a friend of mine. And she became indebted to him because she couldn’t pay off her bills to him. And so, he made her sleep on the couch and he took her bedroom and waterbed. Foolish son? Yeah. Foolish mother? Cause and effect. Yeah.

Certain people drive out their own moms. And certain people rob their own families. This can be overt. Guys who literally take things from their family, steal. I know a guy, worked with him for a long time. He was an 18 year cocaine addict and his mother would have nothing to do with him because every time he would call her crying, she would run because she loved her son. And you know what he would do? Steal her checkbook, and write checks, and forge her name. And every time he got low on drugs, he would cry, say he was sorry, suck her in, and rob her. And she finally, after 18 years, just said, “That’s it. I just can’t be robbed by my own son for drugs anymore.” And I promise you that it had much to do with the foolishness in his heart. And her whole life, all she ever did was ask him what he wanted, and gave it to him; made him a spoiled brat. And so, he thinks it’s mom’s jobs to also pick up his cocaine habit.

You know that every time I come to the office, almost every day I pass him. He’s homeless, living on the cut down by SPU. He’s dying of AIDS. He went from being a cocaine user to a heroine user, sticking needles in his body. Do you know he will not talk to his mother? He hates her as – he hates his own mother, speaks ill of her, because she has cut him off. You say, “How did he get there?” Well, it didn’t start last year. It started when he as a small child and he got to curse his mother. And he still curses her.

These are the people who rob from their family, not only in overt, but sometimes, in very subtle ways. This is the lazy bum who doesn’t get a job, but still makes his mom pay his bills. This is the guy who drinks up his money that she gave him for books in college, and so he calls her with a sad story, and then hits her up for more money. Happens all the time because mom is the softie. And you can rob from dad if you go through mom.

“The rod of correction”, Proverbs 29:15, “imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.” There was this weird, stupid thinking that if we just leave kids alone, they’ll develop into wonderful people. No. A child left to themselves just grows up to be a total disgrace. An absolute disgrace. See, we’ve even got technology to exacerbate this issue. If you want a child to be left alone by themself and you’re a parent, what technology is at your disposal? Get a computer hooked up to the internet. Get a television with a DVD or VCR on it. And make sure you go get a videogame player. And then, you never have to see your kids again. You can leave them to themselves.

And see, some parents say, “Well, let’s throw them in some sort of childcare/daycare sort of thing.” Let me ask you this. Are they even allowed to discipline the child? Are they allowed to talk morality? Are they allowed to share the Gospel? Are they allowed to lead that child to Christ? Are they allowed to talk about their wicked, sinful heart and their need to love Jesus and change? They’re not. Those institutions are solely set up so that the child can be left to themself. And the whole goal is to keep the child from dying or killing anyone else. That’s about as far as the jurisdiction goes. Proverbs says, “That child grows up to be a complete disgrace.” A complete disgrace. That a child should never be left to themselves.

The worst I saw was in a grocery store. A child was just pitching a fit, chucking stuff off the shelves. And the mother looked at the child and said, “Tell me what you want.” Well, the child, obviously, wants to rule the world. You gonna give it to ‘em? A child left to themself. “What do you want?” Parents get into this, too, with bribing, negotiating with their kids. We’ll get into this. “If you stop that, I’ll give you a toy, a cookie, a candy bar.” Kid hits 16, sleeping with her boyfriend. “I’ll give a car if you don’t’ sleep with him anymore.” “I’ll give you a college education if you pull your grades up.” Bartering. Negotiating. What’s that? That’s leaving a child to their own governance. That’s leaving a child to themselves. And then, you coming in under their authority and then submitting to them and letting them rule.

Can this start at six months old? It does. I have a three week old son. If he could, he would rule the world. And there are moments where he would kill me, had he the size. Why? I don’t know. Because he pooped himself, I guess. Do I love him? Sure. See him as a bearer of God? Yes. Should he be left to himself? No. No. He’ll grow up to be disgraceful.

A couple of more. “The eye”, Proverbs 30:17, “that mocks the father” – kids who mock their dad. “Dad, what are you gonna do? You’re not in charge. You’re not my father. Who cares what you say? I’m an adult now” – “mocks their father, scorns obedience to their mother” – “Forget mom. You can’t tell me what to do. I’m a teenager. I know everything.” – “will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.” Nothing good happens to those kids.

Lastly, “He who gathers crops in the summer is a wise son. But, he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.” If you don’t do a good job with your kids, they become lazy and disgraceful.

Let me ask you this, moms. Is it easier for you to do all the chores in the home, or is it easier for you to assign them to the children? It’s easier to do them, isn’t it? So, the tendency of some mothers is to do everything and spoil their kids rotten, rather than building in them work ethic and discipline. And when those kids grow up, they just continue that course of life. They anticipate that someone else should house them, feed them, care for them. Just sort of carry them on their back. There are single men in the room like that. You’re really disappointed that you have to work. You feel like someone else should be taking care of you. You’re consistently looking for a mom and a dad somewhere to pick up your tab. It begins when kids are young.

I can still remember, God bless my mom and dad, I was ten years old and I wanted to go out for the little league – I was ten or eleven – I wanted to go out for the little league all star team. And my mom and dad, it was my great idol, said, “If you wanna new glove, you go make money.” I said, “I’m ten.” They said, “Well, figure it out.” “Okay, I’ll figure it out.” And you know what? You figure it out. You totally figure it out. I got the lawnmower. I went out and mowed a bunch of lawns. I got the money for my glove. I came home and you know what my dad said? “You owe me for gas.”

(Laughter)

Was that a good lesson? A very good lesson. I’m learning about business. Is my dad trying to be a mean man? No, he’s trying to teach me. “Son, it’s good to work, but businesses run with expenses. Start to learn that. It’s important, if you’re gonna be a man.” “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” You gotta build discipline and work ethic in your kids early. It can start with chores. I mean, I don’t build a fire without making my two year old son carry wood. He’s learning how to swing an axe and make kindling. He likes it. It’s great. He feels like he’s a man. He’s working. He’s carrying heavy things. And he’s getting splinters. And he’s growing. It’s good for him.

You know one of the leading problems with kids today is obesity. Why? They’re just sitting there all day. On the computer. On the television. Playing the videogames. Talking on the phone. Just eating chips and hanging out. It’s important. Discipline. Chores. Work ethic. Why? Because when those kids get older, if they continue that habit of life, disgraceful death. They’re foolish.

Fruits of wisdom. Here’s what happens if you do it right, and with a bit of encouragement. Proverbs 31:28, “Her children arise and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her.” A good mom is praised by her children. The context here, she is older. I think that’s why some women go into the workforce. I don’t think it’s about money. I think it’s about recognition. You get a performance review. You get a raise. You get a promotion. If you’re raising kids, what do you get? More diapers. You have to get your security from Christ and your identity in him. It may not be ‘til your children are older that they look back and actually bless you. “Thanks, mom. You were great. I love ‘ya. We appreciate it.” When kids are two or three, sometimes they don’t understand the fullness of what they’re receiving from their mom. When they get a little older, they’re a little more appreciative.

Proverbs 17:6, “Children’s children are a crown to the aged, the parents the pride to their children.” “Children’s children are a crown to the aged.” What it’s talking about here is grandparents and their grandchildren, okay? Have you seen a good grandparent with their grandkids? They’re almost drunken giddy, aren’t they? They’re so happy, it’s almost, like, frightening. A good, loving grandparent around their grandkids is to into their grandkids. They love ‘em. My parents, totally that way. Grace’s parents, totally that way. It’s amazing. We drop off the kids at one or the other’s house every Friday night and we go out on date night and they spend the evening with their grandparents and it is the happiest moment of their life. This week, I pick up my daughter. I show up. The grandparents are standing with the front door open when we pull up. It’s like they’ve been looking out the window waiting for us to get there, my mom and dad. And my mom opens the door, “Yayyy, the grandkids are here!”

(Laughter)

And my son and my daughter get out of the car, and they go in, and they have the time of their – they’re like, “Bye.” They don’t even wanna see me. This is, you know, they’re just loved, secure, happy. This is bliss. Going to Heaven’s almost, like, you know, downgrading from this gig.

(Laughter)

And I come back and pick ‘em up later. I say, “How did it go?” “Oh, they were so good. They’re so wonderful.” Just beaming over my kids and Ashley says, “We made a butterscotch pie and a banana cream pie. And we sat in the hot tub and ate it.”

(Laughter)

Right? Like, who doesn’t love that?

(Laughter)

Right? Grandparents that are wise, love their grandkids, okay? Is that good? It’s totally good. Can they spoil ‘em rotten? Yeah, they can, okay? Now, what it says here is that – I want you to read the second half of the verse – “Children’s children”, Proverbs 17:6, “are a crown to the aged.” Grandparents love their grandkids and parents are the what? Pride of their children. Do you see that? The way that a grandparent is so excited and into their grandkids is the same way that children are supposed to delight in their parents. See that? A good mother has children who delight in her. And they’re as excited to have her with them as the grandparents are to have the grandchildren with them.

The other day, my wife was running errands and I was home with the kids and my son and my daughter come up and they say, “When’s mommy getting home?”, which, you know, was a compliment to her and a bit distressing to me.

(Laughter)

“Well, daddy’s here.” “Yeah, when’s mommy coming home?” I’m like, “Hey, I’m, you know, I love ‘ya.”

(Laughter)

“I’m fun. Aren’t I fun?”

(Laughter)

And their mom comes home, opens the – they hear her pull up. “Mommy’s home!” And, you know, they turn on their electric vehicles and drive to the door to meet her.

(Laughter)

That the grandparents bought ‘em. And they’re happy. “Mom’s home. Yayyy. We love mom. Mom’s great.” You know, is it like that every moment? No, but the principle is that if a mom does a good job, her children will delight in her and enjoy her and celebrate her. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. Don’t assume that children should hate their mother. And curse their mother. And not bless their mother. And despise their mother. And dishonor their mother. And disgrace their mother. The Bible doesn’t assume that that’s the way it should be. It just doesn’t. It assumes that it is possible to have children who love the Lord and are fruitful, and are obedient and bless their mother, and enjoy her.

Proverbs 23:22, “Listen to your father who gave you life and do not despise your mother when she is old.” Ladies, what’s gonna happen when you get old? Statistically, ladies, even if you get married, are you gonna outlive your husbands? You are. Am I saying you’re gonna kill them?

(Laughter)

Indirectly, perhaps.

(Laughter)

But, you will likely outlive them. The question is, ladies, when you are old, and you are sick, and you are lonely, who will be there? The Bible says if you’re a good mom, your children should be there. That they won’t abandon you. I told this to my wife, I said, “Sweetheart”, I said, “You’ve got a great mom.” Her mom is so good to me, it’s unbelievable. My mother-in-law, you hear all the mother-in-law stuff. Not my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law’s awesome. I mean, every time I see her, I get baked goods and kisses. I mean, she’s just – I love her. I’m her biggest fan and we get along marvelously. And my mom too, wonderful. I adore my mom. I said, “You know, someday, your mom or my mom’s probably gonna end up living with us.” I said, “So, we need to start thinking about that, setting money aside.” I said, “‘Cause when they get old, I mean, if they need us, we need to be here. They invested their whole life in raising us, and now they’re investing in their grandchildren. The least we can do is care for them when they’re old.”

That’s one of the big issues in our country is that children feel no obligation, even to their own parents because their parents didn’t feel any obligation to them. And it’s tragic. In most Eastern countries, if a child does not, when their parents become older, care for their children, that is a complete shame, and disgrace, and dishonor. Here, it’s just an inconvenience. It shouldn’t be that way. Shouldn’t be that way. It’s kind of funny, maybe a little crass. You think about it. You know, when you’re little, your mom changes your diaper and puts mushy food in your mouth ‘cause you don’t have any teeth. When she gets old, you return the favor. That’s just the way God set up the world. Something to think about. I thought that was funnier than you guys.

(Laughter)

Proverbs 23:25, here’s the fruits of good mothering. “May your father and mother be glad and may she who gave you birth rejoice.” Are there any moms in the room? Raise your hand. Memories where you rejoice that you had those kids. They’re there. I mean, it is so funny. I could just – I think of the moments with your kids and they’re certain things you just, “Thank God, this is awesome. This is funny.” Or “It’s beautiful.” My son is – I’ll tell you some stories about my son ‘cause you need more comedy. It’s been sort of heavy. My son, Zack, is – he is a Bible guy. He’s two years old. We don’t force it on him. He just loves the Bible. He reads it in the morning, reads it in the evening. We read it to him all the time. He’s got all the Bible videos, and he just wants to play Bible. He thinks Biblically. Last night, I tuck him in. I say, “Zackie, I love you. You sleep good.” I prayed over him. He prayed with me, prayed for me, prayed that I preach a good sermon this morning. And it was really, really sweet ‘cause I said, “Zackie, how much does daddy love you?” He says, “You love me. You love me like Jacob loved Benjamin. And you love me like Jacob loved Joseph.” Some of you go, “Who’s Jacob?”

(Laughter)

Ask my two year old son. He’ll tell ‘ya. I said, “Yes.” I said, “You need to be a good big brother.” He said, “Yes, I need” – he says, “I shouldn’t be like Levi and Judah.”

(Laughter)

I said, “Why is that?” And he said, “They threw Joseph in a hole.”

(Laughter)

“That’s right.” And I said, “When Calvin gets older, how should you treat him?” I said, “You remember Cain and Abel?” He said, “Yeah, Cain got mad and he killed his brother. I should not hit. I should not hit my little brother.” I said, “That’s right.” He just – he thinks Biblically all the time. Yesterday, we played about eight hours of David and Goliath.

(Laughter)

Guess who’s Goliath, right?

(Laughter)

I’m the big guy. He’s the little guy. And he has got this helmet, sword, shield, scabbard, breastplate, and he’s a tough guy. He’s a warrior. And he puts it on me so I can be Goliath. The stuff does not fit.

(Laughter)

I’ve got him by about 200 pounds. I’m sitting there with all this stuff on and he gets out this jump rope and he says – I said, “What are you doing?” He says, “I’m getting three smooth stones to kill the Philistine.”

(Laughter)

Right? And I said, “Then, what are you gonna do?” He says, “I’m gonna grind the bones.”

(Laughter)

True story. Absolutely true story.

(Laughter)

So, he pretends like he’s picking up stones, and he gets his jump rope, and he’s swinging it around.

(Laughter)

And then he lets go, you know? And I, “Ahhhhhh”, I die and I fall to the ground.

(Laughter)

And then he jumps on me. “I’m gonna grind the bones.”

(Laughter)

Now, it’s like – and we do that all day. All day, we do this, and I finally just said, “Sweetheart”, I said, “Honey”, to my wife, I said, “How often do you read him that story?” She says, “I bet you I’ve read him that story 100 times.” I was like, “Well, thank God. At least my wife is reading the Scriptures with my son.” Now, we gotta move him onto the New Testament, you know?

(Laughter)

The only thing he cares about is people getting kacked.

(Laughter)

He wasn’t even into the New Testament. I said, “You know, they used to beat Paul all the time and he was so tough that he would keep preaching?” He’s like, “Oh.” So, now he’s kinda into Paul.

(Laughter)

He wasn’t even into Jesus ‘til I told him that Jesus didn’t cry when they crucified him. He’s like, “He didn’t even cry?” I was like, “No.” He’s like, “Oh.”

(Laughter)

Well, now he’s into Jesus. But, there’s certain seasons where, if you love your kids and you’re involved, my point is you get to rejoice a little bit. You get to have a little fun, right? And the other day, I’m at Home Depot with Zack and we’re going through Home Depot and he’s got this rope. He always carries a rope, rocks, and a shepherd’s staff everywhere he goes.

(Laughter)

And we’re pushing the cart through Home Depot and he throws his rope out and he’s dragging it down the aisle. I look at him. I said, “Son, what are you doing?” He says, “I’m Peter. Your John. We’re fishing.”

(Laughter)

“Alright, man.” We did the other one. We’re at the grocery store and I look over and he’s standing up in the cart with his shepherd’s staff above his head. I said, “What are you doing, dude?” And he says, “I’m Moses. I’m parting the grocery store.”

(Laughter)

Okay? It’s just –

(Laughter)

− you know, thank God his mom reads him the Bible a lot. She’s a very patient woman. But, now my son – I’m seeing – he’s two. He’s thinking Biblical all the time. Everything’s Biblical to him. He – everything comes back to a Bible story. And it’s beautiful and you get to rejoice in the fact that there are moments where you see that God’s grace is upon your home and upon your kids.

The other day, Ashley was doing something nice for her brothers and I said, “Oh, that’s nice, sweetheart.” She says, “I’m just trying to be like Miriam.” Moses’ big sissy. She says, “I’m trying to be like Miriam. Miriam looked out for her little brother and I should look out for my little brothers.” “Yeah. Yeah, that’s good.” Just Biblical thinking. Biblical stories. Just read the Scriptures into their mind. That’s the instruction of a wise mother. It’s also the duties of the father. We’ll get into that. But, when you do that, it’s – you’re able to rejoice. These are my kids. I’m their parent. A good mom sees the fruit of her work and she rejoices in that.

Last couple. “May she who gave you birth rejoice”, right? Luke 1:42, Jesus’ mother, Mary, we’re told, “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the child you bear.” It’s a blessing to have children. It’s a blessing to follow in the footsteps of Mary and sit down and read the Scriptures to, and pray over, and encourage, and admonish, and instruct, and raise up children for the purposes of God’s glory. In Titus 2, here’s a beautiful thing, ladies. When you learn these things and you become older, Titus 2 says, “Then you can instruct younger women.” You can invest in some other ladies who are learning and growing and putting this sort of life together for themselves, okay?

I’ll close with this. We always – here’s my fear. My fear is we’re going through Proverbs, so I have to talk about the things that Proverbs talks about and it’s very practical. My fear is this. Some of you ladies will feel that I am picking on you. “I’m not single. I’m flawed, damaged goods. There must be something wrong with me.” I’m not saying that. I’m not saying that at all. Some of you ladies will hear me say, “Well, the most important thing is to hurry up and get married and have kids.” I’m not saying that. I’m saying, wait for a man who loves and fears the Lord and make sure that your character is of the kind of quality that both he and you have imitatable ways of life. And that you have wisdom, and knowledge, and fear of the Lord, and discipline. So, if you’re single, my encouragement is to commit yourself to being a Godly woman, and then, waiting for the Lord to open up that next season of your life. And not be anxious about anything, but in all things, in prayer and supplication, bring those things to the Lord.

For some of you whom are married, you ladies are wanting to have children. Some of you are struggling. You’re unable to conceive and there are certain issues related to that. Some of you are looking at adoption. Some of you women are trying to get your home built and get out of debt and get your finances in order so that you can begin your family. Your all at different phases and different places. Some of you are older and you’ve already raised your kids and we need you to invest in the younger moms. Some of you, perhaps, will not be married. I don’t know what God has for you.

What I am saying is this – is that this does apply to us all because when I think of family, I don’t just think of my wife and kids. I think of us. A church, okay? You may not have kids, but do you have kids? Are the children in this church part of your extended family? Should you be serving in the nursery? Should you be investing in them? Should you be loving them? Should you be praying for them? Should you be encouraging them? Should you view them as part of your extended family, like your aunts and uncles? You should. One of the most beautiful things for me is that my daughter has so many friends that are married, in college, and single, and working, and older, in the church. It’s extended family. It should be that way among God’s people.

And some of you whom are single, you have this great opportunity to bless the families by babysitting their kids and giving them a chance to go out on date night. And the beautiful part of that, will those children disciple you? You’ll learn a lot. That the children are members of the church. They’re participating in the life of the church. And I can still remember, my first ministry when I was a brand new Christian was running a Bible study for – running the daycare for a women’s Bible study. The women would get together for a big Bible study. I watched all the kids. I had like ten or twelve kids under the age of five. It was like going to grad school for me. I learned a lot as a single man. Serving in the nursery. Getting to know families. Investing in kids. Even if the kids are just walking by, getting down on a knee and introducing yourself and welcoming them into the church, and extending a hand of kindness. It is important.

We should be reinforcing the mothers and the fathers. We should be encouraging them. Praying for them and their children. And we also should see their children as part of our ministry. That we’re obligated to them, as well, as members of the church.

At this point in our sermon – service – I always bring you guys to a point of repentance. If you’re a single man, here’s what you need to do. You need to repent, perhaps, of the way that you’re living. That if you’re not respectable, you’re not fearing God, you’re not walking with wisdom and prudence, and you have not positioned yourself in such a way as to take a noble woman, in a noble way, for a noble end, then you need to do due diligence to get your house in order. Some of you men, too, are seeking to find sex without wives and sex without children, and trying to contort your lives to be completely disconnected from the wisdom of God and that’s foolishness.

Some of you women have settled for relationships with men that are just not respectable husband type material and you should just let those men figure it out themselves and cut the cord before your heart is broken too much. If you’re married, ladies, your job is to respect and honor your husband, and to encourage him, and to honor him. And for you men whom are married, your goal should be to make enough money, and to provide for your family so that your wife can have children. Bad things happen to women who have to wait a very long season before starting their family. They start to get really anxious and discouraged, and it works against what God has often created them for once they’re married.

And here’s what I’m asking. I’m asking that we would become new people by coming to Jesus with our sin and saying, “I’ve sinned – thought, word, deed, omission, commission. I’ve sinned. And here’s what I need. I need you to forgive me. Thanks for dying for my sin, and rising for my sin, and conquering my enemies of Satan, sin, and death, and being my God. And thank you for renewing my mind, so I’m not a fool anymore. And thank you for pouring your Spirit in me so I can understand the Scriptures and now lead me in wisdom so that I can do the things that I read in the Bible and be a different person, with different relationships. Different family. Different children. Different legacy. Different generations. Contributing to a different church. Contributing to a different city. Contributing to a different society.” But, it begins with people who fear the Lord. If they don’t fear the Lord, then there’s no hope for anything. And so, we always call you to repentance of sin.

And then, we ask you to respond through the taking of communion, which is Jesus’ body and blood, was shed for our sins. And we come to realize that we’re forgiven in him, and we’re changed and made new. And through the offering as well, which is part of your act of worship. And if you’re not a Christian, don’t give. For the rest, it’s part of your worship of God. And what I’m trying to force in all of this is that we tend to think of God and spiritual stuff up here and life down here. I’m trying to show you that in Christ, God has invaded this world and all parts of it, and that everything belongs to God and is worship or idolatry done for his glory or our own. And so, yes, our money. And our sex. And our kids. And our marriage. And our relationships. And our life belongs to God and it should reflect that. I’ll pray.

Father God, thanks for a chance to study Scripture. God, we love ‘ya. I love ‘ya because you loved me first and you put your love in my heart by your Holy Spirit. Lord God, I thank you that we need not be like those whom do not know you. That we need not live like those whom do not know you. That we need not have families. And relationships. And lives. And children. And finances. And sexual history, and such, that is governed solely by the principles of this world.

Lord God, I pray for renewing of all our minds. I pray for the ladies, Lord God, as well. For those whom are single, that they would grow in character and fear of you. That they would honorably carry themselves and not grow weary in doing good. That they would not grow desperate and -